Every step of the way
by Silwyna
Summary: Ephram and Amy are finally together. But then something happens that might prove to be too much for their relationship. Will they get through it? COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1

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Disclaimer: I own nothing related to Everwood. The characters and the universe of Everwood do not belong to me. I make no profit from this story.

_A.N.: This is completely AU. Colin is already dead, Amy never had a relationship with Tommy, Ephram had a relationship with Madison, but she was never pregnant. _

_English isn't my first language, so I apologize in advance for any spelling and grammar mistakes. _

**Every step of the way**

**by Silwyna**

"And you're only allowed to stay in the living room, the kitchen and the garden. Understood?" Harold stared intently at the two teenager in front of him. He wanted to make it very clear how serious he was about that.

"Understood, Sir. No making out in Amy's bedroom." Ephram replied, looking as earnest as possible. He and Amy had been forced to listen to Harold Abbott for almost an hour as he was explaining them the ground rules for their newfound relationship. Both of them had to use all their willpower not to laugh out loud at some of the rules he had come up with. But they had already decided before this conversation that they would follow each and every rule that Harold could come up with to make him accept their relationship.

"We understand completely, Dad." Amy said while she poked her elbow in Ephram's ribs.

"Good. I'll be in the living room, if you want to join me there …"

"Actually we wanted to get something to eat." Amy cut in quickly. She rolled her eyes at the smug grin on her father's face. He was enjoying this way too much. "Come on, Ephram."

She grabbed his arm and dragged him in the kitchen.

"That was a nice conversation." Ephram said grinning when they were out of earshot from Amy's father.

"I can't wait to hear the same from your Dad." Amy sighed. "This wasn't half as complicated when I started dating Colin."

"That's because your father liked Colin." Ephram stated dryly. He was relieved that they could finally talk about Amy's dead ex-boyfriend without feeling guilty about it. After everything that had happened it felt good to not have any old baggage standing between them.

"My father likes you too, Ephram, he … he just can't show it so well."

"Yeah right." Ephram laughed. "So, you said we were going to eat something? I'm starving. What do you got?"

"You don't have any food in the Brown household?" Amy teased him.

"Yes, we have food. But I didn't want to waste any valuable time with eating when I could be with you." He smiled as he slung his arms around her waist and pulled her closer to him.

"Mhmm, very wise decision." Amy replied with a smile as wide as Ephram's. But then she remembered her father in the next room and quickly pulled away from him. "So, food .. uhm, let's see, what do we got …" She walked over to the refrigerator and opened it. "Hmm, peanut butter sandwich?"

"Perfect."

"Good. Peanut butter sandwich it is."

While Ephram watched Amy preparing the sandwiches, he was suddenly starting to feel dizzy. He hadn't felt good all day and now it seemed to have gotten worse. He felt like he couldn't breathe and inhaled deeply to catch his breath. The air around him suddenly felt hot and sticky.

"Can you hand me the knife over there?" Amy asked. She was unaware of Ephram's suddenly pale appearance.

"Yeah, sure." Ephram took another deep breath and reached for the knife in front of him when suddenly his vision swam and he stumbled to the side. The world around him started to turn and he quickly grabbed the table to keep his balance. "Amy …"

He never got to finish his sentence as his world suddenly went black and he collapsed on the floor.

When Amy heard Ephram saying her name she looked up just in time to see him sagging down on the ground.

"Ephram." She called out shocked and quickly knelt down to him. It scared her half to death to see him looking so pale and lifeless. "Dad! Dad, come fast!" She screamed.

It only took Harold a few seconds to run into the kitchen. His daughter's scared call had alerted him immediately.

"Amy, what's wrong?" He asked as he stepped into the kitchen. Then he saw Ephram on the floor. "What happened?"

He quickly knelt next to Ephram and felt for a pulse. He was relieved to find a slow pulse, even though that fact and Ephram's shallow breathing and his pale and sweaty skin worried him immensely.

"Get me a cold cloth and that chair over there." He instructed Amy. Then he started patting Ephram's cheeks. "Ephram, can you here me? Ephram."

"Here." Forcing down the tears in her eyes, Amy handed the cloth to her father and quickly grabbed for the chair.

"Thanks." Harold put the cloth on Ephram's forehead and started lifting his legs on the chair when Ephram finally showed signs of waking up.

"That's good, come on Ephram, wake up. Open your eyes." Harold kept talking to him to help him wake up.

Slowly Ephram came back to consciousness. He heard someone calling his name, but he felt too tired to form any words to reply. He thought about opening his eyes, but every cell in his body screamed out for him to keep them closed. He was feeling so tired.

"Ephram, please wake up."

Amy's devastated voice pulled him back … she sounded scared. Ephram forced himself to open his eyes to see what had happened to her … and stared directly into the worried eyes of Harold Abbott.

"Wh-what …?" Confused he looked around himself. Finally he felt something cold on his forehead and raised his hand to take it off. Then he noticed that he was lying on the ground, or at least half his body … his legs had been placed on a chair.

"How do you feel?" Harold asked quietly. He was relieved to see Ephram awake. Fortunately his unconsciousness had only lasted a short while. When he checked his pulse, it was still weak, but not as slow as before.

"Tired … what happened?" Ephram spoke slowly – it felt difficult to say even those few words.

"You just collapsed." Amy replied. She took his hand in hers and gave it a tight squeeze. "You gave me quite a scare."

"Sorry." Ephram mumbled. He had no idea what had happened. The last thing he remembered was that Amy had asked him for a knife and then … "Did I cut myself?"

"What?" Both Harold and Amy looked at him confused.

"The knife .. I wanted to give it to you …"

"You never got to do that, you collapsed before you had a chance to even take it." Amy told him.

He noticed that tears where rolling down her face. He didn't want her to be scared about him, so to show her that he was all right, he tried to pull himself into a sitting position. Only to be pressed down back on the floor by Dr. Abbott again.

"You should lay down until your pulse is back to normal."

"I'm fine." He insisted. To prove his point, he took a deep breath and sat up despite Dr. Abbott's persistence to keep him down. But as soon as he sat, a wave of nausea and dizziness hit him and groaning he fell back on the ground. "Oh shit …"

"Next time listen to the man with the medical degree." Harold said smugly. He tried to take the seriousness out of the situation to calm his daughter as well as Ephram who looked almost as scared as Amy. "How did you feel before you collapsed?"

"I don't know …"

"Did you feel hot? Had trouble breathing?"

Ephram thought about that for a moment before he replied. "Yeah, I did."

"He hasn't been eating anything today. Could that be the reason?" Amy cut in worried.

"I just wasn't hungry." Ephram groaned.

"It could have been." Thoughtfully Harold looked at Ephram. "Since when aren't you feeling hungry?"

"What?" Ephram asked confused.

"Was it just today or did you feel not hungry for longer? You look pretty skinny." He pointed out.

"I always look like that." Ephram blushed as he gave his reply.

"I noticed that. But you look even more skinnier than usual. You eat properly?"

"I just collapsed this one time, this has nothing to do with being skinny or not." Ephram replied in an agitated voice. Again he tried to get into a sitting position. He was relieved that this time it worked. If he waited a moment longer, he might even be able to get up and leave.

"We're just worried about you, Ephram." Amy said quietly. She gently brushed over his arm.

"I'm fine, really. I … I don't know why that happened. I probably should have gotten something to eat before I came here."

"I'll make you something now." Amy insisted. She quickly jumped up and went back to making the sandwiches.

Ephram stifled a groan. Eating was the last thing he wanted to do right now. He was still feeling sick … but he wasn't going to admit that.

"Can I get up now, Sir?" He asked Dr. Abbott.

"Yes, but be careful. I'll get you to the couch. You'll eat something and then I will drive you home."

"But I'm fine."

"You just collapsed in my kitchen. That alone will be difficult enough to explain to your father. If I have to tell him that I just ignored that and let you walk around like nothing happened, he's probably going to strangle me. And he would have every right to. Now go."

He watched carefully as Ephram got up, ready to catch him should he collapse again. But Ephram managed to get up by himself.

"You don't have to tell my father. I … I can do that. I know how much you like talking to him." The mere thought of this father finding out about this was embarrassing.

"You don't really think I'm going to fall for this, are you? Now go to the living room." He ordered in a strict tone.

Sighing Ephram followed his order and left the kitchen. He tried to ignore the fact that Dr. Abbott was never letting him get out of reach should he collapse again.

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

Quietly Ephram sat in Dr. Abotts car, looking hesitantly at his father's house.

"You're ready to go in?" Harold finally asked. He couldn't wait all day for this kid to decide when to go home.

"Do you have to tell him?" Ephram asked for the umpteenth time.

"Ephram, you fainted. I can't keep something like this from him. He's your father." Harold repeated what he had already told Ephram several times.

"I know, it's just … we don't have the best relationship right now and … I don't want him to make a big fuzz about it."

"Really, you two don't get along? What a surprise." Harold remarked sarcastically.

Ephram only shot him an annoyed look as a reply.

"Okay, what is the problem this time?" Harold asked sighing. This was his daughter's boyfriend after all. He figured he should care about his problems from now on.

"Never mind." Ephram opened the door, but stopped when it was half opened. "If I agree to let you run a medical check up on me, would you not tell him then? If everything is all right, then there is nothing to be worried about, right?" 

Harold let out another sigh. He was grateful he had a better relationship with his children than Andy Brown. "All right. I want to see you in my practice before school tomorrow. Don't be late." 

"Thanks. I won't be." Ephram replied relieved. "And thanks for the lift."

Feeling much better now that his father wouldn't find out about his collapse, Ephram got out of the car and went to his house.

XXXXXXX

As promised, Ephram went to see Dr. Abbott the next morning. Before he stepped into his practice, he made sure that his father was nowhere to be seen outside. He probably wouldn't like the fact that his son was visiting his rival. 

Nervously he sat in Dr. Abbot's office and watched him taking a blood sample.

"Don't worry, this won't hurt." Harold mumbled.

"Does every doctor learn that sentence in medical school?" Ephram asked sarcastically. "It always hurts."

"It's just a small sting." Harold assured him. "So, what are you and the good Dr. Brown are fighting about this time?"

"The usual." Ephram shrugged.

"So you're just screaming at each other without any real reason?"

Ephram shot him an annoyed look, but eventually he decided he could as well tell him. "He keeps insisting on me taking piano lessons every free minute I have. He thinks that he's doing me a favor, but he's not. I like playing the piano, but ... " He shrugged and looked uncomfortably down at his hands. " I don't think it's what I want to do for a living. I don't want a career. It's not worth it."

"Not worth it?" Harold looked at him questioningly.

"You either have a career or a family. My Dad is the best example for that. If you try to have both ... people get hurt. It already took me too long to realize that ... Mom had to die before I understood that." The last part was spoken so quietly that Harold wasn't sure if Ephram had even meant to say it out loud.

"Ephram, you're mother's death wasn't your fault. It was just an accident." He said quietly. He had finished taking the blood sample by now.

Ephram didn't reply anything to that. He didn't really know what to say.

"Okay, we'll just do a few other tests and then you're free to go." Harold said after a moment. "Did you feel dizzy again since yesterday?"

"No, not once."

"What about your appetite? Is it any better?"

Ephram hesitated a moment. "Yeah, it's fine."

"Really?" Harold cocked an eyebrow and looked at him intently.

"Well, I haven't been feeling very hungry, but I wasn't feeling sick."

"Don't lie to me Ephram, you're father's practice is just across the street."

"I'm not lying. I'm fine."

"Let's wait for the test results to decide about that."

The rest of the medical examination didn't take very long. After taking the blood samples, Dr. Abbott checked Ephram's pulse and blood pressure and a few other minor things and after less than an hour Ephram could leave again. Dr. Abbott told him that he would call him when he had the results back. Ephram didn't care very much about that. Even though he wasn't feeling so well lately, he didn't really think he was sick. He was just tired.

XXXXXXX

"So, did my Dad treat you all right?" Amy asked after she had greeted Ephram in school.

"Yeah, he presented himself from his best side. We had a good time, shared some interesting stories about you." Ephram said teasingly.

"Ha ha. So, what did he say?"

"He just did the exam, Amy, there are no results yet."

"I know that, but ... maybe he already has an idea what was causing it?" Amy asked hesitantly. The shock of Ephram's collapse still hadn't waned yet.

"No, he hasn't said anything." He sighed. "Amy, stop worrying, I'm fine, really."

At this moment the school bell rang and Ephram was relieved to put a stop to this conversation. He just wanted to forget about his collapse ... remembering it was just way too embarrassing.

XXXXXXX

After school, Ephram went right home. He was still feeling tired and he wanted to get some sleep before his piano lesson this afternoon. Not that he was really looking forward to it ... maybe he could convince his father to cancel it.

"Hey Ephram." Delia called for him from the living room.

"Hi." Yawning Ephram joined his sister on the couch. "What are you watching?"

"Just zapping. Tired?" Delia asked, not really looking at him. She was still busy zapping through all TV channels.

"Yeah ... is Dad home yet?"

"Can't you smell it? He's trying to cook again."

"Great." Ephram groaned. He still remembered the last dinner his father had tried to cook by himself. Relieved that he wasn't feeling hungry and therefore wouldn't have to eat too much from whatever he was trying to cook, he laid his head down on the back of the couch and closed his eyes. A few moments later he was deep asleep.

When Andy came to get his children for dinner, he found his daughter snuggled close to her big brother watching cartoons while Ephram was sleeping. He had to smile at this picture ... he didn't get to see his children so peaceful very often.

"Dinner is ready." He said quietly. "I, uhm, ordered some pizza. The ... " He cleared his throat. "The meat loaf was a bit ... burned, so ..."

"Yay, pizza." Happily Delia jumped up from the couch, dragging her brother up as well. "Come on, Ephram, dinner won't be as bad after all."

"Hey ..." Andy tried to look offended, but he couldn't stifle a laughter at the sight of his daughter. "I'm not that bad."

"Yes, you are, Dad." Delia said earnestly before she ran into the kitchen.

"I guess she's right." Andy sighed. "How was school?"

"Good." Ephram replied as he walked by his father towards the kitchen.

"Anything interesting happened today?" Andy kept asking while he placed the pizza on the plates.

"It was school, Dad ... nothing really interesting ever happens there." Ephram replied dryly.

"Brittany and Casey were fighting today. It was really bad. They're both interested in Kevin O'Reilley. But he doesn't like either of them, so I think it was rather stupid to fight about it." Delia told them excitedly.

Both Ephram and Andy looked at her with wide eyes.

"Aren't girls in your age supposed to be more interested in dolls than in boys?" Andy asked dumbfounded.

"I never cared much about dolls, Dad." Delia pointed out.

Ephram nearly spit the water he had just drunk at the flabbergasted look on his father's face. "I think it's time for the talk, Dad." He said teasingly.

"Oh no. No, no, no, no ... I didn't have that talk with you until you were 12. I have at least two more years with Delia." Andy replied determinedly while he threw a warning glance at his daughter. "You're not interested in boys, right?"

"All boys are idiots, Dad." Delia grimaced.

"Good answer, Delia." Ephram grinned.

The rest of the dinner they stayed mostly silent. When they cleared the table, Ephram turned to his father again.

"Uhm, Dad, is it okay if I cancel the piano lesson for today? I, uhm, feel pretty tired and I have tons of homework to do, so ..."

"Ephram, we talked about that. I know you're already a very talented piano player, but you have to keep practicing to get even better."

"I'm fine with how I play. What if I don't want to get any better?" Ephram glared angrily at his father.

"Look, I know that you want to spend all your time with Amy right now, but trust me, you will thank me for this later. Those lessons are important and ..."

"This has nothing to do with Amy." Ephram interrupted his father frustrated. Why couldn't he understand? "You're not even listening to me."

"I've been listening to you you're whole life, Ephram. Playing the piano has always been the most important thing in your life and just because you reached the teenager age, I won't let you throw that away."

"This is my life." Ephram yelled at him.

"Exactly, and I won't let you ruin it."

"Like you ruined yours?" Ephram asked in a cold voice. "You put your career before everyone else, you're happy about that?"

"Oh, now we're back to that." Angrily Andy shook his head. He was tired of this discussion. He couldn't change the past, no matter how much he wanted to. "You're gonna take this lesson today, end of story."

Angrily Ephram glared at his father for a moment. Then he punched the wall with his fist, desperate to let out his frustration, and left the room.

Watching his son leave, Andy let out a frustrated breath. "Well, that went great." He mumbled.

He never noticed his daughter sitting frozen at the table, tears brimming in her eyes.

XXXXXXX

A few days later Harold Abbott sat in his office, going through his daily mail. It also included the test results of the last few days. When he opened the one from Ephram Brown, he didn't put much thought to it. He wasn't really worried about him because of his collapse. He hadn't been eating that day, he had stress with his father and he clearly wasn't over his mother's death yet. It wasn't really surprising he collapsed. In a way he was glad that he had found a girl to help him through all this ... if only this girl wouldn't be his daughter.

But when he read the results, he caught his breath. This couldn't be right ...

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

Silently Harold watched Ephram and Amy, sitting close together on the living room couch. Their hands were entwined and Ephram had his arm slung around her shoulders. Normally he would storm in there to get them apart ... it was always fun seeing their startled faces when he caught them like this. But not this time. Because this time he would have to interrupt them to tell Ephram that he might be seriously ill. This was the part of his job he hated.

"Ephram, could I talk to you for a moment?"

As he had expected, both Ephram and Amy jerked up and looked like he had just caught them with the hand in the cookie jar.

"Dad, hi, uhm ... I didn't know you were home yet." Amy stammered.

"Hi, Dr. Abbott." Ephram said, looking very uncomfortably.

"Amy, could you wait in the kitchen? I need a moment with Ephram." Harold said quietly.

"Uh, yeah, sure." Amy smiled nervously at Ephram before she left.

Ephram looked like he wanted nothing more than to hide in the next corner.

"This isn't about you and Amy." Harold calmed him. He couldn't help but smile at the relieved look in Ephram's eyes. But the smile faded quickly, when he remembered the news he would have to deliver. "Why don't you take a seat."

"Okay." Hesitantly Ephram sat down on the couch again. "So, what is this about?"

"I got your test results back today."

"Oh ..." Ephram had almost forgotten about them. "And?"

"We need to make more tests." Harold told him quietly.

"More tests? Why?" Ephram asked worried.

"Your blood test showed an abnormal proliferation of white blood cells. There can be several reasons for this. I want you to undergo a bone marrow biopsy. I scheduled an appointment for tomorrow morning in the Whitefield Clinic."

"Bone marrow biopsy?" Ephram looked at him with wide eyes. "Wh-what do you think this is?"

"Like I said, there could be many reasons ..."

"Yeah, but what do you think?" Ephram interrupted him.

"This proliferation of blood cells is ... it could be a sign for Leukemia. Among other things." Harold added quickly when he saw the scared expression on Ephram's face.

"Leukemia?" Ephram swallowed down the lump in his throat. He needed a moment to comprehend this news. "Okay, uhm ... so I do this test tomorrow and then what?"

"We will have to wait for the test results and then we'll see."

"And what if it is ... Leukemia?"

"Let's not worry about that yet, okay? Like I said, there are many possibilities." Harold assured him. He didn't want Ephram to worry about this any more than necessary.

"Then why did you think of Leukemia first?"

Harold stayed quiet for a moment. This kid was too smart for his own good. "There are other signs. Your collapse the other day, your loss of appetite ... and you said you're tired very often lately. But all of this might not be related, so ..." His voice trailed off. There was no use in lying to him. "Let's wait for the test results, okay?"

"Okay." Ephram replied quietly.

"You want me to talk with your Dad? He needs to know this."

"What? Oh, uhm, no, I ... I tell him."

"Tell him to call me, all right?"

"Yeah ... Can I go back to Amy now?"

"Of course. You want me to drive you home later?"

"No, it's okay. But thanks." Ephram gave him a small smile before he turned and went into the kitchen.

Sighing Harold watched him. He hoped he was wrong.

XXXXXXX

Nervously Amy paced from one end of the kitchen to the next. What was taking them so long? And what was his father talking to Ephram about? Hundreds of possibilities went through her head. Were they talking about her? About their relationship? Maybe her father was trying to talk Ephram out of it. Tell him all kind of reasons why this was wrong. Remind him of all the times she had let him down. But then again her father didn't really know all about that.

So what were they talking about? The test results maybe? What if something was wrong with Ephram? If the test results had shown nothing bad, than this conversation between them wouldn't take so long. What if he was sick? Seriously sick? But that couldn't be. Ephram couldn't be sick. Because Ephram was always all right. She was the one with the problems. And right now everything was fine. For the first time in over two years everything was fine. She didn't have to worry about her boyfriend waking up from a coma or getting back his memory or surviving a surgery ... she didn't think she could go through something like this again. So Ephram had to be all right.

"Hey."

Startled by his voice Amy turned around. "Hi. What did he want?"

She wished she hadn't asked. The way he looked, she was sure she wouldn't like the answer.

"He got my results back. From the blood test." Ephram replied. He hated how shaken his voice sounded. He clenched his hands into fists to stop them from trembling.

"And?"

"I need to undergo a bone marrow biopsy. It's tomorrow. On the bright side, I won't have to go to school." Ephram tried to lighten up the situation. He wasn't sure if he was doing it for Amy or for his own sake.

"A biopsy? That ... that sounds serious."

"Your Dad said there's no need to worry." Ephram tried to assure her.

Amy wanted to believe him. She wanted to offer to go with him tomorrow. To be at his side. She wanted to believe that everything would be all right. But when she looked at him ... he looked so scared.

"Okay, uhm ... if he says so." She smiled at him. She tried not to show how nervous she was right now, but she wasn't sure if it was working. "Are you gonna call me when ... when you're done with the test?"

"Yeah, sure."

She couldn't bear to look at him anymore. He looked so helplessly. She wanted to go to him, embrace him, hold him closely to her ... but instead she just stood there, looking down at her hands.

"I guess I should go then." Ephram looked at her hesitantly.

"Okay." Amy cursed herself. What was she doing here? Ephram was obviously scared of what her father had told him. And she stood here and only thought of herself. Determinedly she walked the few steps towards Ephram and wrapped her arms around him.

"Whatever happens tomorrow, I'm with you every step of the way." She promised him. Before he could reply anything, she gave him a long, lingering kiss. "Just to give you something to think about tomorrow." She smiled at him lasciviously.

A wide smile spread across his lips. "Thanks."

"Call me tomorrow, okay?"

"I will."

She took his hands in hers. "You'll be in my thoughts the whole time tomorrow." She promised him. She gave him another kiss before he left. She told herself that she had been there for him. But she still hadn't offered to go with him.

XXXXXXX

Slowly Ephram walked up the driveway. All the way from the Abbott's house he had thought about what Dr. Abbott had told him. He hadn't want to admit it in front of Amy, but he was scared. What if he was sick? What if he really had Leukemia? He knew that it was treatable, but he also knew that people still died from it. What if he would die?

When he stepped into the house, he looked for his father. He eventually found him sitting in the living room, reading some papers.

"Dad?"

"Just a minute." Andy said absentmindedly, not looking up from his papers.

"I need to talk to you."

"I just need to … finish this side and then …" His voice trailed off as he kept concentrating again on what he was reading.

Ephram stood in the doorframe, looking at his father for a moment. He suddenly felt like he couldn't breathe. He was scared and he wanted to talk to his father and he was too busy reading some stupid papers. "It's really important, Dad … At least for me." He added quietly, but in a bitter voice.

"Ephram …" Annoyed Andy looked up. He was just about to tell his son that what he was doing was important as well and that he just had to wait a moment. But when he saw his son standing in front of him, with fear in his eyes and looking again so much like the little boy he once was, the words stuck in his mouth. "What's wrong?"

Ephram hesitated a moment, then he stepped into the room and sat down on the couch, opposite from his father.

"There's something I need to tell you."

"Okay." Andy looked intently at his son, wondering what this was about.

"A few days ago, I collapsed in Dr. Abbott's kitchen."

Andy's jaw fell open. From all the things he had expected, this certainly wasn't among them. "What?" He gasped.

"I convinced Dr. Abbott not to tell you and I let him run a medical check up on me, to prove that I'm fine. I … I thought it only happened because I hadn't eaten anything that day." Ephram paused a moment. "As it turned out, there might be more to it. Dr. Abbott scheduled me for a …" He cleared his throat before he continued. "… a bone marrow biopsy for tomorrow."

Andy stared at this son for a long moment, needing the time to comprehend what his son was telling him. "A bone marrow biopsy?"

"Yeah, uhm, he said you should call him."

"Why am I only hearing about all this now?" Andy asked, suddenly feeling angry.

"I asked Dr. Abbott to keep this from you. I … I just didn't want you to make a big fuzz out of this. At the time … I just didn't want to talk to you more than I had to." Ephram admitted. He tried to talk in a steady voice … which wasn't easy considering how shaky he felt right now. The truth was, he was so scared right now that he just wanted his Dad to take him into his arms so he could cry his eyes out. But he would never admit that. Because this simply wasn't what his father and he were doing. They yelled at each other or they pretended to have a half way normal father/son relationship … but they didn't give comfort to each other, not really. At least not the way Ephram wished for right now.

"I better call Harold then and let him do the talking." Andy replied, struck by his son's words.

"Okay, I'll be in my room." Ephram said and quickly got up. He suddenly felt tired and wanted nothing more than to crawl under his blankets, close his eyes and shut the world out.

TBC

**A.N.: Thanks a lot for your feedback. It's always very much appreciated :)**


	4. Chapter 4

Andy stared at the phone in front of him. Something inside him struggled against picking up the receiver and calling Harold. Making this phone call, having this conversation with Harold would make it real. Ephram had to go through a bone marrow biopsy. His son …

He was a doctor, he knew what that meant. Or what it could mean. Maybe there was nothing to it. Maybe Ephram had misunderstood. Yes, that had to be it. Whatever Harold had told him, Ephram hadn't understood him right. 

Determined to clear this up, Andy finally picked up the receiver and dialed Harold's number. He didn't have to wait for an answer for very long.

"Abbott." He could hear Harold's voice.

"Harold, hi, this is Andy Brown. I just spoke to Ephram. Uhm, what's going on here?"

"How much did Ephram tell you?" Harold asked quietly.

"He told me about the collapse. Which I would have preferred hearing from you days ago, by the way." Andy added angrily.

"I know. I'm sorry about that. I should have said something, but at the time … I didn't think it was anything serious. And when he suggested the medical check up, I went along with it." Harold admitted. He did feel guilty about this decision. If this had happened to Amy or Bright, he would have wanted to be informed about it right away. But he knew about the difficult relationship between Andy and his son … and at the time it had just seemed the right thing to do. "Did he tell you about the biopsy?"

Andy swallowed. So there really was something … "Yeah, yeah, he did. What … I mean, why … "He cleared his throat. "What did the test results show?"

"His white blood cells are too high. Also he has lost some weight, he told me he has no appetite lately, he tires easily … and then there was the collapse." Harold stopped. He didn't think he needed to say anything else.

"You think it's cancer?" Andy asked quietly.

"It might be, yes." Harold sighed. This was more difficult for him than he had thought. "Look, Andy, we won't know anything for sure until after the test. So I'm telling you the same I told Ephram. Don't worry. Let's wait for the results of the biopsy."

"You sound like a doctor." Andy tried to joke. He wanted to take the seriousness out of this conversation. If they would only stop to talk about this in such a serious tone, then he wouldn't have to worry about it. But it didn't work.

"I'll meet you at the clinic tomorrow morning, 10.00 am. Do you have anymore questions?"

"No, not really." Andy replied quietly. He was too shocked right now to think.

"Is there anything I can do?" Harold inquired. He could imagine what Andy must be going through right now. The mere thought of one of his own children having to undergo such a test sent shivers through his spine.

"No, thanks."

"How is Ephram doing?" 

"He … he's in his room." Andy replied hesitantly. God, the question how Ephram felt about this hadn't even crossed his mind yet. "Have you told him it might be Leukemia?"

"Yes. He asked, so … He looked pretty shaken up." Harold said. Silently he shook his head. Leave it to the Browns to ignore the pain of another family member. He could very well imagine how the conversation between Ephram and his father had taken place.

"I'll better talk to him." Andy said quietly.

"You better do that. Good night, Andy."

"Good night."

Deep in thought Andy put the receiver down. In his mind he replayed his last conversation with his son. Ephram had said he needed to talk and Andy had made him wait, telling him he had something more important to do at the time. Then, after Ephram had told him about the biopsy and his collapse he had gotten angry. Not once had he asked Ephram how he was doing. God, he had seen how scared his son had been. How could he not have acted on it? Not for the first time he wished Julia was here. She had always known what to do. And Ephram always had had a great relationship with her. He didn't think he would have kept his collapse from her. On that note, Julia probably would have noticed that something was wrong right away. Harold had said that Ephram had lost weight. Why hadn't he noticed that?

A few minutes later he stood in front of his son's bedroom and knocked on the door quietly. If Ephram was already asleep, he didn't want to wake him up. When he didn't get an answer, he carefully opened the door and stepped inside his room. He saw his son lying on his bed, with his back to the door. He was covered with a blanket so that only a part of his head was visible.

"Ephram? Are you still awake?" He whispered. He didn't get a reply. Sighing he stepped out again and closed the door behind him. He wasn't sure if Ephram had really been asleep or had only faked it. Why was it so hard to have a normal relationship with his son?

XXXXXX

"Eat your breakfast, Delia, you're gonna be late." Andy told his daughter for the third time.

"Where's Ephram? He's gonna be late too if he doesn't come down soon."

Andy tried to sound as normal as he could when he gave his reply. "Ephram isn't going to school today, Delia."

"Why not? Is he sick?"

He swallowed. What was he supposed to answer to that?

"No, I'm not sick. Dr. Abbott just wants me to get a test to make sure everything's all right." Ephram said as he stepped into the kitchen.

"Ephram, hey, good morning. How .. how did you sleep?" Andy asked. He still hadn't had a chance to talk to his son again since last night … and he really needed to talk to him. 

"Good."

"What kind of test?" Delia wanted to know.

"It's not a big deal. And I don't have to go to school, so I guess I should be thankful about it." Ephram joked. 

"Dad, don't you think I should have such a test either? Just to make sure. I could come with you."

"That's not funny, Delia. You shouldn't wish for a medical test just so you can skip school." Andy spoke in a harsh tone which he immediately regretted when he saw the scared look in his daughters eyes. "Delia …"

"Dads always have to say this." Ephram smiled at his sister. He had leaned down to her and had spoken in a whispered tone, as if he was telling her a secret. "Of course they have to pretend that school is the best thing in the world and once we're old enough we're going to appreciate the good time we had during those years and we will miss it and all."

Delia laughed at Ephram's imitation of their father. She had listened to Andy saying these words more than once.

"Hey, don't joke about it. I know what I'm talking about." Andy said, acting offended. "I'm the adult in this house, so I'm always right."

"Sure Dad." Delia laughed.

Andy looked grateful at Ephram. He was relieved that his son had gotten her to laugh again and forget about his harsh words so quickly. He secretly envied Ephram for the relationship he had with his sister. No matter how bad things stood between them, no matter how often they fought about the little things, in the end they always stood together. Especially when it regarded their father, he thought smiling to himself.

"It's time, Delia. The bus will be here any minute." He reminded his daughter.

"Yeah, okay. Have fun, Ephram." Delia hugged her brother quickly before she ran out.

As soon as she had left, the smile disappeared from Ephram's face and he stared at the empty plate in front of him. Andy's heart broke at that sight. His son was a better actor than he had thought. For a moment he had even fooled his own father.

"You don't have to pretend that everything is all right, Ephram. It's okay to be scared." He said quietly.

"Delia doesn't need to be scared about this as well." Ephram replied in a hostile voice.

It hurt to hear him talk in such a tone. He knew he was just doing it to push him away. But he wasn't going to fall for it. He needed to talk with Ephram about this. He wanted him to know that he would be there for him no matter what happened.

"Ephram, listen, about yesterday, I was …"

"It's okay, Dad. I should have just told you earlier. Can we go now? I don't want to be late." He had already gotten up and was half way through the door.

"Sure." Andy sighed. He noticed that Ephram still hadn't eaten anything. Well, he hadn't had much appetite either this morning. Under the circumstances, this wasn't even surprising.

XXXXXXX

During the drive to the clinic, Ephram stayed quiet most of the time. Andy had tried to get him to talk a few times, but as he only got short, one-word answers from his son, he had given up. He didn't want to put any pressure on Ephram - if he wanted to talk, he would be there for him. 

When they arrived at the clinic, Harold was already there and waiting for them.

"Good Morning." He greeted them, more friendly than Andy had ever seen him. "You ready?" Harold asked Ephram.

"Yeah." Ephram replied quietly.

Andy suppressed a sigh – apparently his son was determined not to talk in full sentences this morning to anyone but his sister.

"Good Morning, Harold. Thanks for meeting us here." Andy said as he shook his colleague's hand.

"No problem. Dr. Barlington is going to do the biopsy. He's the best, so no need to worry. Do you have any more questions, Ephram?" Harold asked.

"No." Ephram shook his head.

Andy suddenly realized that he hadn't even spoken about the test with his son. Did Ephram even know what was being done today? Had Harold explained the procedure to him? Once again he cursed himself for acting so stupid last night. He should have talked thoroughly about this with Ephram.

XXXXXXX

They didn't have to wait very long. After only a few minutes in the waiting room a nurse appeared and asked Ephram to follow her. Andy got up as well.

"It's okay, Dad. I can do this alone." Ephram said quickly.

"I know you can, but I'm still going with you. If you have any questions, need anything … I'm there."

Ephram wanted to tell him that that wasn't necessary. That he didn't need his father for this. But something inside him stopped him from saying the words. So he just shrugged and left it at that.

Silently he and Andy followed the nurse into the examining room. A few minutes later Ephram lay on a bed on his side while a nurse inserted an local anesthetic in his left hip. He took a few deep breaths to calm his nerves. He didn't want everyone in the room to know that he felt as scared as a little boy right now. When he looked at his father sitting right next to him, he suddenly felt a warm feeling spread through him. It felt good not being alone during this. It felt good having his father at his side.

When Andy saw Ephram looking at him, he gave him a comforting smile. "Do you have any questions about the procedure?"

Ephram wanted to shake his head. He wasn't ready to take any comfort from his father. He had relied on that way too often in the past only to be disappointed in the end. And even though it felt good having his father with him right now, he refused to admit that he needed him. He could do this on his own. But to his own surprise he found himself nodding at his father's question and when Andy quietly explained him what would be done during the biopsy, he listened intently to every word his father was saying.

TBC


	5. Chapter 5

"Okay, Ephram, I need you to lay very still right now." Dr. Barlington said. "The local anesthetic should haven taken effect by now. Should you feel any pain, let me know, all right?"

"Okay." Ephram replied quietly. He was lying on his side on an examination bed while Dr. Barlington performed the biopsy on his left hip.

"I will insert the aspirate needle through the skin until it abuts the bone. Then I will twist the needle until it is advanced through the bony cortex, that's the hard outer layer of the bone." Dr. Barlington kept explaining. "You will probably feel a little pressure, but it won't hurt."

"Okay."

Andy watched his son intently. He could see he was scared. When he saw his hands were clenched into fists, he reached for one of them and took it into his own, giving it a slight squeeze. Surprised Ephram looked up at his father. Andy smiled at him encouragingly.

„I will start to aspirate the liquid bone marrow now. This might hurt a bit." Dr. Barlington warned him a few minutes later.

As soon as he had started, Ephram felt a stabbing pain in his leg. A gasp escaped his lips. He clenched his eyes shut and squeezed his father's hand tightly. This definitely hurt more than just a bit.

Andy could see how much pain Ephram was in. He wished there was anything he could do to take some of it away from him. But as things were, he could do nothing but hold Ephram's hand. He could feel his pain increase every time his son squeezed his hand tighter. At the end, his grasp was so tight that his arm was slightly trembling.

Ephram felt as if he had laid on the bed for hours, when in reality it had only been about 10 minutes. When Dr. Barlington had finally finished the procedure, Ephram let out a deep breath he hadn't even realized he was holding. When he noticed his tight grasp around his father's hand, he quickly let loose.

"That was it, Ephram. You can lie on your back now." Dr. Barlington told him. "I want you to lay still for at least 15 minutes. You will have to stay here for another hour. After that I will check on you again, see if there are any bleedings. If everything is all right then, you're free to go home."

"Okay, thanks." Ephram had followed the doctors instructions and lay flat on his back now. His hip where the needle had been inserted still hurt, but it wasn't as bad as before. 

"You've been very brave, Ephram. You can be proud of yourself." Dr. Barlingten said, padding his shoulder gently. 

Ephram gave him a small smile, but didn't reply anything. As soon as Dr. Barlington had left the room, he closed his eyes. He felt exhausted.

Andy watched his son for a long moment. He wanted nothing more than to take Ephram into his arms and tell him that everything would be all right. But he feared that his son would despise that action. So instead he just sat quietly next to his bed, waiting for Ephram to start the talking if he wanted to. After a while he had thought his son had fallen asleep. The more startled was he, when Ephram suddenly started talking.

"How long until we have the results?"

"We should get them tomorrow. I'll call Dr. Barlington first thing in the morning." Andy promised him. 

"You don't have to do that."

"I want to do that." Andy let out a deep sigh. "Ephram, you're not alone in this."

He watched Ephram open his eyes and look at him. "I don't want this, Dad. I've been fine on my own until now. That doesn't need to change just because I might be sick."

"You were never alone."

"No? You were never around, Dad. Not once. All the times I wanted you to be home, you never were, not once. Not when I was sick or hurt or … or whatever." He swallowed and turned his head to the other side. He closed his eyes to force down the tears that were brimming in his eyes.

"Don't do this, Ephram, not now. I can't change the past. But I'm trying. That's … that's why we moved to Everwood!" Andy looked helplessly at his son. He had thought, hoped they had made some progress during the last two years, but apparently that wasn't the case. Ephram still despised him for not being there for him during his childhood years.

"I never wanted to move to Everwood." Ephram replied, still not looking at his father.

"But you like it here now, don't you? You have met new friends, you have Amy … things really aren't so bad here as you thought they would be." Andy argued. He noticed how Ephram was trembling slightly. God, he should be resting and not fighting with his father. He had come here to help him, but apparently he only made things worse. "I can leave you alone, if that's what you want."

"Fine."

Andy swallowed. He wanted to say something else, but at the sight of his son, who wouldn't even look at him right now, the words didn't leave his mouth. So he left.

When Ephram hurt the door close behind his father, he couldn't stop the tears rolling down his face anymore. He hadn't wanted this. He hadn't wanted his father to leave. But it was better this way. It was better to do this alone than rely on someone who had let him down repeatedly in the past. Once again he told himself that he didn't need his father for this. He rolled on his side again, pulled his knees up to his chest, ignoring the pain in his leg, and cried. He felt like a little boy, but he couldn't help it. The tears just wouldn't stop coming.

XXXXXXX

Andy was relieved to see Harold still sitting in the waiting room. He didn't want to wait alone right now.

"Harold, you didn't have to wait the whole time." He said in an attempt to hide his relief. He failed miserably.

"Ephram is still my patient. I wanted to make sure everything is all right." Harold told him smiling. "So, how did it go?"

"As expected." Andy sighed. "It hurt to see him in pain."

"It always does." Harold agreed. "Why aren't you with him? You know you're allowed to wait with him, right?"

Andy sounded even more miserable at this question. "He didn't want me there."

Surprised Harold looked at him. "And you believed him?"

"As soon as Dr. Barlington had left, we started to fight again. He suddenly grew so agitated and I … I didn't want to make this worse for him than it already is. I offered to go and he said it was fine." Andy explained in a pained voice.

"And you believed him." Harold repeated sighing. "Andy, how long have you been Ephram's father?"

"What?" Confused Andy looked at him.

"He pushes you away every chance he gets and you let him."

"It's what he wants, Harold, he …"

"He just went through a bone marrow biopsy. He's lying in there worrying he might have cancer. He's scared he might die. And you think he wants to be alone?" Harold shook his head. He couldn't believe how Andy, a famous brain surgeon, could be so dumb when it came to his children. 

Andy sat quietly, thinking about Harold's words. They made sense. "How am I supposed to know when he really needs me and when he really doesn't want to have me around?"

"You never know for sure. But usually, the more they lash out, the more they need you." He looked thoughtfully at his colleague for a moment. "He told me you were fighting about his piano lessons."

"What does that have to do with this?" Andy asked, again feeling utterly confused.

"He told me he was under a lot of stress because of that. That you wanted him to have a career, but he doesn't." Harold replied carefully.

"Of course he doesn't. He's sixteen. Right now all he can think about is spending time with his girlfriend. But in a few years he's gonna see that differently and he will thank me for this." Andy repeated the words he had said to Ephram so many times before.

"You sure about that?" 

"Why are we even talking about this?" Andy asked angrily. 

"Ephram … he told me this while he was in my office, so technically he was my patient then and I'm not allowed to talk about it. But, well, since you are a doctor yourself …" He hesitated a moment, unsure if he really should continue.

"What did he tell you?" Andy urged him.

Sighing Harold looked at him. He shouldn't even have to tell him that, if Andy had paid any attention at all, he should have realized that two years ago. "Ephram blames himself for his mother's death."

"What?" Andy gasped. "He … He said that?"

"Not in those words, no. But he did say that he didn't want a career, because having a career would hurt the people he loved. And he said that his mother had to die for him to realize that."

Andy stared at Harold in shock. He didn't know what to say. He had always known that Julia's death had hit Ephram hard. But she had been his mother, of course he would grief for her. But blame himself for her death? "But why …" He stopped when realization hit him. "She was on her way to his concert when the accident happened. But I always thought he blamed me. I wasn't there to pick her up …"

He stopped again and looked helplessly at Harold. All those years he had thought Ephram hated him because of that. And now he learned that Ephram blamed himself?

"Talk to him, Andy. It would be good for both of you."

XXXXXXX

As promised Dr. Barlington came back into Ephram's room an hour later, accompanied by Andy. By the time, Ephram's tears had dried and he lay quietly on his bed.

"So, let's see how it looks." Dr. Barlington smiled encouragingly at him. Then he gently removed the adhesive tape that had been applied on the needle wound after the biopsy and checked for any bleedings. When he was satisfied that everything was all right, he applied a new one and told Ephram that he could get up now.

"You should only feel a mild soreness on the wound, it should be gone in a few days. If it gets worse, you can take Paracetamol to ease the pain. Should it get worse then that or you notice a redness around the wound, bleeding or swelling you need to see a doctor about it. The same goes if you should develop a fever during the next few days." Dr. Barlington explained. He didn't really think it was necessary seeing that Dr. Andrew Brown was his patient's father, but one could never be too careful. 

"Okay." Ephram replied quietly.

"Good, then you're free to go home. But you still need to rest today. I'll call your father as soon as I have the results." 

"Thanks."

"Thank you, Dr. Barlington. I really appreciate that." Andy said gratefully as he shook his hand.

"I'm only doing my job." Dr. Barlington smiled. "My best wishes to you, Ephram."

"Thanks."

When he had left, Ephram and Andy looked at each other uncomfortably for a moment.

"I get dressed then." Ephram finally said.

10 minutes later they sat in the car again. They still hadn't talked. Other then saying goodbye to Harold neither of them had said another word.

TBC 


	6. Chapter 6

As soon as Ephram was back home, he went to his room and called Amy. He was relieved when she answered her phone immediately.

"Hey Amy, I'm back home."

"Ephram, hi, how … how did it go?" Amy asked hesitantly. She wanted to ask a million question at once and at the same time she dreaded this conversation more then anything.

"It was okay, hardly hurt at all." Ephram lied.

"That's good. When, uhm, when will you have the results?"

"Tomorrow." 

"Oh, good. Then you won't have to wait so long." 

"Yeah, that's good." Ephram wanted to tell her how much he wanted to be with her right now, but she sounded so strange on the phone that he didn't get the words out.

"Well, uhm, I'll come over to your house right after school." Amy said after a moment of silence between them.

"You don't have to. I mean, I will have to stay in bed all day, so …if you have any other plans …" His voice trailed off. He was silently praying for her to tell him to stop talking such nonsense and of course she would come to him right away.

"Oh, okay, then … I see you tomorrow?"

Ephram swallowed. "Yeah, okay. Bye."

"Bye Ephram."

XXXXXXX

"Was that Ephram on the phone? Where is he?"

Startled Amy turned around, the phone still in her hand. "What?"

"Did you just talk to Ephram on the phone?" Bright repeated his question impatiently. 

"Oh, uh, yeah. He's at home." Amy replied quietly. 

"Is he sick?"

Amy swallowed and suddenly the tears welled up in her eyes. "He … I don't …" She couldn't talk. Before she knew what was happening, the tears were rolling down her face.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Helplessly Bright looked at his sister. He could deal with an angry Amy or an annoying Amy. But a crying Amy … he just had no idea how to react the right way. 

When she didn't give him a reply or stopped crying, he slowly placed his arms around her and pulled her into an embrace. "What happened?"

It took Amy a moment before she was able to talk again. "Ephram had to go to hospital today. For a bone marrow biopsy. He might have cancer." She said between sobs. 

Bright froze at those words. Slowly he pulled out of the embrace. Shocked he stared at his sister. "What?"

"He'll get the results tomorrow. Bright, I'm so scared. What if …" She stopped, unable to continue.

Bright took a deep breath. He still needed time to comprehend what she had just told him. After a moment, he had made up his mind. "So tomorrow, yeah? Well, if you're already crying about it, I can't imagine what he must feel like. So we need something to distract him from thinking about it too much."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know. We … we drive around, drink a few beers or something. You're his girlfriend, think of something."

"He's supposed to stay in bed all day." Amy said quietly. She felt guilty listening to Bright. Of course he was right. She should be with Ephram today. But being with Ephram reminded her of the fact that he might be ill. And that brought all the horrible memories from Colin back. She didn't want to see Ephram in hospital, she couldn't.

"Okay, then we do a movie marathon. We'll get a bunch of movies … real movies. It's time Ephram gets to see some real Hollywood movie." Bright said grinning. He remembered his endless discussions with Ephram every time they had wanted to rent a DVD… Ephram simply wasn't a fan of action movies. He picked up his bag. "Come on, let's go."

"Now?" Reluctantly Amy looked at him. 

"Ephram is more important than school, right? Now come on." Without waiting for her to reply, Bright walked down the corridor towards the exit. Amy hesitantly followed him a moment later.

XXXXXXX

"Ephram." Smiling Delia stormed into his room and threw herself onto his bed.

Ephram suppressed a gasp of pain when she fell against his leg. "Hi Delia."

"So are you all right?" She asked with wide eyes.

"Uh, yeah sure. I mean, we won't know until tomorrow, but … I don't worry about it." Ephram assured her. 

"Good. Would you like to get some ice cream? We could go get some. Mom always bought me some when I had to go to the doctor." Delia beamed with joy over the idea that she could do the same for her brother.

"I'd love to, Delia. But … "He cleared his throat and tried to sound as casual as possible. "I'm supposed to stay in bed for the rest of the day."

"But you said you're not sick." Delia said worried.

"I'm not. It's just, that … that test was … You're supposed to stay in bed afterwards, that's all."

"What kind of test was it? What did they do?"

Ephram hesitated a moment before he replied. He tried to find a way to describe the biopsy to her without making it sound too scary. "They got some liquid out of my bone and tested it. That's all."

"How did they get it out?" Delia wanted to know.

"With a needle. A big needle." Ephram shuddered at the memory.

"Did it hurt?"

"Only a little."

"Why didn't they just take some blood?" 

"They already did. I mean, Dr. Abbott did, but that wasn't enough." Ephram swallowed. He hated lying to his sister. Even if he didn't really told her any lies, he also withheld some parts of the truth and in his eyes that was as bad.

"Why did he take your blood and not Dad?"

Ephram let out a deep sigh. When Delia started asking questions, she never stopped. "Because I asked him to."

"Why?"

"You know how Dad and I are … we don't get along too well most of the time."

"So is Dr. Abbott now your Doctor?"

"I … I don't know." And Ephram really didn't know. He hadn't even thought about that. Should he be really sick, would Dr. Abbott then treat him? Or his father?

"How long did the test go?"

"Huh? Oh, uhm, I'm not sure. Not long. 10, 15 minutes maybe. It seemed longer than it actually was." Ephram admitted.

"What was it called?"

"What was what called?" Ephram asked evasively.

"The test."

"Why do you want to know that?"

"I just do. So?"

Ephram swallowed down the lump in his throat. "It's called a bone marrow biopsy." 

Delia stayed quiet after that for a moment. She seemed deep in thought for a while. Then she suddenly looked up at Ephram with scared eyes. "I've heard that before. On TV. The guy who had it done had cancer."

"I don't have cancer." Ephram said quickly.

"How do you know that? You don't get the results until tomorrow." Delia was close to tears now.

"Of course he doesn't have cancer." Laughing Bright stepped into the room, followed by Amy. "He's sixteen. How many sixteen years old do you know that have cancer?"

"Uhm, none." Delia said quietly.

"See ..." Bright smiled at her encouragingly then he threw a bag on Ephram's bed. "Here, we got 24 hours movie time nonstop."

Ephram stared at them for a moment, completely taken by surprise. "What are you doing here?"

"I met Bright in school and he convinced me that watching movies with you was more important than education." Amy said smiling as she sat next to Ephram. Then she bend over to him and gave him a kiss. "I missed you."

"I ... I missed you too." Ephram said quietly. A warm feeling spread through him. It felt good being with her again. Somehow waiting for the news didn't seem so hard now that she was here.

"So, you're ready?" Bright asked grinning.

"What were you doing in school anyway?" Delia asked. "You're not in high school anymore."

Both Amy and Ephram looked from her to Bright dumbstruck. Neither of them had wondered about that.

"Oh, uhm ... I wanted to convince Ephram to skip school. I ... was bored."

"Get a job, Bright." Amy groaned.

"I will, I will. Can we watch the movies now?"

"Yeah, let's go downstairs." Ephram smiled. He took Amy's hand in his and together all four of them went down to the living room.

TBC


	7. Chapter 7

Once again Andy found himself waiting in front of the phone. This time he was sitting in his office and today it was him waiting for the call. He wasn't sure if he should look forward to it or dread the phone call. He wasn't a very religious man, but last night he had prayed for hours that his son was all right. Ephram couldn't be sick. He didn't know what he should do if he would lose him. He immediately chastised himself for thinking like this. Even if Ephram had leukemia, it didn't mean that he would die. He was young, he had every chance to beat this. But the path to recovery would be hard. He would be in pain and that alone made Andy cringe inside. He didn't want either of his children to suffer … and if Ephram was sick, both of them would. Delia loved her big brother more than any-thing in the world and to see him sick would scare her. He wished he could protect both of them but if Ephram was really sick, he didn't know how he could.

Andy was so deep in thought that when the phone finally rang, he was so startled, he nearly jumped from his chair. He took a deep breath to calm himself before he picked up the receiver.

"Yes?" He asked in a hoarse voice. He swallowed down the lump in his throat.

"Dr. Brown, this is Dr. Barlington. I have the test results you have been waiting for."

"Yes." Andy wished he could say anything else, anything to postpone whatever Dr. Barlington was about to tell him. But he couldn't find any other words. He felt as if his mind had just shut down and the only thing he was able to do was wait and listen.

"The test was positive. I'm sorry. Ephram has leukemia." Dr. Barlington said quietly. He waited a moment for Andy to comprehend what he had just said before he went on.

Andy felt as if he had just been kicked in the stomach. Of course he knew that this possibility had existed. It had kept him awake most of the night. But now it wasn't a possibility anymore … it had become a fact.

"It's acute leukemia, so we have to start with the treatment immediately." Dr. Barlington went on. "I have scheduled Ephram for tomorrow morning for further tests. After that we will start the first chemotherapy."

When he didn't hear the other man say anything else, Andy knew he was waiting for a reply. He swallowed again and searched for the right words. "Yes, uhm, okay, we'll be there tomorrow. Thanks."

"Do you have any more questions?"

"No." Andy sighed. He didn't have to ask anything else. He already knew what would happen next. He knew what his son would have to go through. "No, I don't have any questions."

XXXXXXX

Hand in hand Amy and Ephram walked out of the school building.

"We could go to the movies later today, if you like." Amy said. "We should celebrate that you're not sick."

"I don't have the results back yet." Ephram replied quietly.

"Yes, I know. But you have to be optimistic, then everything will turn out all right." Amy said confidently.

"Yeah? Well, if it's that easy, I can stop studying and just be optimistic that I will graduate high school by doing nothing." Ephram said teasingly. He had tried all morning to talk in a light mood. He didn't want Amy to worry. But inside he felt scared. He knew something was wrong. He hadn't felt well for some time now. He was tired all the time, he had no appetite … and this morning he had discovered several bruises on his arms and legs. And when he thought back, he had more bruises lately than usual.

"You wish." Amy laughed. Then she turned to him, slung her arms around his neck and pulled him closer. "I love you." She said and gave him a long kiss.

Returning the kiss, Ephram wrapped his arms around her waist. He closed his eyes and simply enjoyed the moment. He wished they could stay like this forever. But when he opened his eyes again and looked over Amy's shoulder, he saw his father standing next to his car, waiting for him. He froze … his father usually never picked him up from school.

Amy noticed how Ephram had tensed up and pulled away from him. "What's wrong?"

"My Dad …" Ephram cleared his throat. "He's waiting for me."

Amy's smile faded and slowly she turned around. Her eyes were fixed on Ephram's father and for a moment neither she nor Ephram said anything. They pulled out of the embrace and Amy let go of Ephram's hand.

"I should go." Ephram finally said after a moment. "I see you later, okay?"

"Yeah, okay." Amy said quietly. She gave him another short kiss before he left. Still frozen she watched him walking to his father's car. She told herself that that meant nothing. This was just a father picking up his son from school. It happened every day all over the country. It meant nothing. But she knew she was lying to herself.

XXXXXXX

"Hey Dad."

"Hey." Andy smiled at his son. "I was in the neighborhood and thought I'd pick you up."

"Thanks."

They both got in and Andy started the car. The next few minutes neither of them said a word. It was Ephram who finally broke the silence.

"So, did Dr. Barlington call?" He held his breath as he waited for the reply.

"Yes … yes, he did." Andy replied hesitantly. "Why don't we go to Mama Joy's to get something to eat? I'm starving and …"

"Dad." Ephram interrupted his father. He didn't have to say anything else.

Sighing Andy stopped the car and turned to his son. "The test was positive. You … you have leukemia."

Ephram clenched his hands into fists to stop them from trembling. He swallowed. "Okay, uhm, what … what happens now?"

"There will be a few more tests tomorrow. And … and then you will start with a chemotherapy right away."

"A chemo?" Ephram asked terrified. He hadn't even thought about that yet. "So … will I lose my hair?"

"No." Andy said quickly. Then he pulled himself together. "Not necessarily. There are several different side effects. But you might have none at all."

Ephram nodded slowly. "What other side effects are there?"

Sighing Andy looked at his son. He didn't know who was hurting more at the moment, he or Ephram. "Nausea, vomiting, weariness, fever, intestine inflammation, you'll be more susceptible for infections ..." His voice trailed off. He couldn't believe this was really happening.

"Sounds great." Ephram replied sarcastically.

Suddenly Andy grasped his son's hand. Surprised Ephram looked up at him.

"Listen to me." Andy said determinedly. "You just have to fight this. No matter how hard it gets, you can't lose hope. You fight and you beat this. You hear me?"

Stunned Ephram listened to his father. He had never heard him talk in such a tone. "Yes." He pressed out.

"Good. We'll get through this together. All right? You're not alone. If you have any questions, all you have to do is ask. If you …" He swallowed. "If you're in pain, you tell me and I'll do everything I can to make it easier for you. I'm right by your side the whole time."

Ephram felt the tears brimming in his eyes. He clenched the fist of his free hand even tighter to hinder the tears from falling down his face. "Okay."

Andy nodded and blinked away his own tears. "All right then. How about we get something to eat now?" He said as he started the car again.

"Sounds good." Ephram whispered.

When Andy looked back at him, he saw a small smile on his son's face.

XXXXXXX

Nervously Ephram stood before the Abbott house and waited for someone to open the door. He had no idea how he was supposed to tell Amy. She had been so confident that he was all right. He wondered what she would do when he told her. His heart told him that nothing would change between them, but there was this little voice in his head that reminded him that she already went through so many bad things with her last boyfriend. It wasn't really fair to put her through that again. Would she even want to go through it again? He was afraid she would leave him.

"Hey Ephram. Come on in." Smiling warmly Harold had appeared before him.

"Hi Dr. Abbott. Uhm, I wanted to see Amy."

"She's in her room." Harold said as he made space to let Ephram in. "How are you doing?"

Hesitantly Ephram looked at him. "Did my Dad, uh, call you yet?"

"Yes, he did." Harold sighed. He wished he could do something to make this easier for the boy. Or for his daughter. "Just go upstairs, Amy is already waiting for you."

"Thanks." Ephram gave him a quick smile and went upstairs. He hesitated a moment before he knocked on the door to Amy's bedroom. He suddenly realized that this was the first time he was in here since they were together. Apparently Dr. Abbott's very strict relationship rules didn't apply anymore when you had a live threatening disease, Ephram thought.

The door practically flung open and Amy stood before him. "Ephram, hi." She slung her arms around him and gave him a long, passionate kiss.

Her sudden appearance had taken Ephram by surprise, but he regained his composure quickly and returned the kiss. "Nice to see you too." He said smiling once they had pulled away from another.

"Come on in. I already found the perfect movie for tonight." Amy said joyfully. She went to her desk to get the theater program.

Ephram's smile faded immediately. He didn't really feel like going to the movies and he figured that in a minute Amy wouldn't either.

"Amy, I …" He stopped and looked hesitantly at her. He closed his eyes for a second and took a deep breath. When he opened them again, he saw Amy looking at him intently.

"What?"

"I have leukemia."

For a long moment there was silence between them. Ephram waited for any kind of response and Amy had no idea how to react.

Finally she walked to him and pulled him in a tight embrace. "I'm sorry, Ephram." She whispered with tears in her eyes. "If there is anything I can do ..."

"Just being with you makes this easier." Ephram mumbled. He didn't dare to look in her eyes.

"Like I said, Ephram, I'm with you every step of the way." Amy replied quietly. "I promise."

TBC


	8. Chapter 8

When Andy stepped into his daughter's bedroom to wake her he found her bed empty. For a moment he was confused as Delia never woke up before him ... except on birthdays and Christmas morning. But then he had an idea. He walked to the next room, Ephram's room, and opened the door. And there she was ... snuggled closely to her big brother. He smiled at the sight. He had found them often like this during the first few weeks after their move to Everwood. When Delia was scared about something, she always went to her brother first. Only this time it was her brother she was scared about.

He remembered how she had reacted when he had told her about Ephram's disease last night. She had been terrified. She was afraid to lose him. He had tried to explain to her that having Leukemia didn't mean that he would die. He had explained her the therapy he had to go through, that it will be difficult, that his condition will get worse before he will be better, but that he had every chance to beat this. He hadn't told her that people with acute leukemia had a chance of survival of 80 percent. Which wasn't 100 percent. Which worried him immensely. He didn't want Ephram to become one of those 20 percent. But he didn't want Delia to worry about it. So he had played it down. But Delia had cried anyway and she hadn't stopped until Ephram had come home. She had flung herself in his arms and after only a few words of Ephram she had stopped crying. His son had always known how to calm her. Andy had to admit that he had been envious of their relationship several times in the past. He had never been able to stop Delia from crying, at least not so fast. Smiling he remembered that Julia had had the same talent ... Ephram truly was her son. And now he was glad they had such a close relationship. It would help them through the next months.

He was reluctant to wake them. They looked so peaceful. But Delia had to go to school and Ephram would start his therapy today as well as have several new tests. His son's ringing alarm clock saved him from disturbing his children's sleep himself. Smiling he watched his son turning off the alarm with a groan.

"Good Morning." He let them now he was there.

"Morning." Ephram mumbled, not bothering to open his eyes.

"Morning." Delia's tiny voice was heard from under the blankets.

"Time to get up. Breakfast will be ready in 20 minutes." Andy told them before he stepped out on the corridor again.

Half an hour later they all sat around the kitchen table, eating in silence. Neither of them really knew what to say. Andy had tried to start a conversation, but he hadn't found the right words and therefore had decided to stay quiet. Eventually it was Delia who broke the silence.

"I want to go with Ephram today."

"What?" Stunned Andy looked at his daughter.

"Delia." Ephram groaned at the same time which brought him a surprised look of his father. Apparently this wasn't the first time his children had talked about this.

"I don't want to go to school. I want to be there for Ephram. Just today. Please Dad."

"No, Delia, you ..." Helplessly Andy looked at his daughter. She looked so determinedly. All she wanted to do was help her big brother. It broke his heart to deny her this request.

"Delia, you're going to school. I appreciate the offer, but no. I need you to go to school and get me ice cream afterwards when we get back." Ephram cut in before his father could say anything.

"Ice cream?" With wide eyes Delia looked at her brother.

"Yeah. That helped immensely the last time." Ephram assured her.

"Oh ... Okay. What kind of ice cream?"

"I leave that to the ice cream queen." Ephram replied smiling.

Stunned Andy watched his children. He had prepared himself for a long lasting debate with his daughter and within just one minute Ephram had convinced her to go to school. Once again he was reminded that his son had a better relationship with Delia than he had. He wished he had paid better attention when Julia had tried to tell him how to deal with their children. But he had always expected her to be there. He had never thought he would have to do this all alone one day.

XXXXXXX

Several hours later Ephram and Andy were in the hospital. Ephram had to undergo several tests to verify if the cancer had already spread and attacked any organs. After that they had met again with Dr. Barlington who had told them the specifics about the therapy. Three weeks of cranial irradiation, a preventive therapy to stop the cancer from spreading to the brain and nervous system, and six weeks of chemotherapy, twice a week, followed by a stem cell transplantation – if they could find a donor. Ephram had listened to all this without saying much.

He had already went through his first irradiation and now was getting his first chemotherapy. He didn't want to admit it to his father, but he was scared. He had watched several movies where people had gotten chemotherapy and that wasn't something he wanted to go through. He never thought he would have to. And now here he was. Sitting in a hospital room with an IV in his arm, getting his first chemo. He still couldn't believe this was really happening. Last week he still had been a healthy 16 year old who was happy to be with the girl of his dreams and now ...

He swallowed down the lump in this throat and looked around the room. He wasn't the only one here getting a chemotherapy. There was a girl about his age who looked as miserable as he felt. She looked pale and frail. He wondered how long it would take him to look the same. He hadn't even noticed that he had stared at her until she suddenly approached him.

"Third round." She said with a small smile on her lips.

"What?"

"Third round of chemotherapy. I already went through this a few times before, no stem cell transplant yet, they couldn't find the right donor ... so I'm back here." She had spoken so lightly as if she was discussing the latest sport results with him. "I'm Cassie."

"Uh ... I'm Ephram."

"What do you have?"

"Leukemia."

"Me too." She smiled. "Is this your first time?"

At his dumbfounded look she laughed. "Your first chemo."

"Oh, uh, yeah ... yes, it is."

"I guess I should say something like, don't worry, it's half as bad as you think, but ... it's not. It is as bad as you think. But I still have my hair. It's a lot lighter now than before, but ... it's better than being bold. And the side effects, well, you get used to it. Running into the bathroom in the middle of the night kinda gets normal routine after a while. And as for the rest ... nausea, fatigue, pain, nose bleeding, all that stuff ... you get used to it."

"Thanks, I feel much better now." Ephram replied sarcastically.

She laughed again. "Sorry, but when you've gone through all this before, it gets easier to talk about it."

"I don't really want to talk about it." Ephram stated dryly. "No one said anything about nose bleeding."

"Oh, that's because it's not a direct side effect of the chemo. It comes from the leukemia. The pain in your bones as well. But they have good meds against that. Against the pain, I mean. And there is always a bright side to it."

"There's a bright side?" Ephram asked skeptically.

"Yes. You find out who your real friends are." She said quietly.

"Oh ... Well, I don't have that many friends to begin with, so I guess that won't be too hard." He cleared his throat. Somehow their light conversation about painful side effects had actually turned into a sad topic.

"I had tons of them." Cassie told him, a sad tone in her voice. "I was one of the favorite girls in my school. But favorite girls don't have cancer, so ... From a long list of friends, three are left now. But they are great. Once I'm done with a cycle here, they plan something extraordinary for me. Something to look forward to. It makes it easier."

"Sounds great."

"It is." She smiled. "So, what did you do before you got the diagnosis?"

"What do you mean?" Confused Ephram looked at her.

"What hobbies did you have? Sports? No, you don't really look like a sports guy." She laughed.

"Thanks." Ephram tried to look offended but her warm-hearted manner made it hard for him to be angry. And he wasn't. "I don't have any real hobbies. I play the piano, but that's it."

"Are you any good?"

Ephram hesitated a moment. He hated to show off. "I can play."

"I always wanted to play an instrument." Cassie said wistfully.

"You can still learn one." Ephram replied.

"Yeah ..." A sad expression flickered through her eyes but after only a second she was smiling at him again. "So, do you have a girlfriend?"

"Yeah." Ephram said with a smile. "Her name is Amy. She's great. What about you?"

"Me? No, I have no one. I had a boyfriend, but we broke up when I got sick."

"Was the ..." Ephram hesitated a moment before he went on. "Was it because of the leukemia?"

"Yeah, he said he couldn't cope with it. Idiot." She smiled sadly. "I hope your Amy is better than that."

"She is. Like I said, she's great. She's really supportive in everything."

"That's good. That's really good. How long have you two been together?"

"Two months. But we know each other longer than that." He added quickly.

"You're on the same highschool?"

"Yeah. She was the first person I met when I got there." Ephram remembered smiling. He would never forget the moment he saw Amy for the first time. He had felt drawn to her immediately.

"Where are you from?"

"Everwood. But I lived in New York before that. We moved here about two years ago. And you?"

"Swanstown. That's even smaller than Everwood so you probably never hurt of it before." Cassie laughed. "So you're from New York, wow. You must find it really boring here."

"I did." Ephram admitted. "I wanted nothing more than to get back in the beginning. But ... things changed."

"Amy?"

"Yeah ... she's a good reason to stay." He smiled.

"Sounds like you two have a great relationship."

"We have."

"And what about your other friends?" Cassie asked curiously.

"There's just one. Bright. He's Amy's brother. He was a real jerk when I met him but ... things happened and now he's my best friend." Ephram had to grin at the memory of his first encounter with Bright Abbott. It had ended with a black eye for both of them.

"Things happened?"

"It's a long story." Ephram sighed.

"Good." Cassie said grinning. "We're going to spend a long time here together. This way we have something to talk about."

"Yeah ... is it okay if we talk about it some other time?" Ephram had started to feel sick. That and his headache from the irradiation made him feel tired and he didn't feel like talking much anymore.

"Sure." Cassie smiled at him sympathetically. She knew how he felt.

They didn't talk much more after that. Ephram was starting to feel worse as the medication went through the IV into his blood. He hadn't thought it would start so soon. He had thought he'd have more time. Now he just wanted to go home, crawl into his bed and get this day behind him.

When he was finally done with the chemotherapy, his father was waiting for him outside.

"Can we go home now or do I have to do more tests?" Ephram asked when he saw his father. He felt exhausted.

"No, we can go home. How do you feel?" Andy asked worried. His son looked pale and tired.

"Like I just had my first chemo. Can we go?"

"Yes, sure. Let's go." In an attempt to comfort his son, Andy put his arm around his shoulder. The fact that Ephram didn't pull away told him how bad he must feel.

XXXXXXX

When they returned home, Delia was already waiting for them anxiously.

"Hi, I have the ice cream." She said beaming after hugging her brother.

"Oh ..." The last thing Ephram wanted right now was to eat something, least of all ice cream. "Uhm, would it be okay if we eat that later? I'm really tired right now and ..." His voice trailed off and he looked uncomfortably at his sister. "I'm sorry."

"That's okay. It's still in the icebox anyway. We can eat it anytime." Delia said smiling.

Ephram let out a relived sigh. "Thanks. Uhm, I'm in my room then."

With a heavy heart Andy watched him going up the stairs. It was only the first day ... he had no idea how he was supposed to watch his son being in this pain for the next few weeks. Or months even.

XXXXXX

A few hours later Ephram woke up again, still feeling as bad as when he went to bed. When he slowly opened his eyes, he noticed the lights in his room were on ... He didn't remember turning them on as it hadn't been dark when he went to bed. He blinked a few times and turned around.

"Hi." Amy said smiling when she saw that Ephram was awake.

"Hi." Surprised he looked at her. "Since when are you here?"

She cleared her throat before she replied. "About an hour."

"You should have woken me." Ephram said as he pulled himself into a sitting position. He groaned when the nausea got worse as soon as he was up.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm ..." He took a few deep breaths before he continued. "I just feel a bit sick and have a headache. Not a big deal."

Amy swallowed and tried to ignore the bad feeling in her stomach. She forced herself to smile at him. "Your Dad has prepared something to eat. He told me to get you down once you're up."

The pure thought of eating something made Ephram's stomach churn. "Can't you just pretend I'm still asleep?"

"You need to eat something eventually."

"Yes, I know." He looked at her with a smirk. "Have you ever eaten something my Dad cooked?"

"No."

"Trust me, you don't want to try it."

"He can't be that bad, Ephram." Amy laughed.

Her laughter made his smile even brighter. He loved to hear her laugh.

"I guess we could pretend you're asleep long enough for his food to get cold and then order a pizza." Amy suggested. Seeing him smile made her heart swell with joy. He had the sweetest smile. "You think there is room for two in your bed?"

"I'm pretty sure there is." Smiling Ephram moved on the other side of the bed and Amy lay down next to him. They put their arms around each other and snuggled close together. Feeling content to have Amy next to him, Ephram closed his eyes again. "This is the perfect way to end this day." He mumbled, already half asleep again.

"Yes, it is." Amy said quietly. She was glad he had his eyes closed. This way he couldn't see the tears in her eyes.

TBC

**A.N.: Thank you all for your lovely reviews and thanks to everyone else who is reading this story. I hope you all had a good start into 2007:) **


	9. Chapter 9

"Look Ephram, we made it all ourselves." Delia called out happily when she saw her brother walking into the kitchen.

Startled Ephram stopped in his tracks. He stared at the lovingly set breakfast table. All his favorite food was there. "Wow, it looks great." Ephram said in surprise.

"It was all my idea." Delia beamed with joy. "And Dad helped."

"But it still tastes good. Don't worry." Andy laughed. "I didn't have to cook anything. The pancakes are from Nina."

"Nina made them? I already love them." Ephram replied smiling.

"Are you hungry?" Delia asked excitedly.

"I'm starving." Ephram lied and gave her a warm smile. Then he sat down next to her and took some of the food. He tried to ignore his nausea and concentrated on enjoying the breakfast.

"You don't have to eat all of it. We just thought we make as much as possible, so you can chose whatever you like." Andy told him sympathetically.

Ephram smiled at him gratefully. "So, what's the special occasion?"

"You really have to ask?" Andy looked at him intently. "You have your last irradiation today. The three weeks are finally over. And even though you still have a long way ahead of you, the first part is behind you. I think that's enough reason." He had spoken in an serious voice, but got lighter now. "Enjoy the breakfast. It'll be a while before I'm going through all this trouble again." He joked.

"And here I was thinking I would get this every day." Ephram laughed.

The three of them enjoyed the breakfast and fell into an easy banter. For the first time in weeks they were able to forget about the cancer for a moment. They joked and laughed and talked about every little good thing that came to their mind. But it didn't last very long. After a while Andy noticed how his son paled. He had stopped eating and was taking deep breathes, as he always did when he was starting to feel sick. He was still laughing with Delia, but instead of eating, he was just shifting the food around on his plate. Andy could see that Ephram was trying to hold up as long as Delia was still there. No matter how bad he felt, he always tried to protect her. Once again his heart swell with pride at his son. But it was also filled with sorrow.

"Delia, it's time. You don't want to miss your bus." He told his daughter.

"But I still have a few minutes." She objected. 

"No arguing today. You promised." He reminded her with a raised eyebrow. The truth was that he hadn't been too thrilled about her idea with the breakfast at first. He knew that Ephram never could eat much and that most of the time he felt worse afterwards. He didn't want to put him through this and disappoint Delia. But his daughter could be very persistent when she put her mind to it. 

"Okay, okay. Bye Ephram." She gave her brother a warm hug, grabbed her bag and left.

As soon as the door had closed behind her, Ephram jumped up and ran into the bathroom. Andy quickly followed him. As so often during the last three weeks he found his son kneeling in front of the toilet, emptying the contents of his stomach. Andy knelt down next to him and held him. There was nothing else he could do. He hated that.

After a few moments of convulsing, Ephram collapsed against the wall, breathing heavily. 

"Here." Andy handed him a glass of water. With shaky hands Ephram took it and took a few sips.

"Thanks." He said in a weak voice.

"You don't have to hide it all the time." Andy said quietly when he was convinced that Ephram was feeling better.

Confused Ephram looked at him.

"Delia. I know you want to protect her, but ..."

"Dad ..." Ephram interrupted him. "This is bad enough for her as it is. I don't want her to think that I ..." He stopped, unable to go on. He was afraid to say the words out loud. With sad eyes he looked at his father. "Not after what happened with Mom."

Andy couldn't really reply anything to that.

XXXXXXX

With closed eyes Ephram sat on his chair in the hospital, waiting for the chemo to be over. He wished he could lie down. He was feeling sick and his head hurt from the irradiation. At least that was over now. The last three weeks had been like living in hell for him. He hoped it would get better, now that he only had to come to the hospital for the chemo twice a week, but looking at Cassie, he didn't think so. She was "only" getting a chemo and she looked like a walking Dead. Once again he wondered how long it would take for him to look like that. Would one cycle be enough? Or would he need more like Cassie had?

He was glad he got to know her, despite the circumstances. Knowing her made it all easier somehow. He didn't know how he would have gone through the last weeks without her. He could talk to her about everything because he knew she would understand. He didn't have to be afraid to cause any pain when he told her the truth. With everyone else, he always tried to play it down. He didn't want his father, Delia or Amy to know how bad he was really feeling. He didn't want them to worry. But talking about it helped and he was grateful that he had Cassie for that. And she had such an easy way to talk about the leukemia that sometimes, for a short while at least, it didn't even seem so awful anymore.

Another wave of nausea hit him and pulled him back to reality. He closed his eyes again and let his head fall against the back of the chair. He swallowed down the bile in his throat and took some deep breathes. He just needed to get through this day, then he had four days free until the next chemo.

"I've got something for you."

Startled Ephram opened his eyes and saw Cassie, sitting in a wheelchair before him, holding a present at him. He looked from Cassie to the present and back to her in surprise.

"What did I do to deserve that?"

"Your three weeks are over. No more irradiation, no more headaches. At least not daily." She smiled at him sympathetically. "And if you're lucky you won't feel so nauseous ALL the time anymore. "

"Oh ... " Surprised Ephram looked at her. He hadn't thought she would remember. 

"Here." With a happy smile Cassie handed him the present. 

When Ephram opened it carefully – which wasn't very easy as he still had an IV in one arm – he let out a surprised gasp. "Cassie, where ... how ..."

"I was in a music store last week with my Mom ... which was a great change to my usual daily routine by the way ..." She beamed with joy." ... and I saw this CD and I remembered how you told me about this piano teacher from you and how he made you look for this on ebay and ... well ... I figured you might like it."

"It's amazing. God, Cassie, that must have cost a fortune. I mean, this is Art Tatum, I'm sure his CD's aren't very cheap. I know his LP's weren't."

"Don't worry. As I don't get out very often anymore, I was able to save a lot of money. I guess you can call me rich." She laughed.

"Thanks, Cassie, this is ... Thank you." He smiled at her gratefully.

She shrugged and smiled back at him. "It's no big deal, really. I gotta go. My Mom will be already waiting."

Ephram suddenly noticed how tired she looked. He immediately felt guilty for keeping her so long. He knew how she felt after a chemo. He already felt bad afterwards and she went through this a lot longer than he. "See you next week."

"Yeah." She waved at him a last time before she left.

Ephram watched her leaving the room and then looked down at the CD in his hands. He still couldn't believe she got him an Art Tatum CD. He couldn't wait to tell Amy about it. He was sure she would love it as well.

XXXXXXX

Hesitantly Amy stood in front of Ephram's door. It was getting more and more difficult for her to visit him. He looked worse every time she saw him. And as much as she tried not to, her thoughts kept going back to Colin more often with every passing day. And it hurt. It hurt so much to remember Colin and seeing Ephram like this. On some days it threatened to overwhelm her. Then she wasn't sure if she could go on like this. She hated herself for thinking this way.

Taking a deep breath, she put on her best smile and opened the door. When she stepped into the room, she saw Ephram sleeping on the bed, a quiet music she hadn't heard before playing in the background. She closed the door behind her and watched him for a moment. He looked frail. It had only been three weeks, but it was already clearly visible that he was sick. He had dark rings under his eyes and he looked more pale than usual. He had lost even more weight. Amy knew he was afraid that he might have to be admitted to the hospital because of that. And if he lost more weight, that was more than likely. Yesterday she had overheard a conversation between her father and Dr. Brown. He had been worried that Ephram couldn't keep much food in.

His condition was getting worse and that scared her. The treatment was supposed to help him, but it only made him weaker. If anything else should happen … what if he wasn't strong enough to beat that? She had done some research on the internet. A simple cold could be his death right now. 

She closed her eyes. She didn't want to see him like this anymore. She wanted him to be all right. When she opened her eyes again, he was still lying motionless on his bed, his steady breathing the only sign that he was still alive. That wasn't enough … she needed more than that.

A familiar feeling of despair spread through her. The only thing that had shown her that Colin had been alive had been his breathing and a monitor next to his bed, showing his heartbeat. It had nearly killed her to see him like this. She couldn't do this again. She needed more. She needed to be able to look at Ephram and tell just by that that he was all right. But he didn't look all right.

She startled when she saw Ephram stir in his sleep. She sat motionless next to him, unsure if she wanted him to wake up and talk to her or keep on sleeping so she didn't need to pretend that everything was okay.

When Ephram slowly opened his eyes, she had her answer. She would give anything to see his eyes look at her the way he did.

"Hi." She said quietly.

A small smile appeared on Ephram's lips. "Hi. I missed you."

"I missed you too." She smiled back at him. She hadn't been able to visit him yesterday.

When Ephram moved to the side, she crawled into the bed next to him. They had done that several times the last three weeks. After his treatment, Ephram usually was too tired and exhausted to do anything else. So they would just lay next to each other and give comfort to the other. They would talk for a while until Ephram fell asleep again. Amy was content to just be there for him. If there wouldn't be that feeling of despair that grew a little bit every time she saw him.

"I promised Delia to go the movies with her on Sunday. It's a kids movie but if you want to join us …" His voice trailed off and he looked at her hesitantly. It would be the first time he did anything else but stay at home or be at the hospital since he started the therapy. His first choice would have been going on a proper date with Amy, but he knew he wouldn't be able do to much before Sunday and Delia had been so excited. And he wanted to thank her for the breakfast this morning. Even though he hadn't been able to eat much and had thrown up right afterwards, he had loved it.

"Of course I'm coming with you. I love watching kids movies." Amy replied with a warm smile.

"It's a date then."

"It's a date."

XXXXXXX

Andy sat in the living room in silence. His children were already sleeping. He could let go now. For the next few hours he didn't need to be the strong father. Letting out a quiet sob, he put his head in his hands. He couldn't stop the tears anymore. Since returning home he had managed to put up a good façade … he figured Ephram had learned how to do that from him. He hadn't let anyone known how devastated he felt. His conversation with Dr. Barlington earlier the day went through his mind again and again. 

_"We haven't found a right bone mark donor yet. And the chemotherapy isn't working as good as we were hoping. We will have to increase the medication."_

"What happens when you don't find a donor in time? Or the higher dosage won't help?" Andy had asked anxiously.

"Do you really need me to answer you that?"  
  
Andy hadn't needed an answer. He knew what would happen. He pulled his hands into fists in anger.

"God, NO!" He called out despaired. "Don't take my son. Not him ... He's too young. I do everything, but don't take him away from me ..."

TBC


	10. Chapter 10

"We will prolong the chemotherapy for another three weeks. To give your body time to recover, we will pause for a few days, after that I want you to come here again twice a week." Dr. Barlington explained quietly.

Shocked Ephram listened to him. When he had come here, he had expected to get his last chemo. And now he would have to go through another three weeks? He had thought he was getting better, not worse. That feeling miserable the last six weeks had been good for something. And now he was told that it had been all for nothing?

Andy's heart shattered as he watched his son taking in this information. He had meant to tell him himself. He had wanted Ephram to be prepared for this news. But whenever he had thought it was the right time, he hadn't been able to say the words.

"Don't lose hope over this, Ephram." Dr. Barlington went on. "This is a step back, but it's not the end. Another cycle of chemotherapy isn't as bad as it sounds."

"Sure." Ephram pressed out.

"We'll get through this Ephram." Andy said, taking his son's hand in his.

"Yeah ..." Ephram said quietly. "So, uhm, I guess I should go. My last ... my next chemo is waiting."

XXXXXXX

Anxiously Ephram waited for Cassie. Her chemo was supposed to have started 20 minutes ago. She had never been late before. And he really needed to talk with her. She had been through this before. She knew how it felt to find out that your last chemo wasn't that ... that it was just another one in a long row of other chemotherapies. He would have to go through this for another three weeks and this time he didn't know for sure that after three weeks it would be over.

Cassie had already been through that three times. He needed to listen to her talk about how easy it all was. She always had this great way to make him believe it really was.

"Uhm, excuse me, Nurse Laurie?" He asked one of the nurses he saw almost every time he was here.

"Is everything all right, Ephram?"

"Oh yeah, yeah." He lied. Nothing was all right. "I was wondering where Cassie is? I thought she would be here today."

"Her appointment has been cancelled." Laurie told him in a sad voice. "She has been admitted to the hospital yesterday."

"What?" For the second time today Ephram felt as if the bottom of his world dropped out below him. "What happened?"

"I don't know. I'm sorry." Laurie thought for a moment. For the last three weeks she had watched these two young people forming a friendship during this hard time in their life. She had hoped it would end good for both of them. "I could find out which room she is in. If you want to visit her."

"That would be great, thanks." Ephram smiled at her gratefully.

XXXXXX

"Ready to go home, Ephram?" Andy tried to put up his best smile when he saw his son walking towards him.

"Uhm, actually, could we stay a while longer? I want to see Cassie."

"Cassie?" Confused Andy looked at his son.

"She was admitted to the hospital yesterday. I just want to make sure she's all right."

Andy felt as if he was kicked into the stomach. He didn't want Ephram to see her. He wanted to protect him from anything that might show him what could happen to people with leukemia. "I think it would be better if we go home right away. You always feel tired after your chemo. You should ..."

"I know how I feel, Dad." Ephram cut in sharply. "I just want to say hi."

"Sure you do." Andy gave in. How could he not. "Let's go."

A few minutes later Ephram stepped into Cassie's room. He tried to hide his shock at her appearance. She looked more frail than ever and there were all kind of monitors and tubes connected to her body.

"Ephram." Cassie called out surprised. Her voice sounded weak. "What are you doing here?"

"You think you can get out of our weekly meeting by staying here?" Ephram teased her. He pulled a chair next to her bed. He never could stand long after a chemo.

"I should have known it wouldn't work." She laughed.

The smile on Ephram's lips faded when he saw how much strength that laughter had cost her. "What happened?" He asked quietly.

She shrugged. "I collapsed ... again. Only this time I couldn't get up."

They fell silent for a while.

"How long do you have to stay here?" Ephram asked after a moment.

Again she shrugged. "Not long, I think."

"That's good."

"Yeah." Something sad flickered though her eyes, but it was gone so fast, Ephram wasn't sure if he had really seen it.

"You should go home. I know you want to lie down." Cassie told him.

"Why does everyone want me to lie down?" Ephram asked smiling.

She smiled back at him, the warm smile that had made him like her from the first moment. "We're just worried about you."

"You get well fast, okay?"

"I will." She took his hand before he could get up. "Ephram ... thank you."

"What for?"

"Just ... for everything. It ... helped ... having you around. It was good talking to you."

Ephram looked at her confused. Something was strange about her behavior, but he couldn't quite grasp what it was. "Well, you're lucky then. I'll be here for three more weeks."

"Oh Ephram, I'm sorry." She squeezed his hand. It was so weak, he hardly felt it. "Promise me you will beat this. Don't let the cancer win."

"I'll try." Ephram swallowed. "I should go now. I'll be back in a few days."

"Good bye, Ephram."

"Bye." He waved at her shortly and then stepped out into the corridor where his father was waiting for him.

"Hi. How is she doing?" Andy asked worried. He hoped it wasn't anything too serious.

"She's so weak." Ephram replied quietly.

"That's probably why she's here. I'm sure she'll be fine soon."

"You sure?"

Andy swallowed. Ephram looked at him as if he knew all the answers in the world. The last time he had seen that look in his son's eyes had been when he was still a little boy. "I'm sure." He assured him. And he hoped he was right.

XXXXXXX

Feeling relieved Amy walked up the stairs to Ephram's room. She had somehow survived the last six weeks without breaking down. And now it was finally over. No more chemo, no more visits to the hospital. Ephram would be fine. He would gain his strength back. And his appetite. She had already started planning all kind of dinners she would cook for him. She would make sure he would recover fast.

Things were finally getting better.

When she stepped into Ephram's room, she saw him sitting on his bed. That was already a good step in the right direction. Usually he would still be asleep when she came to see him after school.

"Hey Ephram. " She sat down next to him and they exchanged a short kiss.

"Hi."

"How was your last chemo?"

Ephram stayed silent and searched for the best words to tell her. "It wasn't." Was all he could come up with.

"What wasn't?" Amy asked confused.

"It wasn't my last chemo."

"But I thought ..."

"I need another three weeks. I have a few days off, but that's all." Ephram explained quietly.

"Wh-what does that mean?" Amy stammered.

"Dr. Barlington did a test the last time. The cancer isn't gone yet. There ... there are still too many leukima cells in my blood." Ephram did his best to talk in a steady voice. He didn't want her to see how scared he was. He just wanted her with him. Then he would get through this.

"I ..." Amy sat frozen next to Ephram, unable to say anything or even move. She tried to comprehend what he was telling her. The cancer wasn't gone. More chemo. More sickness. He would get even weaker ... "I can't do this." She whispered.

His world shattered. "What?" Ephram looked at her, afraid of what she might say next.

"I can't do this, Ephram. I ... I'm sorry." She got up and started pacing around the room. "The last few weeks were ... it was a nightmare. I keep seeing Colin and then you and ... I don't want to lose you, Ephram, but I can't see you suffer like this. I can't." Tears were rolling down her face when she stood before him.

Ephram sat frozen on the bed. This couldn't be true. "So, what ... what does that mean? Are you ..." He swallowed. "Are you breaking up?"

"I'm sorry, Ephram." She said between sobs.

Ephram got up from the bed. He couldn't just sit here while she ... His world started to spin. He had gotten up to quickly. He put his hand on the wall to keep his balance and took some deep breaths. His closed his eyes for a moment and when he opened them again, he saw Amy and he knew it was over.

"Every step of the way, huh? Yeah right." He hissed in a bitter voice.

"Ephram ..."

"Just get out." He turned away from her.

"I'm so sorry."

"So am I." He took another deep breath. "Get out!"

Amy looked at Ephram for a few moments. She didn't want to go but at the same time she knew she couldn't stay. She wiped her tears away and stepped out of the room.

When he heard the door close behind her, Ephram hit his fist against the wall. It hurt but he welcomed the pain. Anything was better than the pain he was feeling inside of him. He could feel the bile rise up in this throat. Tears started to roll down his cheeks. He wanted this to stop.

His legs suddenly felt weak and he sagged down on the floor. He grabbed the waste basket that stood nearby and started throwing up. This time he wasn't sure if it was because of the chemo.

TBC


	11. Chapter 11

"Dad, can you drive me to the hospital?"

"What? Why? What happened? Aren't you feeling well?" Deeply worried Andy looked at his son.

"I'm fine, I just like to … to visit Cassie." Ephram explained. He hoped his father would agree fast. He didn't feel like arguing about it for long.

"You just saw her yesterday, Ephram. I really think you should rest and …"

"Dad, please." 

There was something in Ephram's voice and in his eyes that made Andy say yes. He could see that his son was in pain and it wasn't just physical pain. Since Amy's visit yesterday he was different … even more distant than usual. He wondered if something had happened between them. "All right, let's go."

XXXXXXX

"Hi." Bright smiled as Delia opened the door for him. He stepped in without waiting for in invitation. He knew he didn't need one. "Is Ephram upstairs?"

Bright had visited Ephram at least twice a week during the last six weeks. He wasn't here as often as Amy, not because he didn't want to, but because Ephram simply didn't have the strength to put up with both Abbott children all the time. But he always made sure to visit his friend regularly.

"Ephram isn't here." Delia told him quietly. "Dad drove him to the hospital today."

"Is something wrong? I though he didn't have any more chemo this week." Bright asked worried. He tried not to show it, but every time he saw Ephram he was afraid something awful would happen. He had never been good in dealing with crisis, but he was determined not to let his friend down. He would make sure that Ephram knew he wasn't alone in this. Especially now.

"He wants to visit a friend there. At least that's what he said." Delia said quietly.

"Hey, you don't think he's lying to you, do you?"

"I don't know." She didn't look at Bright as she spoke.

"Uh, come on. Big brothers never lie to their little sisters." Bright said cheerfully.

"You never lied to Amy?" Delia asked skeptically.

"Oh, well, uhm … that's different." Bright stammered.

"Why?" 

"Because … because she's Amy." His smile faltered. "And right now I don't even like her very much."

"Why? Did she do something wrong?"

Bright looked at her in surprise, then he shook his head slightly. Of course Ephram hadn't told anyone yet. That was just like him, to keep everything bottled up. "Yes, she did." He replied quietly. "So, what do you want to do until we wait for Ephram to come home?"

Delia's face lightened up. "We could watch Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory."

"Ooh, that's one of my favorites." Bright grinned.

XXXXXXX

"I'll wait here." Andy told his son and pointed at a row of chairs standing in the corridor outside from Cassie's room.

"Okay."

"And don't stay too long."

"No." Ephram rolled his eyes. Just for once he wished his father would trust him enough to know when he needed to rest and when not. Putting up his best smile – he didn't want Cassie to know at the first sight that something was wrong - Ephram stepped into her room … and froze. The bed was empty and a nurse was busy cleaning the room.

"Uhm, excuse me ..." Ephram stammered.

The nurse looked up in surprise. "Oh hello, can I help you?"

He swallowed. "I, uhm, I'm looking for the girl who was in here."

A sad expression flickered over the nurses face. "I'm sorry. She died last night."

Ephram's chest tightened and for a moment he felt like he couldn't breathe. The nurse looked worried at his pale appearance. "Are you all right? Can I help you?"

"No ... no." Still staring at the empty bed, Ephram took a few steps backwards, back into the corridor.

When Andy saw his son coming out of the room again, he immediately got up again. "Well, you could have stayed a bit longer." He tried to joke. But when he saw his son his smile faded and a deep worry spread through him. "Ephram? What's wrong?"

Ephram felt the tears brimming in his eyes. He was trembling all over. He saw the worry in his father's eyes and suddenly he couldn't stand it. It was too much. "Cassie died." He whispered. He wasn't even aware he had spoken aloud.

"What?" Andy walked closer to his son. He hadn't understood him. "Ephram, what ..."

He would be dead too soon. That thought kept going through Ephram's mind and right now it was all he could think of. The chemo hadn't helped, just like it hadn't helped Cassie. They had found no donor yet, just like they had found no donor for Cassie. And now he would die just like she had. He saw his father walking towards him and took a few steps backwards, away from his father. "Don't ..." He mumbled and the tears started falling down his face. Then he raised his voice. He wanted to scream it all out. "Leave me alone! Amy was right, you should just leave. Stop worrying and forget all about it. It's all for nothing anyway. You'll just get hurt but it won't change anything and eventually you'll just forget all about it and ..."

"Ephram, what are you talking about?" Andy had reached his son and put his hand on his shoulder to calm him. "What is this about Amy? What happened?"

Ephram pulled away from his father. "Just leave me alone, Dad. It's not worth it." He was walking backwards as he spoke. He couldn't be with him right now. He had to get away. He turned around and ran down the corridor.

"Ephram ..." Helplessly Andy looked after his son. His first instinct was to run after him, but then he told himself that whatever had disturbed Ephram he might need a few moments for himself. And this was a hospital, he couldn't get far. He wasn't strong enough anyway to run for long. That though send a stab of pain through him and he quickly pushed it away. Then he stepped into Cassie's room to see what had happened ... when he saw the empty bed he immediately knew what had disturbed his son. He cursed himself. How could he have been so stupid? He ran out into the corridor again and started looking for his son.

XXXXXXX

Ephram didn't really know where he ran to or for how long, but eventually he found himself outside of the hospital. It was pouring with rain, but he didn't even notice it. He walked a few more steps when suddenly all his strength seemed to leave him. He sagged down on the nearest bench and put his head in his hands. He let the tears flow down freely now. He couldn't really do anything to stop them. He cried for Cassie, for himself, for his sister who would lose another close family member ... he cried and cried and he didn't think he could ever stop again.

He startled when he suddenly felt a hand on his shoulder. When he looked up he expected to meet his father's eyes ... instead he looked into the worried face of Madison Kellner.

"Ephram?" Madison was shocked at his appearance. He was soaked with rain, trembling all over, his face was pale, he had dark circles under his eyes and tears were still rolling down his face. And he looked so thin ... not at all like the Ephram she remembered. "Are you ... are you all right?"

Ephram was still so surprised, he didn't really now what to say. So he just nodded.

"What are you doing here?" She asked quietly. "Is everything all right with Delia? Your father?"

"They're all right." Ephram forced himself to say. "I ... I was just visiting a friend."

"I hope it's nothing serious."

Ephram swallowed down the lump in his throat. He didn't look at Madison as he spoke. "She's better now."

"That's good." Carefully Madison took Ephram's hand in hers and so forced him to look at her again. "I think we should go inside. It's freezing out here and you are trembling all over."

Her words took Ephram by surprise. He hadn't even noticed how cold it was. But now that she said it, he felt his wet clothes and noticed the shivers going through his body. "Yeah, maybe we should."

"Okay. There's a cafe over there. I guess we could both use something to get warm again." She smiled at him.

She didn't let go of his hand as she pulled him up from the bench and they quickly walked back into the hospital and into the cafe.

XXXXXXX

"Mhmm, this is good." Smiling Madison took another sip of her coffee. A caring waitress had given both of them a towel to get at least a bit more dry. Ephram was still trembling, but not as bad as before. He had stopped crying and looked calmer. But there was still something about him that worried her deeply. "So, who was this friend you visited here? Anyone I know?"

"No. I just met her ... a few weeks ago." It seemed like a lifetime to him.

Madison looked at him intently. She knew he was hiding something. There had to be a reason he was so agitated. He looked almost ... despaired. She took a deep breath. "So, how are things with you and Amy?"

A short, harsh laugh escaped Ephram's lips. "She ... we broke up yesterday."

"Oh ...I'm sorry." Madison looked at him sympathetically. So that was it. "I thought you would stay together forever."

"So did I."

The sad look in Ephram's eyes broke her heart. "What happened?"

Ephram closed his eyes for a moment. He didn't want to talk about it. "Can I tell you some either time?"

"Sure." She smiled at him warmly. "How is Delia doing?"

For the first time Ephram smiled at her. He was grateful for the change of topic. "She's good. She's still waiting for the horse Dad promised her."

That made Madison laugh. "I'm sure he'll keep his promise and she will get one when she's older."

"I think he has simply forgotten about it."

Madison looked at him sadly. "So your relationship still sucks?"

Ephram let out a small sigh. "No, it's getting better, I guess." He suddenly felt guilty for the way he had treated his father after finding out about Cassie. "Actually, today was the first time in weeks I yelled at him."

"What did you yell at him for?"

He shrugged. He wanted to tell her. Talking about it would help. But he couldn't get the words to leave his mouth. If he told her about Cassie she would want to know how he met her. Then he would have to tell her about his disease ... and he didn't want her to know. It felt actually good talking to someone who had no idea how sick he was. There was no pity in her eyes, no worry ... well, a bit worry, but only because she had found him crying and trembling sitting in the rain. He probably hadn't given the best first impression after not seeing her for so long.

"What were you doing here anyway?" He asked to change the topic.

Madison immediately knew what he was doing but she also knew how hard it was for him to talk about the relationship with his father, so she didn't push for an answer to her question. "I was just here for a courtesy visit. My boss had an accident and fall from the roof of his garage. He's got a broken leg and I figured it would make a good impression if I visited him. I'm planning to ask for a raise." She laughed.

"Good thinking visiting him then." Ephram replied smiling. He slung his arms around himself ... he was still freezing.

"You should get out of these wet clothes. You got anyone to drive you home?" Madison asked worried.

"Yes, my father is waiting for me ... somewhere here."

"Ah, it was one of those yelling and running away moments." Madison teased him.

"Kinda, yeah." Ephram looked uncomfortably at the coffee in front of him. He could feel the tears well up in his eyes again. He just couldn't stop thinking about Cassie. It hurt so much. He hadn't thought she would die. She had always been so positive about everything ... but when he thought about it, there had been signs. As if she had known she wouldn't get better again. She had never talked about the future, not once.

Madison could see that Ephram was close to tears again. She wondered what had happened ... she didn't think that it could just be about Amy. Sympathetically she took his hand in hers again. "If you want to talk about something, Ephram, I'm always here for you."

He looked up at her and quickly wiped away a single tear that had escaped his eyes. "Thanks, but ... I don't really want to talk about it right now. I just ... It feels good just talking about easy things, normal things, like you getting a raise or your boss falling from the roof. How did that happen anyway?"

Madison looked at him thoughtfully for a moment. The longer she talked to him, the more she got the feeling that something was seriously not right. But she would have to accept that he didn't want to talk about it. She knew Ephram well enough to know that pushing him to talk would never work. And if it helped him to hear stories about her life now, she would give him that. "I'm not sure how he did it. I think he slipped or something when he tried to get down the ladder again. He was cleaning the roof from leaves."

"Leaves?"

"Yes." Madison laughed. "I know it's stupid. As if the wind wouldn't take care of that eventually. But that's just my boss ... he always does the strangest things. That's what's making it so much fun working for him. It never gets boring."

"What kind of job is it?"

"I ..."

"Ephram!"

Startled both Madison and Ephram turned around and saw Andy walking towards them with big steps. "Where the hell have you been? I have been looking everywhere for you! Look at you, you're soaked to the bone. What have you been thinking? You know that you ..."

"Dad, I'm fine." Ephram quickly interrupted his father before he said too much. He had gotten up and grabbed his jacket. "I just ran into Madison and we talked. We can go home now if you want."

Andy looked at his son, anger and worry both sweeping through him at the same time. "All right." Taking a deep breath he turned to Madison. "It was nice seeing you again. You should come by sometime. Delia misses you."

Madison sensed that there was something going on between them. She glanced at Ephram. She wasn't sure if he would like her to come over. Sitting with your ex-girlfriend in a cafe was one thing, meeting her in your house was something completely different.

"You really should come." Ephram smiled at her. It didn't reach his eyes, but she was pretty sure he meant what he had said.

"I would love to." She replied with a warm smile.

TBC

**A.N.: First of all, thank you all for your wonderful reviews. They are really appreciated and make writing this story so much easier. It is always good to know that there are people who like what I write. Second, I had planned much more for this chapter, but it turned out to be too long. So I decided to split it in two parts. I hope I get the rest done before the weekend. Thank you all again for reading and reviewing. It means a lot to me. **


	12. Chapter 12

While driving home in silence, Andy cast worried looks at his son. He was wearing his father's jacket, but was still trembling from the cold. Andy prayed that he didn't get sick from being soaked by the rain. A cold was the last thing that Ephram could need right now. In his condition it could turn into a pneumonia in no time.

Andy knew he needed to talk to his son. He could see he was hurting. Cassie's death had hit him hard. And he wondered what had happened with Amy. He had an idea, but he hoped he was wrong. All he knew was that Ephram had already begun to shut him out again ... but he wasn't gonna let him do that this time.

"Ephram ..."

XXXXXXX

Bright and Delia had watched "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory" for about half an hour when Delia suddenly jumped up and turned off the TV.

"Hey, what are you doing?" Bright asked, surprised at her sudden behavior.

"We can't watch it." Delia said agitated. She had tears in her eyes.

"But ... you said ... you chose the movie. I thought you like Willy Wonka." Bright had no idea why Delia was so disturbed all of a sudden.

"I like the movie but I always get scared and Ephram never lets me watch it because of that." Delia replied between sobs, the tears rolling down her face.

Bright felt completely helpless now. He had never been good in dealing with crying girls. "Well, uhm, if you're afraid that he might get mad then ..."

"No, it's not that." She sniffed. "But ... I don't want him to think that I don't care about him, about what he says."

"What? Delia, why would he ever think that? Just because you are watching this movie ..."

"I want him to know that I'll always do what he says. Even if he's not here. I want him to know that when he ... when he is dead that ... that ..." She couldn't talk anymore as she was shook with sobs and crying even more.

Bright was immediately at her side and took her in his arms. He held her closely for a moment, than he pulled away a bit and forced her to look at him. "Delia, listen to me, Ephram isn't going to die. He's sick, yes. Very sick even, but that doesn't mean he's going to die."

"But they're not even fighting anymore. Dad and Ephram ... they always fight and since Ephram got sick they didn't argue once. They are just nice to each other and that is only because ... because they don't want to have any regrets afterwards. And I don't want that either."

"No, no, Delia, you got it all wrong, you .."

"No, I don't. Ephram always regretted that he didn't hug mom before he left that day. I heard him say so. And now they're doing everything to ..."

"No, Delia, stop." Bright took her face in his hands. "They don't fight because they finally realized that there are more important things than their little arguments every day. They're both two stubborn idiots, but even they know the real meaning of a family."

"The real meaning?"

"Yes." Bright smiled at her warmly and wiped away a tear rolling down her cheek. "In a family, you're always there for each other, no matter what. Ephram needed to get sick for them to realize that ... but he's not dying."

"You sure?" Delia said between sobs.

"Absolutely." Bright assured her.

At that moment the front door opened and they could hear Andy yelling. "Ephram wait, damn it!"

Sighing Bright looked at Delia. "See? I told you he's not dying."

XXXXXXX

Angrily Ephram stormed up the stairs, ignoring his father's shouts. Things had been difficult between them since they had left the hospital. His father had tried to talk to him, but Ephram hadn't been willing to. One thing had let to another and they ended up yelling at each other.

Ephram slammed his bedroom door behind him and sat down on the bed. He was still freezing and he knew he should get out of his wet clothes. And he knew he had been unfair to his father. He was angry and he had let it out at him. Right now he wanted to scream at the whole world. Talking to Madison had been good for as long as it lasted. She had actually managed that he forgot about his situation for a few precious moments. But then everything had come back crushing down on him and then his father had showed up and ... He jumped up from the bed, took a picture from his nightstand and threw it across the room with all might. It was a picture of him and Amy but he wasn't even aware of that.

It wasn't fair, none of it. He had been finally happy with Amy and then he had to get sick. And she left him. And Cassie had died. It all hurt so much, he felt like he would break inside any minute. Sobbing he sagged down on the floor.

XXXXXXX

Andy heard the shatter from above. He wanted nothing more than to go upstairs and take Ephram in his arms and hold him until his son would let it all out. But that had never went well with Ephram.

"Uh, hi, Dr. Brown."

"Bright." Surprised Andy looked at the visitor. "What are you doing here?"

"Uhm, I wanted to visit Ephram but I guess now isn't a good time. You want me to come back later or, uhm, talk to him?" Bright asked hesitantly.

Andy let out a deep sigh. "I'm sorry. No, I think Ephram needs some time alone right now. His ..." He swallowed. "His friend from the clinic died last night. He just found out and he has taken it pretty hard."

"Cassie is dead? Oh man, that's really ... and especially now ..."

"What do you mean?" Confused Andy looked at Bright. He didn't think that Cassie's death could have been any less hard for Ephram on any other day.

Bright hesitated a moment before he replied. He wasn't sure if he should tell Ephram's father about the break-up. But then he figured that he was helping Ephram more if he did. "Amy broke up with him last night."

Andy closed in eyes in despair. He didn't need Bright to say anything more.

"I figured he wouldn't tell you. That's just so like Ephram." Bright said quietly.

Andy nodded slowly and opened his eyes again. "Bright, could you do me a favor?"

"Sure, anything."

"Could you take Delia and get something to eat at Mama Joys or something? Just for an hour or two."

"No problem, Dr. Brown."

"Thanks." Andy managed to smile gratefully at Bright before he went up the stairs.

"So that's the bad thing Amy did? Why you don't like her right now?"

Startled Bright turned around and saw Delia standing under the door frame. "Yes." He replied quietly.

Delia took a deep breath. "You shouldn't be angry at her. She's your family. And you're always there for your family, right?"

"Right."

"But I can be angry at her."

"Yes, you can." Thoughtfully Bright looked at Delia. At this moment she didn't look like a little girl. With everything she had to go through already in her young life, she seemed to be growing up fast. And that made him sad. "Come on, let's do something fun." He put up his best grin and took her hand. He might not be able to do much for Ephram, but he would make sure that Delia wouldn't remember this time as the worst time of her life. He would make sure she would stay a child for as long as possible.

XXXXXXX

Slowly Andy opened the door to Ephram's room. He saw him sitting on the floor, leaning against the bed. He had his legs pulled up to his chest and his head was lying on his knees. He could see he was crying.

Andy walked the few steps to his son and knelt down next to him. Carefully he put his hand on Ephram's shoulder.

"Hey, son."

He could hear Ephram sniffing, but he didn't lift his head. He was still trembling.

"You should get out of these clothes. You're gonna get sick."

A harsh chuckle escaped Ephram's lips. "I am sick."

"Right." Andy nodded slowly. "And we don't want you to get worse."

"We?" Ephram slowly lifted his head and looked at his father. The look in his eyes broke Andy's heart. "It doesn't matter what I do, Dad. Six weeks of chemo didn't change a thing. And a change of clothes is supposed to make it better? I bet Cassie was always careful not to get sick, not to get a cold. A stupid visit to the music store was the highlight of this year for her because she hardly ever left the house. And what good did it do to her? She's dead." Ephram's voice broke and tears were rolling down his face again. "She's dead."

Andy had to use all his strength to stop his voice from trembling. "Don't give up now, Ephram. Cassie's death is horrible and I know how painful that is for you. But it doesn't mean the same thing will happen to you as well. You're strong, stronger than anyone I know. And you will be all right."

Ephram looked at his father with hopeless eyes. "You don't know that, Dad."

Andy let out a deep sigh. He wished he knew a way to reach his son. "Bright told me about Amy."

The pain that flickered through Ephram's eyes broke Andy's heart all over again. "Dad, don't ... I don't want to talk about it."

"I know. Believe me, I can understand that you only want to hide under your blanket right now and shut out the whole world. But you can't. Amy didn't leave you because she doesn't love you. She's afraid. After what happened to Colin ... she's just in no state to deal with this right now. But she won't think like that forever."

"Dad ..."

"You can't let that tear you down. Amy might not be there for you, but you're not alone. I'm here, always, and you have Delia. And Bright .. he seems like a very loyal friend as well. There's Nina, Edna, Irv, even Harold ... we all care for you and we all want you to get well again. You're not alone, Ephram, and that's why you can't give up. No matter how hard it might get." Andy swallowed. He hoped he had reached his son.

Ephram's lips trembled. He felt the tears brimming in his eyes again. He hated crying in front of his father. But he didn't have the strength to stop the tears from falling down. He didn't want to hide his fear anymore. "I'm scared, Dad."

"I know." Without thinking about it anymore, Andy pulled his son in a tight embrace. He held onto him closely. "I'm scared too but together we're going to get though this."

His heart leaped with joy when Ephram returned the embrace. They sat like that for a long time, Ephram silently crying on his father's shoulder. And Andy couldn't help but shed a few tears himself.

TBC

**A.N.: I really tried to get this chapter done before the weekend. But two birthdays (including my own), a cocktail night with friends and the Handball World Cup (Germany won ... yay!!!!!) kept me from writing. Thank you all for your patience, for reading and reviewing. It means a lot to me :)**


	13. Chapter 13

Nervously Madison stood in front of the door at the Brown's house. She had no idea what had made her come here. Sure, both Dr. Brown and Ephram had assured her they would like her to come by some day. But they probably hadn't meant right the next day after. But something about Ephram had left her deeply worried. She couldn't stop thinking about the way he had looked like when she had found him in front of the hospital, soaked by the rain. He had looked like a shadow of his former self, dark circles under his eyes, thin and frail. She had seen him crying … and Ephram wasn't someone who cried over nothing.

She knew something was wrong and after a sleepless night worrying about her ex-boyfriend, she had taken an old CD he had left at her apartment so long ago and decided to finally return it to him. Of course it was a lame excuse, but the best she could come up with at such short notice.

Taking a deep breath, she rang the door bell. She only had to wait a few moments before Delia opened the door. 

"Madison." A big smile appeared on the little girl's face and she beamed with joy.

"Hi Delia." Madison smiled at her. "It's so good to see you again. I missed you."

As she spoke the words, she realized that she really had missed her. She had missed all of them. The Browns had found a way into her heart fairly quickly and it seemed they were reluctant to give that place up ever again. She was glad she had decided to come.

"I missed you too, Madison." Happily to see her former babysitter again, Delia slung her arms around her and Madison gladly returned the hug.

"I'm looking for Ephram, actually. Uhm, he left this CD in my apartment and I just found it. I figured he might want to have it back, so, uhm …" Madison knew she was rambling, but somehow she couldn't stop herself. God, why was she so nervous about this?

"Ephram is upstairs. He … he's not feeling so well today." A sad expression flickered through Delia's eyes. The same expression she had seen in Dr. Brown's eyes as well yesterday.

"Well, I won't keep him long. I really just wanna give him this back." She held the CD up for Delia to see. "Can I go up?"

"Sure."

Madison smiled warmly at Delia one more time and then went up the stairs. She had just reached the first floor, when she heard strange noises coming from the bathroom. She hesitated at first, but then quickly walked the few steps to the bathroom. The door was open and she carefully peaked in. She saw Ephram kneeling on the floor, his head bend over the toilet. 

"Ephram!" She immediately was at his side, holding him at his shoulder and gently rubbing his back. She felt Ephram tense up when he noticed she was next to him, but he couldn't do or say anything at the moment as he was still throwing up.

After a few moments he leaned back against the wall, breathing heavily. He looked even worse than yesterday.

"Feeling better?" Madison asked sympathetically.

"Feel great." Ephram choked out. He glanced at the empty glass standing on the basin, but it looked too far away to reach for at the moment.

Madison followed his glance and when she saw the glass, she quickly got up and filled it with water, then handing it down to Ephram.

"Thanks." He said weakly after taking a few sips.

"No problem." She forced herself to smile at him. "So, what's wrong? You got the stomach flu or something?"

"Or something, yeah." Ephram didn't look at her as he spoke and took another big sip of water. "Sorry you had to see that."

"Don't worry about that. I'm glad I could help. You feel ready to get up again?"

Ephram inhaled deeply before he replied. "I think so, yeah."

Madison carefully helped him up and together they walked to his room. Ephram immediately sagged down on the bed. It took him a moment to catch his breath again … the short walk from the bathroom to his own room had seemed to take forever and he felt even more exhausted.

"What are you doing here?" He asked after a moment.

"Oh, uhm … I found this CD. It's yours, isn't it? I thought you might want to have it back." Madison stammered.

Ephram looked at her in surprise. "Thanks. Wow, I hadn't even thought about that anymore. Uhm, you can keep it if you want. I know how much you liked it."

"Really?" A relieved smile spread over Madison's face. She really loved that CD. She practically listened to it every day. "Sure you won't mind?"

"No, not at all." 

Ephram gave her a smile that never reached his eyes. That didn't go unnoticed by Madison. She looked at him thoughtfully for some time. "Ephram, what's wrong?"

"What do you mean?"

"I just found you throwing up over the toilet and you're acting as if nothing happened. And after yesterday … something's not right, I can see that."

Ephram cast his eyes to the floor. "I …" He shook his head slightly. He didn't want to talk about it. Not with her. Right now she was the only one who didn't look at him with pity or worry in the eyes. "Do you have to know? I mean … my life is kinda screwed right now and circling around this one, big thing and … yesterday … with you … it felt good not talking about it."

"Ephram …" Madison watched him intently. She could see he was hurting. And she wanted to help him. But she also knew that sometimes, when things were really bad, it was good to spend some time with a person who knew absolutely nothing about your problems. She had been at such a point in her life before, although she doubted that her problems at the time had been any similar to what Ephram was going through now. So she tried to forget about her own worries for the moment and be the friend Ephram needed right now. "Okay."

He smiled at her relieved and she was glad she had agreed. She still loved to see him smiling.

But when she took his hand in hers in an attempt to give at least some kind of comfort, her worry increased immensely when she noticed how hot his skin felt. "Ephram, you have a fever!"

"What?" He looked at her in surprise. She even thought to see a look of panic flicker through his eyes for a moment. "Oh, I didn't even notice that …" Nervously Ephram looked down at his hand that Madison was still holding. He remembered his father's words from this morning. telling him to stay in bed today because he didn't want him to risk getting a cold after what had happened yesterday. He had stayed in bed most of the time. He felt too tired to do much anyway. But apparently that hadn't helped.

"Maybe we should call your Dad."

"He's already getting some antibiotics from his practice. As a precaution, originally, but I guess … well, now I really need them." He gave her a small smile, but she could see he was scared.

She thought about his words. Why would Ephram need antibiotics as a precaution? And why did he look so frail as if he had a deathly disease? That last thought sent a shiver through her spine. Oh god … "Ephram?"

He swallowed. He could see what she was thinking. He closed his eyes. "Madison …"

"I want to be your friend, I really do. And I want to be there for you and respect your wishes and if you don't want to tell me what is going on here then that's okay. But …" She squeezed his hand and forced him to look at her. "I'm worried about you." She swallowed and straightened her spine. "Promise me that you will tell me when things get worse and I won't ask any more questions."

Ephram looked at her in surprise. Then a small smile appeared on his lips. "I promise."

"Good." She smiled at him warmly. "I'll leave you alone then for now. You should get back to bed and get some rest. You look like you could need it. I call you tomorrow, okay? Maybe we can get to the movies if you're feeling better."

"Sounds great." Ephram replied gratefully. It was the first time in weeks that it didn't bother him to be taken care of like that.

"Okay, bye then." She bend down and gave him a small kiss on his cheek. "And rest." 

With that she stepped out of the room. As soon as she had closed the door behind her, her smile faded. She was scared. Ephram wasn't all right and not knowing what was wrong with him made being strong for him very difficult. But she had promised him and she wouldn't ask any more questions. She would trust him to tell her when the time was right.

Madison had walked a few steps down the corridor, when she saw Dr. Brown coming around the corner. 

"Madison, hi." He greeted her smiling. "I didn't expect to see you so soon again. Not that I mind." He added quickly.

"Hi Dr. Brown. I just wanted to see after Ephram." Madison explained. "Uhm, he's not feeling so well. He was throwing up when I came here." She swallowed. She kinda felt like she was betraying Ephram. But she knew he liked to keep such things as his health from his father and she felt it was important that he knew. She wasn't prepared for his next words though.

"That's just another side effect of the chemo." Andy sighed, unaware that Madison didn't know about Ephram's disease.

"Ch-chemo?" She choked out. "Oh, uhm, yes, of course. I …" She swallowed. She didn't know what to say. She felt as if she had been kicked into the stomach and she couldn't breathe.

"Are you all right?" Andy asked worried.

"Yes. Yes, uhm, I … I just … I'm just worried … because of Ephram. But don't tell him." She added quickly.

"I won't. Don't worry." Andy smiled at her warmly. "Madison, I want to thank you. That you were there for Ephram yesterday, he needed that. Cassie's death has hit him hard."

Madison stared at Andy for a moment. Cassie's death? Her conversation with Ephram yesterday about his reason for being in the hospital rang through her mind.

_"What are you doing here? Is everything all right with Delia? Your father?"  
_

"_They're all right. I ... I was just visiting a friend."  
_

"_I hope it's nothing serious."  
_

"_She's better now."  
_

She's better now … Oh god, he had just learned about his friend's death when she had met him. Did she have cancer too? Did she suffer so much that death was a relieve for her? The only way to get better? Would it be like that for Ephram too? Was he really that sick? A wave of despair spread through her. She wasn't ready to lose Ephram … not like that. She clasped her hands together to stop them from trembling. Taking a deep breath, Madison tried to regain her composure and forced herself to smile at Andy. "Yes, I can imagine how hard that must have been for him. Uhm, I … I gotta go now. Bye."

Madison practically ran down the stairs and out of the house. She was able to hold back her tears until she was in her car and had driven around the corner. But then she couldn't stop them any longer. She parked the car at the roadside and started crying.

So that was it. That's why Ephram looked so frail. He had cancer. And from the look in his father's eyes, it was bad. Ephram's words about Amy came back to her mind. She had broken up with him. Because he was sick? A sudden anger welled up in her. It was just like Amy Abbott to turn her back on Ephram when he really needed her. Madison still remembered those first days when she had started to work for the Browns as a babysitter for Delia. She had seen how much Ephram loved Amy then. And as much as she had enjoyed being with him later, being the woman he loved … she had always known that a part of his heart always belonged to Amy. She wondered if that was still the case. For Ephram, she hoped it wasn't. He deserved better than a girlfriend who left him at the first sign of trouble.

Wiping her tears away, Madison decided that she wouldn't be like that. She and Ephram had decided to stay friends after their break-up and even if they didn't have much contact afterwards, they could still be that. She would be his friend no matter what. She wouldn't let him go through this alone.

XXXXXXX

The next day Madison called the Brown house as she had promised. She hoped that Ephram was feeling better by now.

"Hello?"

Madison heard a woman answer the phone at the Browns. Did she have the wrong number? Or did Andy Brown finally found a woman for himself, she thought smiling. "Uhm, hi, this is Madison. I'd like to talk with Ephram."

"Oh Madison, hi. This is Nina Sweeney. Uhm, Ephram isn't here."

"Do you know when he will be back?" Madison asked.

"Uhm, no …" Nina said hesitantly. Madison could hear her take a deep breath. "Ephram was admitted to the hospital this morning. His fever has gotten worse and … It looked really bad."

TBC


	14. Chapter 14

_A.N.: I'm sorry it took me so long to update this time. I actually had this chapter done at the weekend, but I hated it. It was just so bad and I decided to rewrite it which unfortunalty took a few more days. I'm not really 100 percent satisfied with this one either, but I guess it won't get any better now. I hope you like it anyway. _

_Thanks again to everyone for reading and especially for reviewing this story. It means a lot to me _:-)

* * *

„It's beautiful here." Amy said smiling as she snuggled closer to Ephram. "I'm glad we came here."

"I'm glad I'm here with you together." Ephram replied, his smile mirroring Amy's. He took a deep breath, inhaling the fresh air and enjoying the view below them. They were sitting on top of a mountain from where they could see every house in Everwood. The sun was shining, birds were cheeping … it was the perfect summer day. He was glad they had decided to come here. It was so peaceful and he wished he could stay here with Amy forever.

"I love you Ephram." Amy bend over to him and gave him a small kiss on the lips.

"I love you too." Ephram smiled and pulled her closer to him.

"Do you think we will always be this happy together?" She asked.

Ephram wanted to tell her that of course they would be, but at that moment he felt as if someone was watching them from behind. He turned around ... and he saw a woman standing only a few feet away from him, wearing a beautiful white dress, smiling at him, holding out her hand to him ...

"Mom?" He slowly got up and took a few steps in her direction. How was this possible? He turned back to Amy ... but she was gone. She had just disappeared. He couldn't explain why, but not seeing her behind him send a wave of pain through him. Why did she just leave? He turned back to his mother who still smiled at him ... the same warm, loving smile he remembered from his childhood. He started walking to her again ... only a few more steps and he could reach her hand.

XXXXXXX

With a start Ephram's eyes fluttered open and he met the concerned eyes of his father. He blinked a few times to get a clear vision … his dream still clear in his mind.

"Dad?" He croaked. He was still surprised by how strange his voice sounded. Ever since he woke up in the hospital, he felt more weak than he ever thought was possible. He knew he was sick and that he needed to fight to beat this. But it was hard finding the strength to do so. He thought back to his dream ... he wondered what would have happened if he had grasped his mother's hand. Would he be with her now? He closed his eyes again … it would be so easy to just give in.

"Hey son. Good to see you awake." Andy said quickly when he saw his son's eyelids closing again. He didn't want him to fall back asleep. Not so soon … he just needed a few moments with him. Talk to him, hear his voice … just knowing that his son was still with him. A smile crept on his lips when he saw Ephram's eyes open again.

Ephram did his best to return the smile. Giving in wasn't an option. "How's Delia?"

Andy had to smile a bit more at his son's concern for his little sister. Always the worried big brother ... only now he was the one they all were worrying about. "She's fine. Nina is with her right now. They both miss you."

"Can she come visit me here?" Ephram asked in a small voice. He would never admit it, but he was afraid he might never see his sister again.

"Of course she can. Anytime." Andy assured him, swallowing down the lump in his throat. It killed him seeing his son like this. So weak and frail ... the only indication that he was still with him while he had been sleeping were his way too shallow breaths and the beeping heart monitor next to his bed. It wasn't enough ...

"Good." Ephram whispered, relief shining in his eyes.

Andy tried not to interpret too much into the look in his son's eyes. Ephram just missed his sister. But since watching his son break down after Cassie's death and the break up with Amy Andy was afraid that he was losing hope. That he would just give up. He prayed every day to find a way to stop Ephram from slipping away from him.

"Madison was here a few hours ago. She wanted to say hi." He said, forcing his voice to sound more light than he felt.

"I'm sorry I missed her. You should have woken me, Dad." Ephram shot his father a slightly disapproving look. Although he had to admit that he probably wouldn't have woken up even if his father had tried. He was just so damn tired all the time.

"She said she would come back later." Andy told him. He watched his son for a moment, thinking of all the things he wanted to tell him. How much longer could he risk to wait? He hated to think like that, but ... there were so many things he never had said to Julia, things he had meant to tell her for so long, but never had found the right time to do so. He had waited too long with her, he didn't want to make the same mistake with his son. Taking a deep breath he prepared himself to say the words he had wanted to say for so long now.

"Ephram ..."

At that moment the door opened and Madison stepped in. "Hi." She smiled, happy to see Ephram awake.

"Hey." Ephram waved at her weakly, putting on his best smile. He was as happy to see her.

Andy did his best to not show his disappointment. "I better leave you two alone. I'll come back later." He gently squeezed his son's shoulder before he got up. It took all his willpower to walk away from him and leave the room. He hated letting Ephram out of his sight. But he wouldn't be alone and he needed to check on Delia, make sure she was all right. He knew she was as scared as he was.

Madison took the chair Andy had just vacated and gently took Ephram's hand in hers. "You gave us quite a scare here."

"Ah, I was bored so I thought I might try something new." Ephram said with a small grin, his words followed by a short coughing fit.

Madison could see how much strength the coughing took from Ephram and she did her best not to let him see how worried she was. No, not worried ... deeply scared. "Something new, huh? Next time you're bored, go to the movies or something."

"Huh, if only you had suggested that earlier." Ephram smirked.

Madison shook her head at his grin. Only Ephram could make jokes like that while lying dangerously sick in a hospital.

"There's a bright side to this though." Ephram pointed out.

"A bright side?" Madison asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah, the Doc said when I get released I get a whole week off." Ephram said in a voice that sounded too weak for Madison. "No hospital, no tests, no chemo ..."

"Sounds great." Madison replied smiling. She had her doubts though that he would be released any time soon, but his enthusiasm, no matter how weak and frail he looked, was infectious. "And what do you want to do in this week? Any special wishes?"

Ephram thought about that for a moment. "Europe." He finally said. "I always wanted to go to Europe."

"Europe?" Madison laughed

"Yeah, I get a whole week after all. Enough time to see all the great places."

"And where exactly would you go?"

"London at first. I want to see Westminster Abbey, Buckingham Palace and walk through the Tower. Where else do you get the chance to see a place where kings got hanged." He coughed again and took some deep breaths, but his grin never left his face.

His words made her laugh despite the situation.

"And I want to see Paris at night from the Eiffel Tower and make a boat tour over the Seine. I want to ride in a coach through Vienna, walk over the bridges in Prague, drive in a gondola through Venice, have a picnic on the Spanish Steps in Rome and listen to the organ in the Cathedral in Barcelona." He was breathing heavily when he was finished, but for a second his eyes were beaming with joy as if he really would only have to jump on the next plane to do all this.

Madison listened to him with tears in her eyes. "That's a lot of things to do for just one week."

"Yeah." Ephram said quietly, looking wistfully out of the window. The joy in his eyes was almost gone, as if he had just remembered that he might never get the chance to do all these things.

"And who do you want to do all this with?" Madison asked after a moment, holding her breath.

When Ephram looked back at her with this sad expression in his eyes, Madison didn't need an answer. "You still love her, don't you?"

Ephram swallowed and nodded slightly. And Madison despised Amy Abbot more than ever at this moment.

XXXXXXX

Anxiously Amy sat in the living room, waiting for her father to come home. She knew he was at the clinic today and she was sure he would stop by to see Ephram. She couldn't wait to find out how he was doing. When Bright had told her that he had been admitted to hospital, she had felt as if her world had just stopped. She had been surprised by her own reaction. That was exactly what she had been afraid off, she had almost expected it to happen. That Ephram would get worse, that she had to see him in hospital, slowly dying …

She closed her eyes to shake off that image. Ephram wasn't dying, at least not yet. He had pneumonia, that was bad, but it wasn't the end. He would get the right medication and he would get better. Then he could go on with his treatment and soon things would be back to normal.

Only that then she wouldn't be Ephram's girlfriend anymore and he would hate her. Forever. She had left him. The one time Ephram had needed her, she had turned her back on him. He had always been there for her, from the beginning. And no matter how hard it had been for him, how much it had hurt him, how much she had hurt him by staying with Colin, he had never left her. He had stick with her until the end.

He had always been stronger than she ever would be.

When she heart the front door open and close, she jumped up from the couch and ran into the floor.

"Dad."

"Amy." Harold nodded at his daughter and with a calmness that drove Amy crazy, he hung up his coat.

"Well?"

"Well what?" Harold looked at her with a raised eyebrow. Of course he knew exactly what she wanted, but it couldn't hurt getting her to ask the question. It was important that she did.

Amy swallowed and looked hesitantly at her father. She felt uncomfortable asking about Ephram … it was her who had broken up with him after all. She felt she didn't have the right to ask anymore. But when it looked that her father wouldn't tell her anything unless she asked for it specifically, she shook that feeling off. She couldn't wait any longer. "How is Ephram?"

A small smile crept on Harold's lips. He knew she would ask. "He's still the same. I talked a few words with him today. He's doing his best to fight this."

"So his condition hasn't gotten worse? That's good right?"

"Yes, that … that's good." Harold replied hesitantly, his smile fading. He didn't want to get his daughter's hopes up, but he didn't want to crush her either. There really wasn't much he could say … Ephram's condition hadn't gotten any worse, but it hadn't gotten better either. He was getting all the necessary medications, but so far they hadn't shown the effect they all had been hoping for. They could really do nothing but wait and pray that Ephram was strong enough to get through this.

Amy smiled at her father relieved and sat down on the couch again, hoping that Ephram was already on the way of recovery. She wanted to go to him, see it for herself, but there was no way he would want to see her. Not after what she did. And she still couldn't promise him that she would be with him until the end. Or could she?

Harold watched his daughter silently for a moment. After she had broken up with Ephram, he had been disappointed in her. He hadn't raised her like that. But then he had seen her practically breaking down in front of him ... and he hadn't been able to do anything but hold her in his arms while she cried. His heart had broken for her then. She still loved Ephram, Harold knew that, but staying with him had been simply too much for her. And knowing that she had left him when he needed her most was slowly killing her.

He hoped – for both of them – that she would find the strength to go back to Ephram. Should he die before they talked … then Amy would never forgive herself. This would haunt her forever.

TBC


	15. Chapter 15

Silently Madison and Bright sat on both sides of Ephram's bed. Bright wasn't sure how much time had passed since he had come here. Ephram hadn't woken up once during the time and he only had shared a few quiet words with Madison. Neither of them dared to talk much. They were both afraid to wake up Ephram. He needed the rest. Though Bright wasn't sure if Ephram would have woken up even if they had screamed at each other. He was seldom awake now. The last three times Bright had visited him here, Ephram had been awake once and then only for a couple of minutes. They had exchanged a few words before he had fallen asleep again.

A few words, that was all. And Bright was starting to fear that those words might have been the last words he might have spoken to his friend. He was angry at himself because those words hadn't meant anything. He hadn't said anything important, just some casual, nonsense talk to cheer Ephram up. It had worked, Ephram had smiled at him and according to his father he didn't do that very often anymore unless his little sister was around. Always the big brother he wouldn't show her how weak he really was and he kept putting up a brave façade. At least when he was awake.

Bright swallowed and looked up from his friend to meet Madison's eyes … she looked as scared as he felt. He wanted to say something to take that fear away from her because he knew that Ephram would want him to do that. If he'd be awake, he would do it himself, but he wasn't, so Bright would have to do it for him. And he would, if he'd only knew how.

"He said he wanted to go to Europe." Madison said quietly.

Bright nearly jumped out of his chair when her voice broke the silence between them. "Huh?"

"A few days ago. He said the doctor told him when he gets released then he wouldn't have to come back to the hospital for a whole week. Ephram said he would take that chance and go to Europe, see all the great places." With a small smile on her lips Madison looked at Ephram, watching his chest raise and fall and listening to his shallow breaths, all signs that he was still with them.

"Sounds exactly like Ephram." Bright replied, also smiling now. He hadn't felt like it, but hell, even when he was asleep Ephram could make them smile.

_When_ he gets released, she had said. Not if, when. They still refused to say out loud that Ephram might never get released again.

"I would have chosen Vegas." Bright smirked. "What better place to spend a whole week with nothing else to do."

"Vegas sounds like the right place to go." She replied, her smile widening a bit more and Bright was proud that he had made her smile like that. He could at least do that for his friend.

They fell silent again and both went back to watch over Ephram in his sleep, making sure he was still comfortable.

When Madison spoke up again, Bright got startled once more. It had become too easy to get used to the silence in this room.

"He wanted to go with Amy."

"What?"

"Ephram … he said he wanted to go to Europe with Amy." Madison said quietly, her voice slightly trembling.

For a moment, Bright wondered if she still had feelings for Ephram. Would it have been easier for her if he had wanted to go to Europe with her? "He said that?"

"No, but I could see it in his eyes. He still loves her. After everything …" Her voice trailed off and her eyes fell back on Ephram, as if blaming him for feeling this way, but only for a second because it wasn't right to blame Ephram now. He couldn't defend himself and he couldn't change the way he felt about Amy.

"He was lost from the first day he met her." Bright sighed, remembered those first few weeks after Ephram had come to Everwood. He had made it his job to make his life a living hell and keep him away from Amy. Not to protect him from his sister, that thought had never crossed his mind. But because of Colin. He had been Amy's boyfriend at the time and as he hadn't been there to claim her, Bright had done that for him. He had acted like a jerk at the time and it still amazed him that after everything he and Ephram had become friends. And even now, after Amy had broken up with him … had turned her back on him … they still were friends. Ephram had never said an angry word against him over any of it.

He had only known Ephram for a short time, but already their friendship meant more to him than the year-long friendship with Colin. They had grown up together, yes, but Colin had never been the kind of friend you go to when you feel bad. They had fun together, lots of fun, but when Bright had had problems, he had kept them to himself.

It was different with Ephram. He knew he could count on him. Ephram had been there for him and Amy before and after Colin's death, something Bright didn't think he would have been able to do.

He wanted to do something for Ephram to pay him back, something more than sitting next to his bed for hours, watching over him, or trying to make his ex-girlfriend smile. Because that wasn't helping Ephram, not really.

_He still loves her. _

Madison's words ringing in his ears, Bright suddenly knew what he could do to help Ephram.

XXXXXXX

When Bright stepped into the living room in his parents' house he found his sister sitting on the couch, staring at the TV. Recently she spend a lot of her time there, just sitting in front of the TV and not even really seeing what was on.

"Hey, what are you watching?" He asked and sat down next to her.

"Uh, just this show …" She said vaguely, waving at the TV.

It was the same answer he got every time.

"Did you see Ephram today?" She asked, her voice calm, but her eyes showing her desperate need of news about him.

"Yeah, I just come from him."

"How is he? Was he awake? Did you talk to him?"

The despair was now also evident in her voice and once again Bright wished he could force some sense into her. She wouldn't have to wait for him or his Dad to tell her about Ephram if she would just went to see him herself.

He took a deep breath and forced his voice to sound calm. He would never get through to her if he started to get impatient. Although staying patient never was easy when it came to his sister.

"No, I didn't get a chance to talk to him. He was asleep all the time." He responded to Amy's question.

"Oh …" She looked disappointed, almost as if she had been hoping for some miracle news that his condition had improved over night.

"He's asleep most of the time. I hardly spoke three words with him this week." He chuckled. "Although he always manages to wake up whenever Delia shows up and he stays awake most of the time she's there. I don't know how he does it … somehow his big brother mode kicks in whenever she's around him. I think she's giving him a lot of strength to get through this."

It suddenly occurred to him that Amy was his little sister as well … he wondered if it was aforesaid big brother mode that had made him acting like an idiot in front of Ephram those first months after he had moved to Everwood. Had he been more protecting Amy than defending Colin?

"That's Ephram." Amy smiled. "He would go to hell and back for his little sister."

"So would I." Bright said quietly. He had no idea what had made him say that. He didn't talk like that with his sister. Only girls talked about their feelings, but Bright Abbot never did. But somehow it suddenly was important to him that she knew he was there for her, watching out for her, no matter what she did or how angry he was with her … for no other reason but because she was his little sister.

Amy looked up at her brother in surprise. "Bright …"

"Amy, I love you, but you're acting like an idiot." Bright interrupted her quickly. He had told her how he felt, he didn't need to talk more about it.

"What?" Confused Amy shook her head. First Bright told her he would do anything for her and in the next moment he called her an idiot? She would never understand him.

"You need to go to him and talk to him before it is too late." Bright swallowed. He practically had to force himself to say the last words. They sounded too much like "if" … if he gets better, if he gets released. He didn't like using the word "if" when it came to Ephram. It was always "when" … it had to be "when" because when it changed into "if" then he would have to face the reality that he might lose his best friend. And he wasn't ready for that yet.

But he had to make Amy understand that she couldn't wait much longer.

"I can't …" Amy pressed out, tears brimming in her eyes. Nowadays it didn't take much to get her crying, although she almost never did it in front of someone else. Bright only knew she was crying because he could see it in her face afterwards and sometimes he had heard her through the wall. But he had never went to her … now he wished he had.

"He needs you." He said and he hoped it was enough.

"Is he getting worse?" Her voice sounded so small, it broke his heart. God, his little sister was hurting, a lot, and he had ignored it all this time. A great big brother he was …

"Well, he's not getting any better. His father said they finally found a donor, but he needs to get through chemo first before the transplantation and he's too weak for that right now. So he needs all the help he can get." Bright pointed out and hoped she would understand.

Amy trembled visibly and a single tear run down her face. "He hates me. How could I possible help him?" She asked, despair and fear clearly audible in her voice.

"He doesn't hate you, Amy. He still loves you. He said so himself." Bright replied, his own voice sounding shaken now. He could feel tears welling up in his eyes … god, what was wrong with him? Bright Abbott never cried.

"What?" Amy looked up at him, confusion and a small trace of hope shining in her eyes.

"He wants to go to Europe with you, Amy. I think that says it all."

Amy was utterly lost now. "What?"

"He loves you, Amy. And he needs you. What more do you need? It's killing you not seeing him. It's obviously worse for you not to be with him than seeing him getting weaker every day. So what's stopping you? Ephram won't push you away. It might take some time before he trusts you again completely, but knowing Ephram he's gonna fall for you the minute you step into his room."

Amy listened to her brother and for the first time she started to believe that maybe she hadn't lost everything with her decision to turn away from Ephram. Maybe he could really forgive her … even if he wouldn't right away, something she wouldn't even dare to expect, she could prove to him that she would never leave him like that again. She would prove to him that she was worthy being his friend … and maybe, someday, even his girlfriend.

"Are you gonna come with me?" She asked quietly, her voice sounding small.

And being in full protective big brother mode, Bright couldn't say anything but "Sure" and wrap his arms around her, hugging her tightly … something he hadn't done in a long time.

When Harold stepped into his living room, he saw his two children tightly embraced, Amy crying on her older brother's shoulder and Bright holding her close to him, shedding his own tears. At this moment he felt very proud of his children … no matter how much they argued most of the time, when it mattered, they were there for each other.

And he hoped that Bright might actually be able to help his sister heal.

TBC


	16. Chapter 16

Anxiously Andy sat in the uncomfortable hospital chair, trying to get as comfortable as possible and ignoring the pain in his back – because getting comfortable in one of these chairs really just wasn't possible – and all the while holding his son's hand tightly in his own, never letting go. He had been sitting here for hours, waiting for Ephram to wake up. He was afraid to let go, to lose this only connection he had with his son while he was sleeping.

He longed to see Ephram awake, to talk to him. They had never talked very much, argued, yes, but never _really_ talked, and now that it was almost impossible to catch his son awake, he missed their conversations, no matter how short and painful they might be. He would give his right arm if Ephram would start yelling at him right now. Everything was better than just watching him lying asleep or struggling to stay awake the few times he did woke up during the day.

Andy found himself talking to his sleeping son more and more often. There wasn't much to tell and it usually was more rambling than actual talking, but Andy was convinced that hearing his father's voice made Ephram sleep calmer. He had noticed his son was having nightmares … or better strange dreams because the dreams themselves never were scary, but they bothered his son ... bothered him so much that he had actually been willing to talk about them with his father. And that alone made Andy worry even more than the dreams themselves.

Ephram was dreaming about his mother. That alone shouldn't worry him, but the fact that the dreams always were about his mother calling her son to come with her scared the hell out of him. Andy wasn't a very religious man and neither was Ephram, but both silently wondered if there was any meaning behind this dreams.

Was Julia really calling for their son? Did she want to take him with her? Would Ephram want to go with her?

Andy didn't doubt that his son wanted to live, but sometimes ... sometimes he just wasn't sure how much longer Ephram was willing to fight. He had seen him breaking down once before and now every day he was afraid it would happen again.

He didn't know what he should do if he'd lose Ephram. He knew he had to go on somehow … he still had Delia. But the thought alone that Ephram might die filled him with so much despair that he felt he couldn't breathe.

But he couldn't think like that because that would only lead to him breaking down … and that was just not a possibility right now.

Taking a deep breath and concentrating on his son's even breathing, a clear sign that he was still with him, Andy pushed those thoughts out of his mind and focused on the positive news he had learned just a short while ago.

Trying to make his voice sound hopeful, he continued talking to his son.

„This is a good day, Ephram. We found a donor for the bone mark transplantation, your fever is down and Barlington said you're on your way to recovery as far as the pneumonia is concerned. You did good, son. You didn't give up."

Andy paused for a moment and swallowed down the lump in his throat. Ephram had beaten the pneumonia but it had cost him most of his strength. His doctor refused to start with the chemo again until Ephram was stronger and even though Andy understood his reasoning, he was desperate for his son to continue his treatment. He wanted to take his son home, he wanted him healthy again and strong and alive. Ephram had always been full of life, he had always thrown all his energy into achieving his goals, be it becoming the world's best piano player or being the angry son who hated his father for letting down his family. Ephram never did anything the half way. He had always been full of energy and seeing him now, just lying in this hospital bed, hardly ever awake hurt more than Andy was willing to admit.

"Now we just need to kill those freaking cancer cells and you will be fine." Andy continued in a steady voice and he tried desperately not to think of the cancer spreading through his son's body, increasing itself with every day that they weren't fighting it.

"You're cursing, Dad? Don't let Delia hear you."

Hearing Ephram's weak voice, Andy's head jerked up and he met his son's open eyes. With joy and relief he noticed that the feverish and glassy look in his eyes was gone. Instead they looked clear and more aware than they had in days.

"Hey." Andy smiled at him. "You decided to join the world of the waking people for a change?"

"Yeah, dreamland is starting to get boring." Ephram replied with a small grin. "Just me and this old man's voice that never seems to stop talking."

"Old, huh? You wait until you get home." Andy threatened his son but the fact that they both waited eagerly for Ephram to finally get home took away some of the teasing he had meant.

"So, Doc says the pneumonia is gone?" Ephram asked quietly.

"Yes, your lungs look good and as soon as you're a bit stronger we will continue the chemo."

"Can I go home then?"

Andy swallowed, not wanting to destroy the little hope that shone in his son's eyes. "Not yet. Dr. Barlington wants to keep you hear for the rest of the treatment. It's only a precaution … we don't want a repeat of what happened with the pneumonia."

"I promise I don't run out in the rain and get soaked." Ephram replied with a half smile which was betrayed by his shaking voice. By now Ephram would promise his soul if it meant he could go home.

"It will only be for a little while longer, Ephram. You'll have to be patient. We all have to." He added.

Ephram nodded and took a deep breath … which for the first time in days wasn't followed by a coughing fit. He really was healthy … at least as far as the pneumonia was concerned. "So, how is Delia?"

"Good. She's on a class excursion today. They are going to the zoo in Denver. She's probably going to tell you everything about it tomorrow. She's really excited … and she took the camera so expect pictures to come with her story."

"Great." Ephram smiled. He'd never thought that he would actually be excited about getting to hear a zoo excursion report – with pictures – from his little sister … but these days he took what he could get.

He talked a bit more with his father until exhaustion claimed him again and his eyes fell close. Andy watched him falling asleep again and the familiar worry spread through him. He tried to take comfort in the fact that this conversation had lasted considerably longer than any conversation he had had with Ephram during the last week. His son was getting stronger … slowly, but steady, a little bit with every day. He had to take hope in that ... Ephram was getting stronger and he would get through this.

He held onto that thought until he heard Ephram mumble in his sleep. His voice was almost inaudible, but there was one word Andy understood clearly – Ephram was calling for his mother ... he was dreaming of her again.

XXXXXXX

Hesitantly Amy stood in front of Ephram's room, her hand already around the doorknob, but unable to pull the door open. When she had talked to Bright last night, it had all made perfect sense ... and it had sounded so easy. She would go see Ephram, talk to him, explain why she did what she did, apologize and beg for his forgiveness. She would give him the time he needed and she would stay by his side.

And now here she was ... only a thin wall separating her from the man she loved and she stood frozen in front of the door. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't go in.

She felt shivers running down her spine and then spreading through her body ... god, she couldn't remember a time she had ever been so scared of anything. She hadn't felt anywhere close to this before Colin's operation ... or before he went home or when she had noticed how sick he really was ... or when he had died ...

"Just go in, he's probably asleep, but if you wait a while you might get lucky and he wakes up."

Startled Amy let go of the doorknob and turned around, meeting the smiling eyes of a young nurse.

"He's a sweet kid." The nurse went on, a warm smile on her lips. "I'm glad he has good friends who stand by him. You always need friends in times like these."

The nurse's words brought back memories of all the times Ephram had been her friend ... no matter how much it had hurt him in the process. Remembering how comforting his presence always had been for her, how relieved she had been every time she had seen him – whether she had wanted to admit that at the time or not -, Amy suddenly felt herself relax. The shivers stopped and a calm spread through her she hadn't felt for so long.

It really was as easy as that. All you need was friends.

It didn't matter if Ephram would forgive her. It didn't matter if they would get back together. It didn't matter if he would hate her forever.

The only thing that mattered was that Amy would help him through this ... be his friend … and so help her god, no matter how much he lashed out against her, no matter how often he would push her away, no matter how more sick he might get ... she wouldn't turn away again. Never again.

Because all that really mattered was that she loved Ephram. And she knew now that she couldn't be without him. She had felt miserable all this time without him ... and just being so close to him now made her feel better.

She smiled warmly at the nurse. "You're right. Thank you."

The nurse looked at her slightly confused, not sure why the young woman was thanking her, but before she could ask, Amy opened the door to Ephram's room and stepped inside.

The moment her eyes fell on Ephram, she froze. She was shocked how frail and weak he looked, so much worse than when she had seen him the last time. As if he was almost gone already.

For a moment … just a short moment she wanted to turn around and run. But she didn't and the moment passed and she was still here.

She focused her eyes on Ephram, taking everything in she saw in front of her. His pale skin, the small breaths, his closed eyes. She swallowed and tried to see past that … tried to imagine Ephram awake, looking at her, smiling at her, laughing at her … and she felt the calm return to her.

Her glance shifted from Ephram to his father who sat beside him, holding his hand.

"Hello, Dr. Brown." She said quietly, her voice slightly shaking. She didn't feel like running away anymore, but she wasn't sure if Andy wouldn't chase her out of the room the second he became aware of her presence.

Andy looked up in surprise. Amy Abbott was about the last person he had expected to see here. He eyed her intently for a long moment, then he spoke in a calm, but determined voice. "If you're not 100 percent sure that you can go through with this, turn around and leave. I won't let you hurt him again."

"I'm won't leave." Amy replied, her voice as determined as his. She was proud that she wasn't shaking, because really … the way Andy Brown looked at her scared the hell out of her.

Andy kept his intent glare at her for a moment longer, then he nodded slowly and stood up from the chair. "Good."

He swallowed and forced himself to let go of his son's hand … this moment belonged to him and Amy alone and he didn't want to disturb them. It took all his willpower to leave his son's side and walk out of the room.

Amy watched Andy leaving and as soon as the door closed behind him, she let out the breath she had been holding. She hadn't expected that convincing Ephram's father would be the first hurdle she had to overcome. But Andy Brown was willing to trust her … maybe Ephram would too.

She moved closer to the bed and took a seat on the chair Andy had vacated. She moved her hand towards Ephram's but stopped herself from actually grasping it, unsure if she should take it or not. Would Ephram want her to hold him after everything she had done? If he'd be awake, would he pull his hand away?

Before Amy could make up her mind, she noticed Ephram stir in his sleep. A moment later his eyes fluttered open and she saw his eyes widen in surprise at seeing her next to his bed.

"Hi." Amy pressed out in a whispered voice and she was amazed how shaken this one word could sound. Being strong in front of Andy Brown was once thing … but in front of Ephram it seemed so much harder.

"Hi."

Both Ephram and Amy looked at each other, neither of them knowing what to say next. After several minutes of silence between them Amy eventually took all her courage and began talking.

"Ephram, I can understand if you just want to throw me out now and never want to see me again. I was horrible. I left you … after all the times you stayed with me, helped me. I turned my back on you when what you deserved was a girlfriend who stood by your side the whole way. I broke my promise to you and I can't even begin to say how sorry I am for that. I know that's not enough. I was selfish and stupid and weak and … and so much more. But I still love you … I never stopped loving you and if there is even the small chance that you might forgive me … and even if you don't I won't leave this time. I'm staying and I'm helping you … if you let me, that is. I …" She stopped talking when she noticed tears running down her cheeks. She closed her eyes and tried to keep the tears in. She hadn't meant to cry in front of Ephram … she wanted to be strong for him. Crying wasn't strong … and as a matter of fact stuttering wasn't either and she knew that her last words hadn't been much more than senseless rambling. Somehow the speech she had prepared in her mind had gotten completely mixed up on the way from her brain to her mouth. She forced her eyes open again and looked at Ephram. "I'm sorry."

Ephram looked at her for a long moment and when he finally said something, it broke her heart.

"You don't have to do this." He said quietly, his voice barely above a whisper.

He not only looked weak, he sounded weak as well and it brought the tears right back to her eyes. And she hated herself even more for that because she had promised herself not to cry in front of Ephram and now she was only sitting here for a few minutes and already the tears were falling down her face.

But she wouldn't let him push her away this easily.

"Yes, I do, Ephram. I love you. It's as simple as that. It just took me a while to realize that. I thought I couldn't be strong for you because I'm so scared to lose you. But then I had lost you and it was not because of the leukemia, but because I took the easy way out and ran. I don't want easy anymore … I want it all. The good times and the bad …" She closed her eyes for a moment and let out a small laugh because she knew how stupid she sounded but when she looked at Ephram again, she saw a small smile on his lips and she didn't care anymore how stupid she sounded as long as it made him smile like that. "I want it all and I will put up with everything life throws at us because I love you."

Ephram continued to stare at her. He couldn't believe she was really here, saying all those things. When he had woken up and had seen her sitting next to his bed, her hand reaching out to him, he had thought he was dreaming. Because she couldn't really be here, could she? She had left … but then she had started talking, explaining, apologizing … she really was here.

And then she had said she loved him.

And Ephram didn't know how to react to that. He still loved her too, that was out of the question. He loved her with all his heart and he would give anything to have her back. And here she was, finally with him again … he just needed to take her hand, say the words back and they would be together again.

So why wasn't he? He still lay motionless on the bed, his mouth closed and he was doing nothing but stare at her. Why?

And the answer came quicker to him than he liked. What if she'd leave again? How could he be sure that she wouldn't turn away again, that it would be too much for her? It had hurt so much the first time … he didn't think he was strong enough to go through that again.

"Amy …"

She had seen the struggle in his eyes and she put her finger on his lips faster than he could say his next words. "You don't have to say anything, Ephram."

She pulled her finger away again and both felt pain inside when the short contact between them ended. She looked apologizing at him, not sure what she was apologizing for … the lost contact or the fact that she had touched him at all. She still wasn't sure he wanted her to be so close again.

"I don't expect us to get back together immediately." She went on and she was proud how steady and absolutely not shaking her voice sounded … because getting back with Ephram was exactly what she wanted, but it might not be necessarily what he needed right now. "I just want to be here for you. As your friend. Nothing else. I don't expect anything from you. And if we never get back together again, that's okay too … well, not okay okay, because I still love you, but what I'm trying to say is that …"

"Amy." Ephram cut in and this time he made sure she wouldn't stop him again. "It's okay, I get what you're saying."

"And?"

"Being friends sounds good." He said quietly. And as Amy before he was proud that his voice wasn't shaking … because being friends with her wasn't really enough for him. He wanted it all … he just wasn't sure he was strong enough for it to see it end when she ran away again. Being friends with Amy was safe … if he only managed to keep it that way … keep a certain distance between them … then he would be okay. And she couldn't hurt him again.

"Friends then." Amy smiled, relieved that he wasn't shutting her out completely. She reached out her hand again to grasp his but as soon as their skins connected Ephram pulled his hand away … it was only a reflex and he was as surprised about it as Amy, she could see that in his eyes … but it still hurt.

"Sorry, I …" Ephram looked at her apologetic.

"Don't worry, it's okay." Amy smiled at him warmly. They would take it one step at a time. She would prove to Ephram that he could trust her again. It might take some time … but she would give him all the time he needed. She would wait until the end of the world if that meant that he would trust her again.

Ephram returned her smile and they sat together in a comfortable silence. They didn't need to talk to understand each other. They never had.

Eventually Ephram felt tired and his eyes fell close again. And Amy continued sitting next to him, watching over his sleep, not taking his hand in hers, but staying as close as possible. When she heard him mumbling in his sleep, almost inaudible except when he called for his mother, Amy smiled. He looked so peaceful in his sleep.

She didn't know about the dreams.

TBC

**A.N.: Thank you all for reading and reviewing. I have to apologize that it took me so long to update. Real life came in the way and I didn't have the time I needed to get this chapter done in time. Thank you for not having lost interest in this story. **


	17. Chapter 17

Nervously Amy tapped her fingers on the wall she was leaning against. The conversation between Ephram, his father and his doctor seemed to take forever. A look at her watch told her that it had only been five minutes, but the seconds seemed to drag themselves into eternity.

Why hadn't she been allowed to stay inside? They would tell her everything afterwards anyway.

Or maybe not. She wasn't Ephram's girlfriend anymore. She was just the girl that had turned away from him when he had needed her. They had no reason to tell her every little detail about Ephram's treatment.

Frustrated she hit the back of her head against the wall several times … she had been so stupid. Selfish and stupid … and now she might have lost the most important person in her life.

Ephram was still distant towards her. Happy to see her every time she stepped into his room, she could see that in his eyes. But he always held back. And there was this damn mask always slipping over his face every time he saw her.

And she couldn't even blame him. How was he supposed to know she wouldn't run away again? There was no way she could prove that to him other than by staying with him. She could just hope that given the time he would trust her again.

And until then … until then she would make damn sure to show him how much she loved him. She had already started her very own personal "Get Ephram well" treatment on him. She baked him cookies every morning before school so he could enjoy fresh, albeit no longer warm cookies instead of those dry stuff they served in the hospital. He never ate much and most of the cookies were eaten by Bright, Delia or one of the nurses that always seem to have to check on him whenever Amy appeared.

She didn't mind that though … as long as Ephram liked eating her cookies, she would bake them. She also brought him fresh coffee from Mama Joy's every day. She knew how much he loved coffee – he was practically addicted to it – and the stuff they had at the hospital might look like coffee, but it didn't taste even like anything close to it.

She was all set to do anything necessary to get his weight up again ... and his spirits as well.

And thats why she had a special surprise planned for him for this weekend.

XXXXXXX

"Hey Ames, what are you doing?" Bright asked, looking curious at the different papers and videotapes that were spread on the living room floor.

"It's for Ephram." Amy replied distraught, her eyes not leaving the TV which she sat right in front of.

This couldn't be good for her eyes, Bright thought, remembering the countless warnings his father had preached him over the years. He was just about to give Harold Abbott's famous "Don't sit too close in front of the TV" speech to his little sister, when he realized that that would make him indeed sound like his father.

He was turning into his father! That thought freaked him out.

"I'm going out drinking beer tonight, having fun. You wanna come?" Nothing better than a statement like this to prove to the world – and himself – that he wasn't like his father at all.

He heard his mother laughing behind him and turned around, looking at her confused. "What's so funny about that?"

"Nothing Bright. Actually I'm glad you're going out again. You haven't done that in a while." Rose told him smiling.

"Yeah well …" Bright shrugged, still not understanding how that was making his comment so funny.

"It just reminded me of the very first time your Dad asked me out. He used the exact same words." Rose laughed. "Of course he already had had a few beers at the time to get the courage to ask me, otherwise he probably would have come up with a better way to invite me." She smiled, lost in thought, remembering her first date with her husband.

"Really." Bright clenched his teeth. Great … he was doomed. Sighing he sat down next to Amy … right in front of the TV. "I think I'm turning into Dad."

"What?" Confused Amy looked up at him.

"Don't you see it?"

"Bright, you're nothing like Dad. If you were, you wouldn't give him gray hears way before his time." Amy teased him.

"Yeah, well, I think we're both pretty good at that." Bright quipped back.

Chuckling Amy agreed with him and then turned back to the TV.

Smiling Bright watched her. This felt good ... just normal sibling banter. They hardly ever did that anymore. "So, what are you doing?"

"I'm making a video tape for Ephram. I already asked Mr. Heisenberger if I could borrow the video projector from school. He said if Dad would vouch for any damages that might happen to it while in my possession, it wouldn't be a problem."

"I see." Bright replied, not being any wiser. "And what did Dad say?"

"He agreed."

"Does he know what he agreed to?"

"Not really, no." Amy shrugged. "He was just happy I was doing something else than visiting Ephram or staying in my room."

"I see." Bright looked at her with a raised eyebrow. "How much does that thing cost?"

"About 800 Dollar I think."

"Huh … and what exactly are you trying to do with it?"

Finally Amy looked up at him, a big smile plastered on her face. Bright knew that smile all too well. His little sister was planning something … something special.

"Remember when you told me Ephram wanted to go to Europe with me?"

XXXXXXX

"So, this guy kept complaining about the carpet and how impossible it looked and how it would drag down the whole business. This man is ridiculous. It's his father's store, he should be proud, not making it all bad. He's the one dragging the business down, if you ask me. I hope Mr. Draginski is being released out of this hospital soon, because really, if I have to work for his son much longer, I might have to kill him." Madison finished and looked at Ephram with clenched teeth, her hands held up as if she was strangling someone.

Ephram laughed out loud at her tale. He enjoyed having Madison around. She still had the ability to turn even the most boring story into a fascinating tale and her stories about her injured boss' son were just hilarious.

"It's not funny, I'm telling you, I might not be able to visit you in a few days because I'm facing murder charges." Madison protested indignantly, but her grin betrayed her. She loved hearing Ephram laugh. He was rarely doing it anymore.

"Don't worry, I'll come visit you then for a change." Ephram grinned. "Though you might want to think about that … I remember you telling me that you hate wearing orange clothes."

"Right, good argument. You might have just saved this guy's life."

They both laughed and at that moment the door opened and Amy stepped in. She looked slightly taken aback seeing Ephram and Madison together like this. Ephram was laughing … she couldn't even remember the last time she had heard Ephram laugh at something she had said. Not that that was surprising ... she had left him.

"Hi." She said, finally announcing her presence … both Madison and Ephram had been too absorbed in their conversation to notice her arrival.

They looked at her now and she could see Ephram's eyes widen with joy … only to be replaced by the all too familiar mask right away again.

"Amy, hey." He smiled at her nevertheless and it was that smile that reminded her over and over again why she had fallen in love with him in the first place. Of course it hadn't just been his smile … she loved just everything about him.

"Hi, Amy." Madison said, getting up. "I was just about to leave now anyway. I'll be back tomorrow, okay?" She bend down and gave Ephram a hug.

"Okay. And stay away from your boss's son."

"I will." Madison laughed and waved him good bye. When she walked by Amy, she cast her a cold look. She still hadn't forgiven her for causing Ephram so much pain.

Amy ignored her … or at least she tried to … straightened her back and walked to Ephram, taking a seat on the chair Madison had just vacated. She had to use all her willpower to not bend down to him and kiss him on the cheek. It's how they had always greeted each other from the day they had become a couple and it was hard getting used to not doing it anymore.

"I brought cookies and coffee." She held up the plate with cookies and a steaming cup of coffee.

"You're the best." Ephram beamed and took the coffee, taking a big sip immediately. "Mhmm, heaven." He sighed smiling.

Pleased Amy watched him enjoying the coffee and then taking a cookie as well. "How are you doing?"

"Better." Ephram replied. "Chemo starts again on Monday."

"That's great." Amy bit her lip. "I mean, not great of course ... it's ... uhm ..."

"It's great." Ephram chuckled. "The sooner it starts again, the sooner it's over."

"Not over, Ephram." Amy said quietly, her hand reaching out for his. "A new start."

She held his hand for a second, before Ephram pulled it away. Slowly this time, hesitantly ... as if he didn't really want to let go. Amy took that as progress.

"So ... today I won't be able to stay as long as usual." Amy told him with a small smile.

The look of disappointment in Ephram's eyes, that he was trying to hide, didn't go unnoticed by her and even though she didn't like disappointing him, it meant the world to her. He still cared ... and he still wanted her to come and stay.

"I'm planning a surprise for you." She beamed.

"A surprise?" Ephram asked with a raised eyebrow. "You know I don't like surprises."

"Everyone likes surprises. You just don't like to admit it." Amy quipped. "Don't worry, you're going to love this one."

"What is it?" He asked skeptically.

"If I told you, it wouldn't be a surprise, now would it?" Amy laughed. "You will just have to be patient."

"I'm sick of being patient." Ephram complained.

"I know." Amy swallowed and then smiled sympathetically. "But this is worth waiting, I promise. Just trust me."

They both fell silent for a moment, not looking at each other. Amy silently cursed herself. She wished she could take her last words back. She _knew_ he didn't trust her. That's why she was just sitting next to him on an uncomfortable hospital chair instead of sitting next to him on his bed, holding his hand ... holding him.

"Okay, I trust you." Ephram smiled at her and Amy's heart seemed to burst with joy. She had longed to hear those words from him for so long ... even if it was just in connection with the surprise.

"You won't regret it." She smiled back and this time the smile came straight from her heart. "You want another cookie?"

TBC

**A.N.: So, I know there is not much happening in this chapter. The next one will be better, I promise. Thank you all for your wonderful reviews, I'm so happy each time I see a review alert in my email box :) Have a happy easter. **


	18. Chapter 18

**A.N.: My deepest apology for taking so very, very long to update this chapter. I was hit by the worst case of writer's block ever!!! I knew exactly what was supposed to happen in this story, but I simply couldn't find the words to write it down. I had never intended to abandon this story. I will finish it ... hopefully soon, but I can't make any promises. **

**I owe a huge thank you to darkw2007 for keep asking for an update for this story. You reminded me that there are still people waiting for me to continue this story and that extra bit of pressure helped getting this chapter finally done LOL Also thank you for giving this chapter a look over before I posted it ... I'm very grateful for your help.**

** Also, thank you to Youremyone, Ashley, owlviennagreen, twinkiecat, Murgy31, cathedrals, ILUVGG7THHEAVEN, Sandy Murray and Mike Rules 2003 for taking the time to review this story ... your words and opinions mean very much to me.**

**Now finally on with the story ... **

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Anna Sophie Daniels had seen many people come and go due to her work as a Nurse in the Whitefield Clinic. She had liked most of them, disliked some and forgot about almost everyone a few days after they were released. It hadn't been like that in the beginning. Anne had been determined to remember each and every patient when she had started working as a nurse. But over the years, that determination had dwindled and being a nurse had became nothing more than a job to her. 

She was still nice and polite to the patients, but she also worked as efficient as possible. She didn't take the time anymore to really talk to the people she cared for, she didn't listen to their problems … she only treated the symptoms and called for the doctor when they got too worse.

Anne Daniels had become the callous nurse she had never wanted to be.

That was until she met Ephram Brown. The boy had grown to her immediately. He only needed to look at her with those big, blue eyes and this sad smile on his lips and her heart would melt in an instant. He had woken something in Anna's heart and when it came to this boy she felt like the young, determined nurse again that she once was.

She always checked on him before her shift was over … whether she was already late or not. And she always gave him an extra cookie in the afternoon. Not that he would eat it … the boy hardly ever ate anything and wasn't much more than skin and bones. But his little sister, who came visiting him daily, always appreciated the extra cookie and the joy in her eyes when Anne handed it to her always put a smile on the boy's lips. A real, true smile, not the sad, half version he had reserved for anyone else around him. These days it seemed as if only his little sister could make her brother smile.

Anna wasn't sure what life must have thrown at the boy to put so much sadness in his eyes. She had heard that his mother had been killed in a car accident a few years ago. That alone would be hard for every young man his age. But she sensed that there was more. He never was really relaxed when his father came visiting him. Sure they joked and talked and to the outside they looked like a happy family … well, as happy as a family could be whose oldest son was in hospital with leukemia. But she had seen the look in the father's eyes when the boy was sleeping … the same look she had seen in many people's eyes throughout the years. He had missed out on his boy, he wanted to make up for something he had done in the past, but he was afraid he was running out of time.

Anna wondered what kind of relationship the boy had with his father.

And then there was the girl ... not the one who had been at the boy's side from the day he had been admitted, Marianne or Madison she thought the name was. Anna had known that she wasn't the girl of his heart. She wasn't quite sure what place the boy held in her heart, but it was clear that he didn't share any feelings she might have for him. Although he might once have.

No, Anna was thinking of the other girl, the one who had suddenly appeared after three weeks and who would barely leave the boy's side anymore. The one who brought him cookies he never ate and fresh coffee which he always received gratefully.

The one who made him smile a true and real smile, coming from the heart ... it only lasted a second before he hid it away behind his emotional mask, but Anna had seen it. And she had known from that moment on that this girl might save him.

And when she saw the girl, her brother in tow – the one who flirted with every good looking nurse as if he were Casanova himself, but who had his heart at the right place – both of them carrying several bags filled with tupper ware and one big looking machine, she knew that the girl had done the next step in helping the boy beat the cancer that was slowly trying to kill him.

XXXXXXXX

When Ephram woke up, the first thing he noticed was the smell of coffee ... real coffee, not the stuff they were serving in the hospital. A warm feeling spread through him.

The smell of real, fresh coffee could only mean that Amy was with him. She always brought him coffee from Mama Joy's Diner. And home-baked cookies which he always ate even though he never was hungry. But it made Amy smile to see him eat them and seeing her smile made him feel all warm inside.

That was a feeling he thought he had lost when she had walked away from him three weeks ago. But apparently his first thought when meeting Amy Abbott for the first time had been right - that she was the one he would fall in love with ... and if he did, nothing would ever change that.

And it hasn't changed. Three weeks after their break up he was still in love with Amy and even though he was still hurting, still afraid that she would leave him again, he was starting to think that being with Amy might be worth getting hurt again.

And God, had it really only been three weeks? It felt like a lifetime had passed since he had woken up in this hospital bed, not even remembering how he had come here.

Ephram still had his eyes closed, but he could hear Amy wandering around the room. He remembered the surprise she had promised him and wondered what she was up to. He decided it was time to open his eyes and see for himself what she had planned for him. He blinked a few times until his vision cleared and then he saw her standing at a table by the window, looking more beautiful than ever. He chuckled at that thought. He really was hopelessly lost when it came to Amy Abbott.

Amy had heard his chuckle and turned around to him with a warm smile. "It's about time, sleepyhead. I was starting to become afraid that I would have to eat all this by myself."

She pointed at the table which held several plates filled with food. Ephram felt his stomach turn at the sight. When Amy saw him pale slightly, she chuckled quietly.

"Don't worry. Bright is already looking forward to eating most of this later." She said smiling.

"Oh good." Ephram breathed out relieved. He had tried to come up with something more creative to say, but apparently his brain wasn't fully functioning yet. "So, uhm, what ..." His voice trailed off and he gestured at the piles of food Amy had brought.

"Oh well, what is a real European trip without having the taste of some of the cultural cuisine?" Her smile widened and Ephram looked at her utterly confused.

"What?"

"You and me, Ephram Brown ..." She moved closer to the bed and hesitantly sat down next to him. "We are going to see Europe now, just as we had planned for this summer."

Before Ephram could reply anything - not that he would have known what to say anyway - Amy turned on the video projector that Bright had installed for her and the white empty wall opposite from Ephram's bed was suddenly filled with the London parliament, Big Ben and the Thames in a moving 3D-picture.

"Amy, what ..." Ephram was speechless.

Without thinking about it, Amy took his hand and gave it a light squeeze. And for the first time Ephram thought that maybe it was okay not to pull away from her. That Amy holding his hand was safe.

"I thought we'd start with London because you always claim that it's the world's best city right after New York." Amy said quietly.

"I don't know what to say." Ephram felt overwhelmed and he could feel tears well up in his eyes. He had to use all his willpower to force them down.

"You don't have to say anything. Just wear this ..." Smiling, Amy pulled out a pair of 3D-glasses and placed them on Ephram's nose. "Perfect. Fish and chips?"

She held a plate in front of Ephram and without second thought, he grabbed a few chips. For the first time in a long time, he didn't feel sick at the thought of food. He actually enjoyed the taste of it.

"Tastes great." He grinned and took a cone from the next plate she was holding in front of him. If he felt sick from all the food he tried, he never noticed it.

Together Amy and Ephram visited almost every big European City. They saw Westminster Abbey, Buckingham Palace and walked through the Tower of London. They stood on top of the Eiffel Tower and enjoyed the sight of Paris at night and made a boat tour over the Seine. They went on a ride in a coach through Vienna, walked over the bridges in Prague, drove in a gondola through Venice and they had a picnic on the Spanish Steps in Rome ... just like they had planned so long ago. Ephram fell asleep when they were half through Beethoven's Piano Sonata No. 8 in the Cathedral in Barcelona - their last "station" on their journey. But even in sleep he never let go of Amy's hand.

When Anna stepped into the room, she found Ephram sleeping peacefully. There were no lines of pain edged on his face as usual. It seemed as if the girl's presence alone scared all his demons and his pain away.

The girl herself sat close at his side, clutching his hand tightly and looking at him intently, taking in all of his sight as if she was afraid that by looking away she would lose him.

Anna wanted to tell her that she didn't need to be afraid ... that Ephram wouldn't slip away from her as long as she was at his side. He loved her too much for that. Even an old, tired woman like Anna could see that.

But she was too much a professional nurse to say the words out loud. She never made any promises she wasn't 100 percent sure she could hold.

XXXXXXX

Anna checked on Ephram every day before she left the hospital ... she mostly did this for her own good. She needed to know that he was still well enough to still be there when she returned the next day. She didn't know how his family did this ... if she already felt this strongly for the boy, if his pain hurt her already so badly, she didn't want to imagine how his family and his friends must feel like.

She checked on him every day before she left the hospital ... she had never thought that this new habit she had developed would one day save the boy's life.

When it was time for her to go on the day that Ephram had his first chemotherapy, she quietly stepped into his room, careful not to disturb him. She was hoping that he would be asleep ... then maybe the side effects wouldn't be as bad for him. But when she moved closer to the bed, she didn't see Ephram peacefully sleeping.

Instead he was clutching his throat with both hands and was gasping for breath. His lips had already turned blue and his eyes were widened in fear.

"Oh my god ..." For the first time in a long time Anna Sophie Daniels felt real fear for one of her patients.

_Not him ... god, please ... not this boy._

TBC

**A.N.: twinkiecat, I hope I haven't made you cry with this ending. And ILUVGG7THHEAVEN, I really, really hope you are not disappointed by the surprise. **


	19. Chapter 19

**A.N.: Thanks to my friend Laurie for giving this chapter a look over even though she don't know anything about the show. **

**And thank you all for reading and sticking with this story. To my anonymous reviewers who I can't thank personally, thank you for taking the time to leave a review. Swenglish, thank you for your kind words, I actually blushed reading them :) All reviews for this story are very much appreciated and make it so much easier to write this story (even though it sometimes takes a bit longer). Thank you for your patience. **

** And now on with the story ...**

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**  
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Hastily Andy hurried down the corridor, the words of his son's treating doctor still ringing in his ears.

Anaphylactic shock … dyspnea … unresponsive … 

He was hardly aware of where he was going, his feet bringing him in the right direction automatically. He had walked this way too many times during the last three weeks, he could find it in his sleep.

God, how could this have happened? Ephram had been fine. He had beaten the pneumonia. He was starting with the Chemotherapy again … he was supposed to get better. And now he was _unresponsive_?

"Andy!"

Harold Abbott's voice pulled Andy out of his haze. When he looked up, he met the concerned eyes of his colleague and friend.

"Harold, what happened?" Andy asked agitatedly. He frantically looked at the closed door that held his son. He needed to be with Ephram … he needed to see that his son was still with him.

"I don't know much myself. I just got here. Jack is still with Ephram, he should be out any minute." Harold told him quietly.

"He's in there?" Andy tried to push past Harold, but the other man held him back firmly.

"Let the man do his job, Andy." He tried to calm him. He could see the pain in the other man's eyes and he was grateful that it wasn't him in Andy's place. He didn't think he would survive seeing one of his children suffer like this.

Before Andy could object in any way, the door to Ephram's room opened and Dr. Jack Barlington stepped out.

"Andy, Harold." He nodded and quietly closed the door behind him before either of the other men could take a glance inside the room.

"How is Ephram? What happened?" Andy asked, his patience running low. He needed to know what was going on!

Dr. Barlington sighed quietly and motioned both men to take a seat on one of the few chairs standing next to them. A shiver ran through Andy's spine … he had been a doctor long enough to know that this didn't mean anything good.

"Jack, how is my son?"

Jack Barlington held the concerned father's eyes for a moment before he took a seat for himself. He waited for Andy and Harold to follow him and then began to explain.

"As I said on the phone before, Ephram suffered an anaphylactic shock from the medication. Due to the long pause between the treatments, he received a slightly different form of medication than before. There was no way to know beforehand that he would react that way." Jack paused for a moment to let the information sink in.

All three men knew from experience that the worst part was yet to follow. Doctors always started with the good news first.

"His blood pressure sank too low, followed by the shock. When Nurse Daniels found him, he suffered from acute labored breathing, his pulse was fast and flat." Again Jack took a short pause. He braced himself for what he had to say next. "We had to intubate him and were able to stabilize him. But … he fell into a coma."

Andy stared at the other man, unable to say anything. His son was in a coma.

His little boy, who had his whole life ahead of him, was lying here in hospital with cancer, still weakened from pneumonia and he was in a coma.

"Andy …" Trying to give any kind of comfort, Harold gave his friend's shoulder a slight squeeze. "Ephram is strong, he can beat this. He has come so far …" The devastated look in the other man's eyes made Harold pause for a moment. He really was at a loss of words. He was a father himself … and he knew that no matter what he was going to say now, it wouldn't make any difference to Andy. This was his son in there. "Don't give up hope now. Ephram needs you to be strong." In an afterthought he added. "And so does Delia."

The mention of his youngest child's name finally made Andy look up. Harold was startled to see tears in his eyes. He had always known Andy Brown to be a stubborn, determined, strong-headed and always positive thinking man. But he was also a man who had lost his wife in a tragic accident … and now it seemed as if life was going to take away another member of his family. He wasn't sure if Andy would survive that. He knew that he himself wouldn't.

So he had felt the urge to remind him that there was still another person who needed him. Now more than ever. Delia practically worshipped her big brother … losing him would devastate her. And she would need her father to get through this.

If the situation wouldn't be as earnest as it was, he would have laughed at his thoughts. Here he was telling Andy not to give up hope, while at the same time worrying how he and Delia would deal with Ephram's death.

He closed his eyes for a moment. It was the first time he had actually spoken the words … even if only in his thoughts. Ephram's death … he had never thought that he would ever use those two words in one sentence.

But he had once thought the same about Colin too.

Oh God, he had to tell Amy!

"I want to see him."

Andy's words, spoken in a hoarse voice, pulled him out of his thoughts. Questioningly he looked from Andy to Jack Barlington. Even though he was technically Ephram's doctor outside the hospital, at least on the paper, in here it was Barlington who made the decisions.

"First you need to get dry. You can use my office. I'll get a nurse to bring you some towels." Jack said quietly, a small, comforting smile on his lips.

The same smile he himself had used so many times when talking with relatives of his patients who were in a critical condition, Harold thought, shivering internally.

Fortunately Andy didn't seem to notice it. He only cast a confused glance at Jack at his words.

"You're dripping on my floor, Doctor." Jack replied, gesturing to the pool of rain drops that had assembled on the floor around Andy's chair.

Surprised Andy looked down. He hadn't even noticed that it had been raining outside, much less that he was soaked to the skin.

_It had been raining the night Julia died._

"I need to see my son." Andy pleaded, the urgency in his voice and the sudden panic in his eyes taking both Jack and Harold by surprise. Andy looked like he would break down any moment.

"Of course." Jack finally stepped aside and motioned for Andy to enter Ephram's room, knowing that if he were in Andy's place, nothing, least of being soaked by rain, would stop him from going in that room.

Not bothering to say anything else, Andy practically stormed into Ephram's room, only to stop dead in his tracks at the sight of his son.

Ephram was hooked up to even more monitors surrounding his bed than before. A ventilator was providing him with the air he needed to breathe _… to live_.

His son wasn't breathing on his own.

"God, Ephram …" Andy whispered. He pulled a chair close to his son's bed and took a seat. He absentmindedly dried his hand on a part of his pants that had been mostly saved from the rain due to his long jacket. Choking down a sob that was threatening to escape him, he grasped Ephram's hand and held onto it tightly. "Fight this, son. Don't you dare give up now. Your sister and I still need you. I need you." He added, his voice soaked with despair. A single tear ran down his face. "Who is going to tell me how much I suck at being a father, huh? Who is going to make sure that Delia is getting some real food every once in a while, instead of only pizza or burned meat loaf. I swear, Ephram, even being a world known neurosurgeon isn't going to help me become a better cook." _It won't help me save you._ "I'm a hopeless case."

I am. Not you! 

"So you have to come back, Ephram." He choked again and squeezed his son's hand even tighter. He alleviated his grasp a moment later, fearing that he might hurt Ephram, but his son's face didn't show any signs of distress. He almost looked as if he was sleeping.

Almost … if there weren't the ventilator breathing for him or the several tubes connecting him to all kinds of machines monitoring his vitals or to the IV's supplying him with the medication he needed to survive. He had to close his eyes to shut out the sight in front of him. For a moment it seemed to overwhelm him, threaten to take him down, but he couldn't get himself to keep his eyes closed for too long. He needed to see that his son was still there. Opening his eyes again, he unconsciously tightened his grip around Ephram's hand.

God, all the operations he had done, all the patients he had treated in his life hadn't prepared him for this sight.

He suddenly heard steps behind him, but he didn't turn around. He didn't want to turn away from his son. Out of the corner of his eyes, he saw Jack Barlington standing at the end of the bed, looking at the charts. The doctor in Andy smiled at that tactic. Jack had been in here only minutes before. He himself had written the last entries in that chart.

The father in Andy was grateful for being given a few moments longer to collect himself.

He finally forced himself to turn his eyes away from his son and looked at the doctor. But he never let go of Ephram's hand.

"We stopped the Chemo and gave him Adrenaline immediately and are now treating him with Prednisolon, Solu-Decortin, Expafusin and liquids to stabilize his blood pressure. The extra oxygen he is receiving should help recover his lungs. There is a good chance of a full recovery." Jack explained quietly.

"A good chance." Andy repeated the words in a hoarse voice. How many times had he used that expression. 'A good chance' in medical language meant that the chances of survival were slightly better than 'he's as good as dead'. There was nothing they could do now than wait. Ephram could still die, despite all the medication and despite the quick help he had received. "How could this have happened?"

Jack sighed quietly. "Andy, you know as well as I do that with each new medication there is a risk like this. We needed to try something else as the first round of chemo didn't kill the cancer cells. It was a risk we all were aware of." _Even you_. "But it was the only chance we had to help your son."

"I know." Suddenly feeling exhausted Andy leaned back against the chair. He cast one last glance at his son before he raked his hands through his hair and finally covered his eyes with them. With his elbows on his knees, he supported his head. It seemed to be the only way he could still hold himself upright.

Right now he wanted to just shut the world out. He didn't want to see his son laying motionless in a hospital bed anymore, only being kept alive by machines. And he didn't want to go home and tell his daughter that her big brother might never wake up again.

XXXXXXX

_Smiling Ephram lay on the fresh grass, the sun warming his face. He had never realized how much he had missed the sunshine. Being stuck in a hospital room for weeks had made him forget how relaxing it could be to just lie still and do nothing._

_Lately he found lying still was all he was doing and he was sick of it._

_But here he felt peaceful._

_He opened his eyes and looked at his side. The last time he had been here, Amy had been with him. He wished she could be here now too, but he also knew that wasn't possible. This wasn't a place she could follow him to._

_He didn't know why though. He wasn't even sure why he was here. He remembered being in hospital, but not leaving. _

_And he knew that not remembering all that should worry him. But this wasn't a place for worry either, so he just closed his eyes again and relaxed against the soft grass. He wished he could stay here forever._

_"Ephram."_

_A smile crept on his face at the familiar voice. Quickly Ephram opened his eyes and looked around him._

_And there she was ... looking just like she had when he had seen her the last time, smiling at him lovingly._

_"Mom ..."_

TBC


	20. Chapter 20

**A.N.: Hi everyone. Here it is. The rewritten version of this chapter. It's a lot longer, so everyone who thought the first version was too short, should be pleased now ;) I'm not sure if it's any better than the version before, but I'm slightly more satisfied with this. I hope you like it. **

**You might be happy to know (or not, who knows) that I started a new Everwood story. I have the first chapter finished, the second is almost done (I know, stupid, I should have finished this one before writing on another story, but the idea popped into my head and demanded to be written). Anyway, I'll keep writing Everwood stories, but I decided to wait with posting until I have the next story finished. This way everyone reading it won't have to wait for updates so long. **

**Now on with the story ... **

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Panting Amy ran into the kitchen and hurriedly searched the cabinets in which her mother kept her collection of teas. A minute later she found what she had been looking for – the herbal tea she had seen Ephram drinking after his chemos. It had always helped with the nausea. She didn't think the hospital would have that specific tea for its patients. They didn't even have decent coffee. 

Amy tossed the tea in her bag and hurried out of the room. She was already late because Mrs. Dawson had wanted to talk to her about the Winter Prom preparations. As if she had time for that now. But she had signed on to be a member of the Prom committee – back when she and Ephram had still been together, before the leukemia. When their world still had been in order.

It wasn't like Amy Abbott to back out of a commitment, so she had to have that conversation about a prom she couldn't care less about at the moment and share her opinions about several suggestions from other committee members. The conversation had felt to take forever and Amy had been more than happy when she had been finally able to go home.

Now that she had everything she needed, Amy hurried towards the front door to finally go see Ephram. She had just stopped in the corridor when the front door opened and her father stepped in.

"Amy …" Harold started but was cut short by his daughter.

"Hi, Dad. Bye, Dad." Amy waved at him quickly and brushed past him.

Harold managed to grab her arm before she was out of his reach. "Amy wait!"

Irritated, Amy looked at her father. "Dad, I'm already late. Today is Ephram's first day of chemo. I want to be there for him."

"That's what I need to talk to you about." Harold said quietly. The look of panic that flickered through his daughter's eyes tore at his heart. God, how was he supposed to tell her?

"Dad, what …?"

"Let's sit down, okay?" Harold motioned her to take a seat in the living room, but instead Amy pulled out of his grasp and looked at him pleadingly.

"Just tell me." She said, her voice slightly trembling. "If something's wrong, I need to know."

Sighing Harold dropped his eyes to the floor. He should have known that his daughter wouldn't make this easy for him. "Please." He pleaded and reluctantly Amy followed him in the living room.

They both took a seat on the couch and Amy looked expectantly at her father.

Harold decided to come straight to the point. There was no easy way to say this, no way to sugarcoat the news he had for his daughter. "There have been some complications during Ephram's chemo." He started.

Amy's look of panic increased and Harold realized that until this point she must have still hoped that whatever he was about to tell her wouldn't be about Ephram. His words had taken this hope from her.

"Go on." She whispered in a hoarse voice.

Harold cleared his throat. "He received new medication that were supposed to work better. He …" He paused a moment and took a deep breath. "Ephram had an allergic reaction to one of the new drugs and he suffered an anaphylactic shock." Harold braced himself for what his next words would do to his daughter. "He fell into a coma."

Whatever reaction Harold had imagined, the look of horror on Amy's face didn't even come close.

"No …"

"His condition is stable. He got the help he needed right away. The doctors are doing everything they can and …"

"That's what they said about Colin too." Amy's shaking voice interrupted him. Tears were rolling down her face.

"Amy …" Harold reached for his daughter's hand, but she pulled away.

"No!" Amy called out. She practically jumped off the couch and moved away from her father. "That's not fair! Why … why does this keep happening? What did I do to …" Her voice broke and she raked her hands through her hair in desperation.

It broke Harold's heart to see his daughter like this and be unable to do anything to help her. He stood up from the couch and stepped towards his daughter. Right now he just wanted to hold her in his arms and protect her from the pain of the world. Even though he knew he couldn't.

"No." Amy walked backwards, away from her father. "I … I need …" She shook her head to clear her mind and get the words out she wanted to say. "I need some time to think. Alone." With that she ran out of the house and into the rain that was still pouring from the sky.

Harold watched his daughter leaving and every nerve in his body screamed for him to follow her. But he knew she needed this time alone. And he would give it to her. But if he hadn't heard from her in three hours, he would start looking for her. Or maybe two hours. Two hours would be better.

Anxiously Harold stared at the old clock on the wall, willing the time to move faster.

XXXXXXX

At the same time Andy was as anxiously as Harold. He wasn't sure how much time had passed since he had stepped into Ephram's room. He figured it couldn't have been more than a few hours, though it felt as long as a lifetime. A life filled with the regular beeping of his son's heart monitor and the steady swooshing sound of the ventilator helping his child breath.

He held Ephram's hand tightly in his own, clinging to it as if this connection was the only thing that kept Ephram alive. And maybe it was. Andy hoped deeply that somewhere in his subconscious Ephram was aware of his father's presence. That he knew he wasn't alone and that Andy wouldn't leave him.

He needed to believe that Ephram was still fighting.

XXXXXXX

_The sun felt warm on his skin and a soft hand gently stroked through his hair. When Ephram opened his eyes, he found the smiling face of his mother above him. His head was lying on her lab and she was cradling him close to her as she had done so many times when Ephram had been younger. When the world hadn't been as screwed up as it was now and something as simple as his mother's soothing voice had scared away all his nightmares. _

"_I can still scare them away if you let me." Julia said softly. _

_Ephram had stopped wondering how she always knew what he was thinking. "I wish you had never left, Mom."_

"_Me too, honey, me too." She gently stroked his cheek and placed a kiss on his forehead. "But I'm never really gone, sweetheart. I'm always right here with you." She held her hand over his heart. "And with Delia, too." _

_Ephram smiled at her words, but his heart filled with sadness. "I don't want to leave you." _

"_You can't stay with me yet, son. You still have your full live ahead of you." _

"_What about the light?" He pointed at a warm white light that had been visible on the horizon for a while now. It seemed to come closer every time he looked. By now Ephram thought that he knew what the light meant. _

"_Can you feel its pull on you?" Julia asked quietly, longing and worry both audible in her voice. _

"_Yes." Ephram whispered. "Like it's calling for me." _

"_Do you want to go through it?" _

_Ephram thought about the question. If he did, all his worries would be gone. No more pain, no hospitals, no chemo, no heartbreaks anymore. And he would be with his mother forever. _

"_Your father and sister would miss you." Julia said as if she had read his thoughts. "They still need you." _

"_They'd still have each other." Ephram replied quietly. His eyes went back to the light. It was so close now that he could touch it. He lifted his hand and reached for it._

XXXXXX

"_I see her too, sometimes. Mom, I mean. Not like you do. I don't talk to her or anything. More like I … I feel her, with us, w-when we're all having dinner or when there's a song playing on the radio that she used to like. I … I just know she's there."_

"_Ephram, I wish I could tell you everything's gonna be OK. I know that's what I'm supposed to say. But the truth is, I don't know what's gonna happen to us. But what I do know is that all we have now is each other. I need your help raising your sister. I can't do it alone. She gets us."_

"_Dad … I've been dreaming of mom a lot lately. She … I don't know … it's like she's calling for me …"_

With a start Andy jumped in his chair. He hadn't even noticed that he had fallen asleep when the screeching sound of Ephram's heart monitor woke him up. His eyes flew open and with horror he saw a flat line where only seconds ago his son's heart beat had been shown. More alarms started blaring and suddenly the room filled with several nurses and doctors. Andy was pushed into a corner before his mind could even fully grasped what had just happened.

Ephram's heart had stopped beating.

A cold fear gripped his heart. "No. No, no, no …" He mumbled as he watched the nurses and doctors trying to save his son's life. "Don't do that son. Not yet, it's too soon. We need you. I need you … I can't do this without you."

"We need a crash card here, now!" One of the doctors shouted.

Andy's legs gave in and he slid down the wall, his eyes never leaving his son.

XXXXXXX

"_Hey."_

"_Hey."_

"_You were bold out there."_

"_Oh, it was strategy, really."_

"_Strategy?"_

"_I find it's best when dealing with any unfamiliar bully to strike early with sarcasm. Yeah, it makes them wonder if I have some butt-kicking prowess that they're unable to detect."_

"_Wow. You have really thought this out."_

"_Yeah, well, spend as much time in a gym locker as me, you'd have a few theories of your own."_

"_Were they really that terrible to you in New York?"_

"_How'd you know I was from New York?"_

"_That new doctor who just moved here. He's your father, right?"_

"_Yeah, if you use the term "father" loosely."_

"_Ever since that article in Time, he's the only one anyone can talk about around here."_

"_Yeah? What do they say?"_

"_Mostly, they just wonder why he came."_

"_Oh. If they figure it out, let me know."_

"_You really don't know why you came here?"_

"_Wacked, I know."_

"_I think it's wild. Sometimes, I wonder if my Dad is the most boring man alive. ... There's the bell. We should have lunch... sometime."_

"_Wait. ... What's your name?_

"_Amy. And I like your hair."_

Amy remembered her first meeting with Ephram as if it was yesterday. Back then she had only tried to become Ephram's friend to meet his father. To convince him to save her boyfriend. Funny how instead of just using Ephram she had fallen for him instantly. Of course it had taken her a while to realize it. She had wasted so much time pushing Ephram away and not seeing what was right there in front of her. That Ephram was the right one. That she loved him.

And she did. She loved him with all her heart. And she had promised to be there for him.

"

"_Just being with you makes this easier." _

"_Like I said, Ephram, I'm with you every step of the way. I promise." _

She had promised and yet she had turned away from him after all. Was she ready to do that again? Turn away from him when he needed her? He wouldn't even notice. Ephram was in a coma. He wouldn't know if she was at his side or not. She could turn away now and wait from afar whether he would wake up or not. And Ephram wouldn't even know.

Only he was Ephram and somehow he always seemed to know everything concerning her. He would know.

If she'd turn away now, she would lose him for good, whether he would fully recover or not. He wouldn't forgive her a second time. And she wouldn't deserve it.

"_Look, Amy, I know this sucks for you because of Colin and I want to be there for you, I do, but I can't do this anymore. I can't keep being your second choice, not when you're my first."_

Amy stopped frozen in her tracks, ignoring the people running past her to escape the rain or the funny looks they threw her way for just standing there instead of searching some cover. Ephram's words from so long ago kept replaying in her head. He had wanted to end it because it had all become too much for him. And she couldn't even blame him. She had treated him like her second choice, even though deep down she had always known he was her first choice as well.

And somehow Ephram had known that too. Or maybe had just hoped for it, but the point was, he had stayed with her. Despite his words, he had stayed being her friend and had been there for her. Always.

And she would do the same.

When Amy looked up, she noticed that she was standing right in front of the hospital. A small smile appeared on her lips. She had found the right way without even thinking about it.

After taking a deep breath, Amy quickly walked towards the hospital. A few minutes later she stepped into the corridor leading to Ephram's room. Her smile had faded on her way up here at the thoughts of what would be awaiting her when she stepped into Ephram's room. She had enough information about coma patients to know what she would have to except. But all her experience didn't prepare her for the sight waiting for her when she had reached Ephram's room. The first thing she noticed was Andy Brown, looking pale and scared, his eyes wide with fear and worry. Then she saw several people standing around Ephram's bed. That's when the sound of a long drawn-out beeping tone reached her eyes. The last thing she noticed was the lifeless form of Ephram and his doctor, holding two paddles over the young man's body.

"Clear!" Dr. Barlington shouted and every one stepped away from the bed.

He delivered a shock on Ephram's chest and his body jerked up from the electric jolt. The flat line on the heart monitor remained unchanged. With horror Amy watched another doctor and a nurse doing CPR on Ephram for a few moments, before Dr. Barlington's shout made them step back and another shock was delivered. Again Ephram's body jerked up and again the line on the heart monitor remained flat.

Amy felt the blood rush out of her head and the world began spinning. A moment later everything around her turned black and she collapsed on the floor.

XXXXXXX

"_If you love someone... it should be easy... I love you Ephram."_

"_I love you too, Amy. "_

"EPHRAM!"

With a start, Amy sat up on the bed. Trembling all over, she let her eyes wander around the room, searching for the one person she needed the most right now.

"Amy." Within seconds, her parents were at her side, her mother sitting on her bedside and holding her hand, her father standing next to the bed, looking worried and relieved at the same time.

"Oh honey, you had us so worried." Rose pulled her daughter close into a tight hug.

Amy tried to grasp what had happened and where she was. "Mom … Dad … what …?"

In that moment it all came back. Her father telling her that Ephram was in a coma, the flat line on his heart monitor …

"Where is Ephram?" With pleading eyes she looked at her father. "Dad, is he …"

"He's still with us, Amy." Harold said quietly. "He hasn't woken yet from the coma, but his condition is stable. He's fine … under the circumstances."

"I want to see him." Amy said determinedly and pushed her covers away.

"Amy, you just woke up. You have been unconscious for almost an hour, you …" Rose tried to stop her daughter, but one look into Amy's eyes told her that it was useless. Amy had made up her mind. "All right, but only for a few minutes. And then you'll join us in the cafeteria. You need to eat something. You look like your starving. And then you will let your father check you through thoroughly. I don't want you to get sick. And …"

"Rose." Harold interrupted his wife quietly. "Let her go."

Sighing Rose looked between Harold and her daughter. "Half an hour and we will be waiting right outside the room."

"Okay." Amy jumped out of the bed and practically ran out of the room. She needed to see Ephram.

XXXXXXX

Lost in thought Amy sat at Ephram's side and watched the steady rise and fall of his chest. One week had passed since his heart had stopped beating. Three days ago the ventilator had been removed. Since then Ephram was breathing on his own.

The first minutes after the ventilator had been removed had been the longest in her life. With fear and hope everyone had waited if Ephram would be able to keep breathing on his own. Without a machine helping him. And he had. And with every breath he took, Amy had been more sure that he would survive this. They both would. Together.

That first day, when she had collapsed in front of Ephram's room, Amy had agreed to go home with her parents. She had let her mother fuss over her and her father run a full medical check on her. She had eaten everything her mother had placed in front of her and she had even bore Bright's attempts to cheer her up.

But that was all she was willing to relent to. When she returned to Ephram's side the next day, she vowed that she wouldn't leave again until he woke up again. She didn't go to school anymore and after a long discussion with her parents they had finally relented and had let her stay.

Amy was sure that it had something to do with a conversation she had overheard between her father and Dr. Barlington. It was different than with Colin, Dr. Barlington had said. Ephram wouldn't be in a coma for months. Or years. He'd either wake up soon and would hopefully be strong enough to continue his chemotherapy or he would die. It was as simple as that. There would be no months of waiting for her love to wake up.

At first Amy had been devastated at these harsh words. But then she had realized that in some way Dr. Barlington was right. This was different than Colin. It felt different. Her feelings for Ephram went so much deeper than with Colin. She had loved Colin, there was no doubt about that. But it had been a teenage love. And somehow she had always known that it would end some day. But it was so different with Ephram. From the moment they had become a couple, she had started picturing their lives, _their future_ together. She had known this would be forever.

And she'd be damned if she let something like this destroy that dream. Ephram would wake up and they would have that future together.

"Madison called again last night." Amy said quietly. She was talking to Ephram as much as possible, convinced that somewhere inside he could hear her. And she had the secret hope that maybe hearing her voice would lead Ephram back to her. "She's really worried. She would visit you herself, but she's not allowed in anymore because she's no family. Technically, not even I should be here, but your Dad pulled his rank and now I even have my own bed in here. I think the night nurse couldn't bare to see me sleeping in this chair anymore. She tries to hide it, but she has a big heart. You would like her."

Gently Amy stroked her fingers over Ephram's arm. A wave of despair ran through her. Right now she wanted nothing more but for Ephram to take her into his arms and hold her. She had always felt safe whenever he had held her, even when she was still together with Colin. Ephram had this talent to make everything better just by putting his arm around her … by gently stroking the palm of her hand with his thumb … by tucking back a loose strand of hair behind her ear … by giving her a soft kiss on the forehead …

"_You gotta stop doing that. "_

"_What?"_

"_Saying things that make me wanna kiss you."_

Amy closed her eyes and a single tear found its way down her cheeks. She missed him so much. Hearing his voice, listening to his playing, being held by him …

A twitch in her hand made Amy's head jerk up in shock. Anxiously she stared at her hand that was holding tightly on to Ephram's. She could swear that just now … But everything was as it had been before. Ephram's hand still lay limp in her own. There was no movement to be seen. But maybe … just maybe …

Not allowing her hopes to get up, only to be crushed again by reality, Amy continued talking to Ephram.

"Delia brought you her magic stones." She didn't care that she had already told Ephram this yesterday, all that mattered was that she kept talking. She wanted Ephram to know that someone was here waiting for him. "She told me the story how every morning she found them in a sandbox your Dad had build on your balcony in New York. She told me about the Golden Clouds that would come during the night and let these magic stones rain down on New York … because it is, I quote 'the best damn city in the world'." Amy laughed quietly. "Didn't anyone ever tell you not to curse in front of your little sister? It's no surprise she acts more like a boy than a girl." A chuckle escaped her lips." You should have seen her eyes. They were gleaming with joy and love at the memory. That was such a sweet thing you did for her, Ephram. And it still means so much to her. Did you know she still keeps all the stones she found in there? She had them in a secret box in her closet all those years. But I'm not supposed to tell you this, so don't tell her I said it. She brought them all here now. They in your nightstand, if you want to see them. They are supposed to bring good luck and Delia said that you could use the luck more now than she does. But that's not true, is it?" Amy's voice had changed into a whisper. "It's not luck that will bring you back, isn't it? It's your will to live. You have always been so strong, Ephram. Don't give up now."

Another tear found its way down Amy's cheeks and she suddenly felt tired and utterly exhausted. Swiping the tear away, she laid her head on the bed next to Ephram's and closed her eyes. In her mind she saw the pictures of their future together that she had imagined so often.

She would go with Ephram to New York where he would become a famous piano player – possibly the world's best! And she would study and become … a teacher maybe. Or a doctor. Or maybe she could continue her ballet dancing. She had always loved that. She wasn't quite sure what the future held for her, but she knew that she would be at Ephram's side.

"We'll buy a house in one of the better parts of New York." Amy said quietly, not even aware that she was speaking her thoughts out loud. "Something with a big garden. And a white fence. I always wanted a white fence. And a dog. Definitely a dog. Our children are going to love having a dog to grow up with. I always wanted one, but Dad always refused. We can spend the evenings, when the kids are in bed, on the veranda, watching the sunset. You would pull your arm around my shoulder and I would lean my head on yours. We could drink a red wine maybe. That's what sophisticated people do, right? And I'm going to be one of those moms who are always driving their children to school, because, you know, New York isn't Everwood and I'm not going to let my children drive by bus. How do you like the name Skippy? For the dog, I mean. And Timothy and Sophie for the children. I think we should have a boy first. If possible. I mean, Bright can be a pain in the ass, but it's kinda nice having a big brother who looks out for you. I want Sophie to have that too. You could play for us on the piano once in a while. The kids and I would sit around the piano and listen to you. Or maybe we could sing something? I have quite a good voice, you know, and I'm sure with our musical genes our kids will be fantastic musicians. And …"

Another twitch in her hand made Amy caught her breath. It had been longer this time. Still weak and hardly noticeable, but definitely there. Her eyes wandered down to her and Ephram's hands that were still entwined. His fingers were moving. Slightly, hardly detectable, but she could feel them moving over her skin.

Slowly releasing her breath, she turned her head to look at Ephram … and met his open eyen looking at her. For a moment time seemed to stop still and only she and Ephram existed in the world.

Then his eyes fell close again. "Not Skip…py …" He slurred, his voice hardly audible.

After another moment of just staring incredulously at Ephram, Amy finally woke up from her haze.

"Ephram?" She gently shook his arm, carefully, afraid that she might hurt him. "Ephram, you awake?"

A moment of silence followed her words, but eventually his eyes slid open again. "Hey."

"Hey." Amy replied. "How … are you?"

It was a stupid question, she knew that. But what else was there to say?

"Tired …"

His eyes were half closed again and Amy raked her mind what she could say to keep him awake for a moment longer. "What's wrong with Skippy?"

She could kick herself. At this moment she knew how Jennifer Gray must have felt in Dirty Dancing when she spoke to Patrick Swayze for the first time. "I was carrying a water melon."

Yes, 'what's wrong with Skippy' definitely belonged right there with Jennifer's water melon statement to the most stupid things a woman has ever said to a man.

A small smile appeared on Ephram's lips and Amy wished she had lots of more stupid Skippy statements if only they would keep Ephram smiling like this. She felt herself smiling right there with him. She could hug the whole world at this moment.

"It's … a stu...pid … name."

She could see how much it cost him to say these words. He let out a heavy sigh and his eyes closed again. She felt his hand relax again in hers and knew he had fallen back asleep.

Asleep.

That's all it was. No coma, no unconsciousness, just simply asleep.

A wide grin spread on her face. Ephram had come back to her. And they just had the most ridiculous post-coma conversation ever. They could tell this story to their grandchildren and still laugh about it.

She thought about what she should do now. Her heart screamed at her to rest her head next to Ephram's again, to close her eyes and go to sleep right there with him. Because even though she had been sleeping in this room every night for almost a week, she hadn't slept together with Ephram for a long time. Because Ephram hadn't been asleep. He had been in a coma.

But that had changed now.

And while her heart was screaming one thing at her, her mind kept reminding her that she needed to call Ephram's doctor. He probably wanted to know that Ephram had woken up. She was reluctant though to leave his side.

"Well, it's about time we use this." Amy mumbled and hit the nurse call button.

A moment later Nurse Anna entered the room. She only had to cast one glance at Amy's smiling face to know that her favourite patient had taken a very important step towards recovery.

"I'll call Dr. Barlington immediately." Anna beamed with joy. "And I'll inform his father right away too."

TBC

**A.N.: Hi, sorry, me once more. Um, I'm looking for a beta for my Everwood stories. If anyone is interested, I would love to have any help with my writing and I'd be very, very grateful :o)**


	21. Chapter 21

**A.N.: Thanks to everyone for reading and sticking with this story. A special thanks to all my reviewers. Thanks for your support :o)** **This is it. The end of this story is here. One epilogue to follow and then it will be complete. **

* * *

Lost in thought, Andy watched his son. He looked so innocent in his sleep. If it wouldn't be for his pale skin, the dark circles under his eyes and the fact that he had lost so much weight that he looked to be nothing more than skin and bones, Andy would have enjoyed the sight.

Three months had passed since Ephram had woken up from the coma. Three months during which he had witnessed his child fighting to live. And Ephram had won. He had beaten the cancer and he would be released the next day .

Andy would finally be able to take his child home with him.

He had watched Ephram closely these past few months. He had stayed at his side as often as possible – he had made a tight schedule with Amy, making sure that Ephram never had to be alone during his chemos. Neither of them had wanted a repeat of what had happened three months ago. And they didn't want Ephram to be alone. Period.

And yet, during all the time he had spend with Ephram, he had never found the courage to broach the subject he wanted, no _needed_ to talk to him so badly. There were so many things he needed to say. But every time he thought he was strong enough to speak up, someone came to visit Ephram. His son might not have many friends, but the ones he had were more than loyal. Bright and Madison came to see him every day since he was allowed to have non-related visitors as well. And Amy, just like Andy, spend every second of her free time at Ephram's side.

When Andy had come to see Ephram today, his son had been fast asleep. That had been two hours ago. Two hours in which he had waited for any sign that his son was waking up. Two hours in which he had tried to find the right words to tell his son what he should have told him a long time ago. It was now or never. Tomorrow Ephram would be released and once they were back home, back in their old lives, Andy didn't think they would get the chance to talk openly with each other.

"Hey Dad."

Andy's head jerked up at hearing his son's voice. He had waited impatiently for Ephram to wake up and now he had been so deep in thought that he had missed it.

"Ephram, hey." He smiled, a wave of relief washing over him. Even after three months, it still felt good to see his son's eyes open. Seeing him asleep reminded him too much of the time Ephram had been in a coma. He didn't think he would ever lose that fear again.

"How long have you been here?" Ephram asked, his voice still filled with sleep.

"About two hours, I think." Andy replied. Actually, it had been 2 hours and 14 minutes, but he didn't want to appear too accurate. "I didn't want to wake you."

"You should have." Ephram sighed. "The only things I get to do here is talking to you guys or sleeping."

"You can always watch TV." Andy pointed out. He had bought his son a brand new television set so he would have something do to between his therapies. Reading wasn't an option; Ephram would usually fall asleep before he had finished the first page. And during the first few weeks he had been too weak to even hold a book anyway. Watching TV had been the only way for him to relax without exerting himself.

"Yeah, well, daytime TV sucks." Ephram groaned.

"True." Andy chuckled. He remembered having to spend an entire week in bed when he had caught a bad case of the flu. He had been close to throwing out the TV if he had to watch one more talk show at the time.

He looked at his son thoughtfully for a moment, then he took a deep breath and braced himself for what he was about to say. Now or never, he repeated in his mind. "Ephram, there is something I need to talk to you about."

"Am I in trouble? I swear, that Nurse from Hell is making it all up. I would never attend in any wheelchair race."

"You're not in trouble." Andy reassured him. A moment later his son's words hit home. "A wheelchair race?"

"It was all Bright's fault." Ephram said quickly, barely able to hide his grin at the memory. Bright had talked him into racing Jeff, a 20 year old leukemia patient, through the hospital halls – Bright had pushed Ephram while Jeff's older brother Dean had pushed Jeff. They had actually won. Dean had then thrown a round of coffee for them all. It had been fun and one of the more exciting afternoons Ephram had had since he had been admitted to the hospital.

Andy couldn't help but smile at the light mood his son was in. He had been depressed and quiet too often the last few months. "It's not about the wheelchair race." He assured him.

"Then what? We're not moving again, are we?" Ephram teased him.

Andy rolled his eyes. It seems his son would never let go of that … but he was grateful for the teasing tone nevertheless. Just a few months ago, joking about their move to Everwood had been out of the question. They had only argued about it then – which most of the time had ended in a loud, hurtful shouting match. His ears still rang from some of the things Ephram had screamed at him in anger back then. And he himself hadn't been much better. But somewhere along the line, Ephram had started to like living in this small town and things had gotten better between them. Until they had found the next subject to fight about.

"No, we're not moving. I just … I want to say … I'm sorry." Andy said after a moment and he felt stupid about it immediately because he hadn't planned to start with I'm sorry. He had wanted to tell Ephram all the things that he had done wrong, explain to him why he had done what he had done … a simple "I'm sorry" just wasn't enough.

"About what?" Ephram looked at his father in surprise. The great Dr. Andy Brown didn't apologize very often.

"Everything." Andy shrugged helplessly. Damn, what had happened to his carefully prepared speech?

Ephram raised an eyebrow. "You do know that world hunger and poverty isn't your fault, right?" He tried to joke. He was confused by his father's behavior.

Andy looked at him sternly. "I'm trying to have a serious conversation with you here, Ephram."

"Okay."

His simple acceptance caught Andy off guard. He had at least expected one more wise-crack comment from his son … he never gave in so easily. But then he had never lied in a hospital bed, suffering from leukemia, pneumonia and the after effects of a several weeks lasting chemo therapy.

"So?" Ephram inquired, urging his father to go on. He seriously didn't know how long he was able to stay awake and this kind of conversation seemed to be too important to fall asleep in the middle of it.

"I shouldn't have forced you to take all those piano lessons."

Ephram looked at his father as if he suddenly had two heads. "I haven't had a lesson in weeks."

"I know that. But before … before you got … " His voice trailed off and Andy found himself unable to go on.

"Before I got sick." Ephram finished for him and Andy felt even worse because he couldn't even say that.

"I made you take all those lessons even though you didn't want to. I should have respected your wishes."

"You were just trying to help me, Dad. I know that."

"But I only made it worse, didn't I?" Andy admitted guiltily.

"What do you mean?"

"I should have talked to you … tried to understand why you suddenly were so reluctant to play."

"We were never really good in talking." Ephram said quietly.

"No, we weren't." Andy sighed.

They sat in silence for a few moments and when Ephram closed his eyes, Andy thought he had fallen asleep again. He felt a tight grip around his chest … he wasn't done yet. There was still so much to say. "Ephram?"

Hearing his name, Ephram immediately opened his eyes again. "Still here." He smiled and wondered what it was his father really wanted to talk about … and how long it would take him because even though he tried hard to ignore it, he was feeling overly tired again already.

Somehow, Andy sensed his son's struggle to stay awake and before he could think about it much longer, the words had left his mouth. "Your mother's death wasn't your fault, son."

Ephram froze in front of his eyes and when the grip around his hand suddenly tightened, it was enough prove for Andy that his … or better Harold's suspicion had been right. Ephram was blaming himself.

"It was an accident, Ephram. A horrible accident and I can understand you might think it was your fault. I know how you feel because … " He swallowed. "… because I blamed myself for so long as well. But the truth is … the truth is that it isn't my fault. And it isn't yours as well. The only person to blame is that driver who decided to get behind the wheel even though he was too drunk to even walk a straight line. He took your mother away from us and if you want to blame anyone, then blame him. Or me, because maybe … maybe things would have ended differently if I had picked her up from home. If I had been there in time your mother would have been sitting at your concert long before that driver missed that red light. You can blame me for it, Ephram, but not yourself."

"Dad …"

"No, I want you to really understand that, Ephram. It wasn't your fault!" He tightened his grip around his son's hand. "You mother would have traveled around the world to hear you play. A drive to Jersey wasn't too much and she didn't only do it for you, but also for herself. She loved you so much, Ephram." His voice hitched and he felt tears brimming in his eyes. "She loved to hear you play. I love to hear you play. And if you choose never to play again because you have lost interest in it, that's okay. But don't give it up because you blame yourself for your mother's death. That is not what she wanted."

He stopped when he saw tears rolling down Ephram's cheeks. He wanted to say something, but the words wouldn't come to him. And maybe he didn't have to say anything at all. Sometimes actions spoke louder than words.

A moment later he had pulled Ephram into his arms, embracing him, holding him tightly while they both cried for the woman they had lost. It was the first time they actually grieved together. Andy thought that maybe now their wounds caused by Julia's death could finally start to heal.

XXXXXXX

„Amy, I have everything." Ephram said for the umpteenth time. She was starting to slightly irritate him with her behavior.

"Let me just check the cabinet again. I don't want to come back here to collect anything we have forgotten." Amy said, her head already deep inside the cabinet, inspecting every corner for any belongings from Ephram.

"You already looked there three times." In the last 15 minutes, he added silently. He got that she was happy he was allowed to go him. Hewas happy about that as well. But that didn't mean he was driving anyone in a one mile radius crazy.

"It's empty." Amy announced, her face red from sticking it in too many cabinets the last hour.

"What a surprise." Ephram couldn't help but grin at watching her prepare everything for his departure. He had to admit, he was as excited as she was. He was finally going home. Tonight he would sleep in his own bed. There were no more chemos, no nurses waking him up at the most insane hours to check his vitals or make his bed. No visiting hours his friends had to watch out for. His own room, his books, his music, his pictures, memories, belongings … He couldn't wait to have all of that around him again. And Delia. He had missed getting her up in the morning (a habit he had never given up on, even though their father had gotten a lot better in taking care of them even before his admittance to the hospital), having breakfast together, picking her up after school (okay, that would have to wait a bit, but it was something he looked forward to nevertheless) or making fun of their father's cooking attempts and ending up ordering pizza after all. He missed having her around all the time. She had come and visited him as often as their father would allow, but it hadn't been the same.

All in all, he was more than happy to go home.

"Come here." He said, holding his hand for Amy to take.

"But I …" Amy started to object and pointed at the bathroom – where she had checked at least a dozen times if anything had been left.

"Just come here for a moment. You can triple check everything afterwards."

"After what?" Amy asked. She was eying Ephram suspiciously, but took a seat next to him on the bed anyway.

"After this." Ephram said softly. He gently placed his hand on Amy's neck and leaned closer to give her a kiss.

A small moan escaped Amy's lips as she drowned in the new found intimacy between her and Ephram. Her hands roamed over Ephram's arms and she returned the kiss with the same passion that he was kissing her with.

Every time they got this close, Amy was amazed that Ephram had found it in him to forgive her. And not only that … He had also started to trust her again. She saw it in his eyes every time he looked at her. All doubts that she would stay with him were gone. She couldn't explain it. It was as if by seeing her at his side when he had woken up that day, that it had been enough prove for him that she wouldn't leave again. She wished she could have that much faith in herself as he had. It made her love him even more.

They had started as friends again, but they had gotten closer with every passing day. Ephram's whole face was smiling when he saw her enter the room and the smile stayed until she left. They both yearned to be near each other, but it had never gotten further than a hug here and there or a kiss on the cheeks. Until one day Ephram had simply taken her hand, had pulled her down and given her a kiss. "I love you" he had whispered into her ear. And that had been it. From that day on Amy and Ephram were together again.

"You can go on now." Ephram laughed softly and pulled away from her.

But Amy didn't want to hear anything about that. "I've checked everything." She whispered. She cupped his face with her hands and gave him another long, passionate kiss. This time it was Ephram who moaned in pleasure.

A short while later, the door to Ephram's room opened and Andy entered, pushing a wheelchair in front of him.

"You ready to leave?" Andy smiled from one ear to the next. He decided to ignore the position he had found his son and Amy in.

"I don't need a wheelchair." Ephram exclaimed indignantly, reluctantly pulling away from Amy. "I can walk out of here on my own."

"Hospital policy, son." Andy replied. "They won't let you walk out of here unless I push you in this nice vehicle."

"Just think of it as your own limo." Amy grinned and gave him a kiss on the cheek. She loved that Ephram's stubborn streak was showing its ugly head again. For too long he had been too complying in front of everyone. It was time he started talking back.

"I've been driving around my _limo_ for months. I'm officially sick of it." Ephram pouted.

"Do you _want _to stay here?" Andy asked with a raised eyebrow.

Ephram narrowed his eyes at him, but after a moment he eventually climbed onto the wheelchair. "Fine, but you don't have to push me. I can do this on my own."

With that said, Ephram began to kick on the wheels and slowly maneuvered himself out of the room. He was out of breath before he had reached the end of the corridor. Sweat was forming on his forehead, but he refused to let anyone help him. Andy admired his son's willpower, though he wished he wouldn't be so stubborn about this. He could see what the exertion did to his son and he wondered how long Ephram would be able to keep up with it.

As it was, Ephram managed to reach the Brown's family car all by himself. He was breathing heavily and finally accepted his father's help with getting into the car. He didn't trust his legs to hold him long enough for the two steps into the car. All this time he had somehow thought that when he would finally leave the hospital, he would be back to his old self. Now he had to realize that it might take him a long time before he would regain his strength. But he would work hard to achieve that as soon as possible.

Amy and Andy joined him in the car a moment later and all three of them were cheerful to leave the hospital behind them. Hopefully they wouldn't have to come back here for a long, long time. Amy was chattering from behind; not able to stay quiet she spoke about everything that came to her mind. Andy listened to her patiently, already being used to her ramblings whenever she was nervous or excited about something, while Ephram fell asleep two minutes into the drive.

XXXXXXX

Yawning Ephram woke up and stretched his arms. His eyes still closed, he enjoyed the warmth of his own soft bed and the smell of burned pancakes coming from the kitchen. Smiling he opened his eyes and looked around his room.

He was home.

He hadn't been able to do much once they had arrived at the house yesterday. Delia, Nina and Sam had greeted him cheerfully and a huge welcome sign had hung over the porch. Nina had prepared them a wonderful dinner. Unfortunately Ephram had been full after only a few bites and soon after his father had half helped, half carried him up the stairs into his room. He wasn't even sure if he had stayed awake long enough to even reach his room. At any rate, he had no memory at all of actually going to bed. The last thing he could remember was his father telling him that he was glad to have him home. And they had still been on the stairs then.

Stretching one more time, Ephram slowly got out of bed. His vision blurred for a moment, something he was already used to. Due to the long time he had spend in bed, his blood circulation was still too low. After a moment, the world stopped spinning and Ephram grabbed a pullover that hung over his desk chair and pulled it over his head. He slipped out of his room and went down the stairs.

He could hear Andy and Delia chattering in the kitchen. Apparently they were planning a surprise breakfast for him. Ephram had to smile when he heard his little sister scolding her father for the burned pancakes. His father had learned a lot of things regarding the household. Cooking wasn't one of it and Delia and he had long given up hope that that would ever change anymore.

Ephram decided to give them some more time and went into the living room. The short walk had left him breathless and he sank down on the couch, grateful to rest. He closed his eyes and took in the familiar scent of the room. It reminded him of his father and Delia, Amy and even Madison. And for some reason, something in here reminded him of his mother as well.

He opened his eyes again and looked around the room. Most of their furniture was new. They hadn't taken much with them from New York except their personal belongings. His father had wanted a brand new start and Ephram had despised him for that for a long time. Now he thought that they wouldn't have fit in the new house anyway.

His eyes fell on the piano and he was suddenly filled with a longing he hadn't felt in a long time. After his mother's death, playing had become a way to connect to her, to feel close to her. But it had also been painful and the more time had passed, the more it had hurt to play. His father had wanted him to continue, to not waste his talent, and Ephram had found himself unable to explain his feelings to his father. It had ended in him eventually despising to play the piano, something he had never thought possible.

But now, for the first time in a long time, he felt the urge to play. Slowly he got up from the couch and walked to the piano. He hesitated a moment before he sat down on the bench, but once his fingers connected with the keyboard, it all came back. The music started playing in his mind and he followed the notes with the piano. A feeling of peace washed over him and he actually found himself smiling while he played.

XXXXXXX

Andy and Delia looked at each other in surprise when they heard the music coming from the living room. After a moment, Andy put down the cloth he had used to wipe away the leftovers of the pancake that had fallen on the floor after a failed attempt at impressing his daughter with a thrown and caught pancake. A smile plastered on his face, Andy – followed closely by Delia – walked into the living room, where he found his son immersed in his piano play. For a moment, it felt as if the last months hadn't happened and Andy felt himself enjoying to simply listen to his son's music. He sat down on the couch and Delia snuggled in close to him.

After a few minutes Ephram stopped and turned around. Surprised he saw his family watching him. He swallowed and felt kind of embarrassed, as if he had been caught doing something forbidden.

Andy saw his son's unease and decided to not make a big deal out of it. "Breakfast is ready. You hungry?"

A relieved smile crept on Ephram's face. "Yeah, I am."

And he was. For the first time since his diagnosis he felt really hungry.

"That sounded good, Ephram." Delia smiled at her big brother. "Can you play my favorite song later?"

"Sure." Ephram nodded. He actually looked forward to it. "Hey Dad, um, when I'm feeling better, you think you could give Mr. Reynolds a call that I would like to take up my piano lessens again?"

"Sure." Andy replied as casual as possible. Inwardly his heart leaped with joy at his son's words. It was true. They were healing and they were a family again. It had taken Ephram to nearly die for them to grew together again, but Andy was convinced that if they had survived his disease, together they could survive everything that life would throw at them.


	22. Epilogue

**A.N.: It has taken me a bit longer than planned to write this epilogue. But here it finally is - the absolutely last part of this story. Thanks again to all of you for reading, reviewing and supporting me.**

**Thanks to andy4ita and Kuchengelybber for pointing out that Delia was missing in this last part. I rewrote it a bit and now of course our favourite piano player's little sister is in here as well. **

fantasyforever1989: Thank you so much. Reviews are the writers only payment and I always appreciate them very much. I'm glad you liked the story :o)

Andrea: Vielen, lieben Dank. Es freut mich, dass du diese Seite entdeckt hast. Es gibt noch viele schöne Geschichten hier für dich zu lesen. Meine nächste Geschichte wird nicht nach der 4. Season spielen (aber das ist eine gute Idee für meine übernächste Geschichte g). Sie fängt sogar noch vor der 1. Season an. Ich hoffe, sie gefällt dir trotzdem :o)

ashley: Here it finally is. I'm sorry for the long wait. Thanks for always reminding me that I need to get my act together and continue/finish this story.

youremyone: Thank you so much. The next story will take a bit time, since I won't post it before it's finished. And you've seen how long that can take.

**Epilogue**

Lost in her own thoughts, Amy stood at the ridge of the mountain, her eyes wandering over the houses of Everwood. Her home.

She remembered the first time she had been here with Ephram. He had left no doubt that he didn't want to be here. In Everwood. Climbing in the mountains in the middle of winter. He had hated it all. He had hated the idea of climbing in the mountains from the moment she had told him to follow her up there. And yet he had done just that. He had come with her and now she thought that maybe in that moment, she had started to fall in love with him. Or maybe it had already happened the moment he had stepped foot on the school property. All she knew was, that she had fallen for him faster than she had ever thought possible.

A chuckle escaped Amy's lips when she thought of Ephram standing next to her, in this very spot, freezing and shivering all over. She had made him buy a warmer jacket the next day. Of course he had refused at first, but in the end he hadn't been able to say no to her. He never had been very good at that. And to tell the truth, Amy had always had a hard time saying no to him either.

Pulling her jacket tighter around her, Amy sat down on a bench. It was cold. Usually, Ephram would put his arm around her now and keep her warm. He always had kept her warm, whether he had been freezing himself or not. It was as if he always kept some warmth saved somewhere inside of him to share with her.

Smiling she let her fingers trace over the wooden bench. It hadn't been here when she and Ephram had come here for the first time, so many years ago. Julie and Tim had set up the bench a few years ago when she and Ephram had become too old to sit on the ground.

Forty years. Forty wonderful years she had had with Ephram. And they had come here every year.

Here Ephram had asked her to marry him. And without hesitation she had said yes. What else could she have said?

It was here that she had told him she was expecting. Both times. And at least one of their children was conceived here. Maybe both.

They had picnics here together every year, first just the two of them, then later their children had joined them. And no matter how old they had become, they had insisted on coming with their parents up here no matter what.

Their children – even now when Amy looked at them, she saw Ephram in them. In Julie the most. She had her father's eyes. And Tim had inherited his smile. Ephram had always complained that their children looked too much like him, but Amy loved it.

Smiling she remembered how different their lives had turned out from what they had pictured when they had been in high school. They hadn't moved to New York. Instead they had stayed in Everwood. It had been Ephram who had suggested to stay. Amy still had to laugh at the expression her face must have held when he had told her. He didn't want to be the world's most famous piano player anymore. He didn't want to sacrifice his family for that.

So they had stayed and Ephram had become a piano teacher here in Everwood. He had loved teaching the children – and some adults now and then – how to play and the children loved him. It had been the right choice. And Amy … she had started being a teacher at the local high school, but now was the town's mayor. Her mother would have been proud that she had followed into her footsteps. Or so her father always said. He was proud himself. The fact that Tim had studied medicine and joined the praxis with his grandfather had been a dream come true for Harold Abbott. It had been a good thing that by then her father and father-in-law had had a shared praxis already, or else Tim would have been caught between the two rivalling grandfathers trying to pull him on their side.

Again she had to laugh when she thought of how both men always insisted on being the better grandfather. Even after all these years they had never stopped competing against each other. Amy still couldn't quite grasp their decision to move together after both Rose and Nina had passed away at the proud age of 88 and 82. She had been convinced the two men would kill themselves, but until now they still lived happily – even though not always peacefully – together.

Now she was glad Andy didn't have to be alone. Ephram's death had shaken the old man hard. Parent's weren't supposed to survive their own children. She had watched her grandmother grief, when her daughter – Amy's aunt – had succumbed to Aids, a disease she had fought for years, but in the end hadn't been able to beat. Her grandmother hadn't been the same woman afterwards anymore. And Andy wasn't the same anymore either. Most of the time he looked broken and only his grandchildren managed to put a smile on his face. Amy hoped that somehow he would learn to cope with his son's death. She didn't think she could deal with another death in her family so short after Ephram.

Delia had changed too. The first time she hadn't been able to donor for her brother due to her youth. Now she had been old enough ... and yet she hadn't been able to save him. Amy knew that deep down Delia blamed herself. The light in her eyes had vanished and Amy believed that it would take a long time for the younger woman to recover from her brother's death. But she knew Delia ... they had become good friends over the years. She was a strong person and if anyone would recover from something like this, it was her. And she had a wonderful husband who would help her through that time.

A single tear escaped her eye when Amy thought of the last months. Ephram had fought hard. Forty years ago he had beaten the cancer and they had lived happily together. They had had forty years together before the cancer had come back. They had hoped and fought together, but in the end the cancer had won. And now Ephram was dead.

A whole month she had been without him now. The longest, most painful month in her life. Something was missing deep inside of her and nothing in the living world could fill that hole. She still had her children and grandchildren. She loved them deeply and she enjoyed every moment she could spend with them. But it wasn't the same. She missed Ephram's smile and his laughter when he played with their grandchildren. She missed his music playing in their house. She missed seeing him sitting at the piano, playing … sometimes alone, sometimes with one of the children. Sometimes with her. She missed falling asleep next to him and waking him up next to him. She missed sitting across from him at the breakfast table. She missed spending a cold winter evening cuddled close to him in front of the fireplace. She missed his scent, his warmth, his touch, his kisses, the way he could make her smile or laugh with just one word or look. She missed talking to him without having to say a single word. She missed seeing his eyes light up whenever she walked into a room. She missed his voice, his whispered "I love you", his sleepy voice in the morning and his irritated growl at night when she wouldn't stop talking when all he wanted was fall asleep. She missed his arms around her, his presence that had always made her feel safe. She missed his jokes, his hidden laughter when she was planning something ridiculous again. She missed his support to all those plans, no matter what he thought of them. She missed watching him read or watch TV, cooking, washing the dishes or simply stare out of the window, lost in his own thoughts.

She missed him with all her heart and sometimes it hurt so much, it took away her breath. Even after a month, she wanted nothing more than to lie down and follow her love into death. She wanted to be with Ephram so much. But she had promised him to go on. It had been one of the last things he had said to her. "Don't give up. Keep living. Make me proud. I'll wait for you." The next day he had lost consciousness and he hadn't woken up again.

_"Don't give up. Keep living. Make me proud. I'll wait for you." _

She kept repeating his words in her mind over and over again. It had become her mantra. The first thing she thought of in the morning and her last thought before she fell asleep. Don't give up. Keep living. Make me proud. I'll wait for you. It was all that kept her going these days.

She was healthy. She was only 56 years old. Too young to die. She wanted to see her grandchildren grow up, go to school and become the wonderful adults their parents already were. She wanted to see Ephram in them. She still had her job. Mayor of the town Everwood. An important task. This town was still as crazy as it used to be and it would need a mayor that could keep a calm head.

She still had lots of things to do. She wouldn't give up. She had reasons to keep living. She would make her husband proud. And she would wait for the day until she was reunited with him again.

"I love you, Ephram." She whispered into the wind.

The end.

* * *

**A.N.: I'm looking for a beta for my future Everwood stories. There are a lot of sayings and expressions that I still get wrong and I would feel a lot better about posting if someone could have a look at the chapters first. It might also keep me from posting something completely terrible when someone reads a chapter before I get the chance to post it ;) So if anyone of you is willing to help me, I'd deeply appreciate that. **

**Silwyna **


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